English
Myhandshadbeendressedtwiceorthriceinthenight,andagaininthemorning.
Myleftarmwasagooddealburnedtotheelbow,and,lessseverely,ashighastheshoulder;itwasverypainful,buttheflameshadsetinthatdirection,andIfeltthankfulitwasnoworse.
MyrighthandwasnotsobadlyburntbutthatIcouldmovethefingers.
Itwasbandaged,ofcourse,butmuchlessinconvenientlythanmylefthandandarm;thoseIcarriedinasling;andIcouldonlywearmycoatlikeacloak,looseovermyshouldersandfastenedattheneck.
Myhairhadbeencaughtbythefire,butnotmyheadorface.
WhenHerberthadbeendowntoHammersmithandseenhisfather,hecamebacktomeatourchambers,anddevotedthedaytoattendingonme.
Hewasthekindestofnurses,andatstatedtimestookoffthebandages,andsteepedtheminthecoolingliquidthatwaskeptready,andputthemonagain,withapatienttendernessthatIwasdeeplygratefulfor.
Atfirst,asIlayquietonthesofa,Ifounditpainfullydifficult,Imightsayimpossible,togetridoftheimpressionoftheglareoftheflames,theirhurryandnoise,andthefierceburningsmell.
IfIdozedforaminute,IwasawakenedbyMissHavisham’scries,andbyherrunningatmewithallthatheightoffireaboveherhead.
ThispainofthemindwasmuchhardertostriveagainstthananybodilypainIsuffered;andHerbert,seeingthat,didhisutmosttoholdmyattentionengaged.
Neitherofusspokeoftheboat,butweboththoughtofit.
Thatwasmadeapparentbyouravoidanceofthesubject,andbyouragreeing—withoutagreement—tomakemyrecoveryoftheuseofmyhands,aquestionofsomanyhours,notofsomanyweeks.
MyfirstquestionwhenIsawHerberthadbeenofcourse,whetherallwaswelldowntheriver?
Asherepliedintheaffirmative,withperfectconfidenceandcheerfulness,wedidnotresumethesubjectuntilthedaywaswearingaway.
Butthen,asHerbertchangedthebandages,morebythelightofthefirethanbytheouterlight,hewentbacktoitspontaneously.
“IsatwithProvislastnight,Handel,twogoodhours.”
“WherewasClara?”
“Dearlittlething!”saidHerbert.
“ShewasupanddownwithGruffandgrimalltheevening.
Hewasperpetuallypeggingatthefloor,themomentshelefthissight.Idoubtifhecanholdoutlongthough.
Whatwithrumandpepper—andpepperandrum—Ishouldthinkhispeggingmustbenearlyover.”
“Andthenyouwillbemarried,Herbert?”
“HowcanItakecareofthedearchildotherwise?
—Layyourarmoutuponthebackofthesofa,mydearboy,andI’llsitdownhere,andgetthebandageoffsograduallythatyoushallnotknowwhenitcomes.IwasspeakingofProvis.Doyouknow,Handel,heimproves?”
“IsaidtoyouIthoughthewassoftenedwhenIlastsawhim.”
“Soyoudid.Andsoheis.Hewasverycommunicativelastnight,andtoldmemoreofhislife.Yourememberhisbreakingoffhereaboutsomewomanthathehadhadgreattroublewith.—DidIhurtyou?”
Ihadstarted,butnotunderhistouch.Hiswordshadgivenmeastart.
“Ihadforgottenthat,Herbert,butIrememberitnowyouspeakofit.”
“Well!Hewentintothatpartofhislife,andadarkwildpartitis.ShallItellyou?Orwoulditworryyoujustnow?”
“Tellmebyallmeans.Everyword.”
Herbertbentforwardtolookatmemorenearly,asifmyreplyhadbeenrathermorehurriedormoreeagerthanhecouldquiteaccountfor.“Yourheadiscool?”hesaid,touchingit.
“Quite,”saidI.“TellmewhatProvissaid,mydearHerbert.”
“Itseems,”saidHerbert,”—there’sabandageoffmostcharmingly,andnowcomesthecoolone—makesyoushrinkatfirst,mypoordearfellow,don’tit?
butitwillbecomfortablepresently—itseemsthatthewomanwasayoungwoman,andajealouswoman,andarevengefulwoman;revengeful,Handel,tothelastdegree.”
“Towhatlastdegree?”
“Murder.—Doesitstriketoocoldonthatsensitiveplace?”
“Idon’tfeelit.Howdidshemurder?Whomdidshemurder?”
“Why,thedeedmaynothavemeritedquitesoterribleaname,”saidHerbert,“but,shewastriedforit,andMr.Jaggersdefendedher,andthereputationofthatdefencefirstmadehisnameknowntoProvis.
Itwasanotherandastrongerwomanwhowasthevictim,andtherehadbeenastruggle—inabarn.
Whobeganit,orhowfairitwas,orhowunfair,maybedoubtful;buthowitended,iscertainlynotdoubtful,forthevictimwasfoundthrottled.”
“Wasthewomanbroughtinguilty?”
“No;shewasacquitted.—MypoorHandel,Ihurtyou!”
“Itisimpossibletobegentler,Herbert.Yes?Whatelse?”
“ThisacquittedyoungwomanandProvishadalittlechild:alittlechildofwhomProviswasexceedinglyfond.
OntheeveningoftheverynightwhentheobjectofherjealousywasstrangledasItellyou,theyoungwomanpresentedherselfbeforeProvisforonemoment,andsworethatshewoulddestroythechild(whichwasinherpossession),andheshouldneverseeitagain;then,shevanished.
—There’stheworstarmcomfortablyintheslingoncemore,andnowthereremainsbuttherighthand,whichisafareasierjob.
Icandoitbetterbythislightthanbyastronger,formyhandissteadiestwhenIdon’tseethepoorblisteredpatchestoodistinctly.
—Youdon’tthinkyourbreathingisaffected,mydearboy?Youseemtobreathequickly.”
“PerhapsIdo,Herbert.Didthewomankeepheroath?”
“TherecomesthedarkestpartofProvis’slife.Shedid.”
“Thatis,hesaysshedid.”
“Why,ofcourse,mydearboy,”returnedHerbert,inatoneofsurprise,andagainbendingforwardtogetanearerlookatme.“Hesaysitall.Ihavenootherinformation.”
“No,tobesure.”
“Now,whether,”pursuedHerbert,“hehadusedthechild’smotherill,orwhetherhehadusedthechild’smotherwell,Provisdoesn’tsay;but,shehadsharedsomefourorfiveyearsofthewretchedlifehedescribedtousatthisfireside,andheseemstohavefeltpityforher,andforbearancetowardsher.
Therefore,fearingheshouldbecalledupontodeposeaboutthisdestroyedchild,andsobethecauseofherdeath,hehidhimself(muchashegrievedforthechild),kepthimselfdark,ashesays,outofthewayandoutofthetrial,andwasonlyvaguelytalkedofasacertainmancalledAbel,outofwhomthejealousyarose.
Aftertheacquittalshedisappeared,andthushelostthechildandthechild’smother.”
“Iwanttoask—”
“Amoment,mydearboy,andIhavedone.
Thatevilgenius,Compeyson,theworstofscoundrelsamongmanyscoundrels,knowingofhiskeepingoutofthewayatthattime,andofhisreasonsfordoingso,ofcourseafterwardsheldtheknowledgeoverhisheadasameansofkeepinghimpoorer,andworkinghimharder.
ItwasclearlastnightthatthisbarbedthepointofProvis’sanimosity.”
“Iwanttoknow,”saidI,“andparticularly,Herbert,whetherhetoldyouwhenthishappened?”
“Particularly?Letmeremember,then,whathesaidastothat.
Hisexpressionwas,‘aroundscoreo’yearago,anda’mostdirectlyafterItookupwi’Compeyson.’
Howoldwereyouwhenyoucameuponhiminthelittlechurchyard?”
“Ithinkinmyseventhyear.”
“Ay.Ithadhappenedsomethreeorfouryearsthen,hesaid,andyoubroughtintohismindthelittlegirlsotragicallylost,whowouldhavebeenaboutyourage.”
“Herbert,”saidI,afterashortsilence,inahurriedway,“canyouseemebestbythelightofthewindow,orthelightofthefire?”
“Bythefirelight,”answeredHerbert,comingcloseagain.
“Lookatme.”
“Idolookatyou,mydearboy.”
“Touchme.”
“Idotouchyou,mydearboy.”
“YouarenotafraidthatIaminanyfever,orthatmyheadismuchdisorderedbytheaccidentoflastnight?”
“N-no,mydearboy,”saidHerbert,aftertakingtimetoexamineme.“Youareratherexcited,butyouarequiteyourself.”
“IknowIamquitemyself.Andthemanwehaveinhidingdowntheriver,isEstella’sFather.”
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