English
Mr.Pocketsaidhewasgladtoseeme,andhehopedIwasnotsorrytoseehim.
“For,Ireallyamnot,”headded,withhisson’ssmile,“analarmingpersonage.”
Hewasayoung-lookingman,inspiteofhisperplexitiesandhisverygreyhair,andhismannerseemedquitenatural.
Iusethewordnatural,inthesenseofitsbeingunaffected;therewassomethingcomicinhisdistraughtway,asthoughitwouldhavebeendownrightludicrousbutforhisownperceptionthatitwasverynearbeingso.
Whenhehadtalkedwithmealittle,hesaidtoMrs.Pocket,witharatheranxiouscontractionofhiseyebrows,whichwereblackandhandsome,“Belinda,IhopeyouhavewelcomedMr.Pip?”
Andshelookedupfromherbook,andsaid,“Yes.”
Shethensmileduponmeinanabsentstateofmind,andaskedmeifIlikedthetasteoforange-flowerwater?
Asthequestionhadnobearing,nearorremote,onanyforegoneorsubsequenttransaction,Iconsiderittohavebeenthrownout,likeherpreviousapproaches,ingeneralconversationalcondescension.
Ifoundoutwithinafewhours,andmaymentionatonce,thatMrs.PocketwastheonlydaughterofacertainquiteaccidentaldeceasedKnight,whohadinventedforhimselfaconvictionthathisdeceasedfatherwouldhavebeenmadeaBaronetbutforsomebody’sdeterminedoppositionarisingoutofentirelypersonalmotives—Iforgetwhose,ifIeverknew—theSovereign’s,thePrimeMinister’s,theLordChancellor’s,theArchbishopofCanterbury’s,anybody’s—andhadtackedhimselfontothenoblesoftheearthinrightofthisquitesupposititiousfact.
IbelievehehadbeenknightedhimselfforstormingtheEnglishgrammaratthepointofthepen,inadesperateaddressengrossedonvellum,ontheoccasionofthelayingofthefirststoneofsomebuildingorother,andforhandingsomeRoyalPersonageeitherthetrowelorthemortar.
Bethatasitmay,hehaddirectedMrs.Pockettobebroughtupfromhercradleasonewhointhenatureofthingsmustmarryatitle,andwhowastobeguardedfromtheacquisitionofplebeiandomesticknowledge.
Sosuccessfulawatchandwardhadbeenestablishedovertheyoungladybythisjudiciousparent,thatshehadgrownuphighlyornamental,butperfectlyhelplessanduseless.
Withhercharacterthushappilyformed,inthefirstbloomofheryouthshehadencounteredMr.Pocket:whowasalsointhefirstbloomofyouth,andnotquitedecidedwhethertomounttotheWoolsack,ortoroofhimselfinwithamitre.
Ashisdoingtheoneortheotherwasamerequestionoftime,heandMrs.PockethadtakenTimebytheforelock(when,tojudgefromitslength,itwouldseemtohavewantedcutting),andhadmarriedwithouttheknowledgeofthejudiciousparent.
Thejudiciousparent,havingnothingtobestoworwithholdbuthisblessing,hadhandsomelysettledthatdoweruponthemafterashortstruggle,andhadinformedMr.Pocketthathiswifewas“atreasureforaPrince.”
Mr.PockethadinvestedthePrince’streasureinthewaysoftheworldeversince,anditwassupposedtohavebroughthiminbutindifferentinterest.
Still,Mrs.Pocketwasingeneraltheobjectofaqueersortofrespectfulpity,becauseshehadnotmarriedatitle;whileMr.Pocketwastheobjectofaqueersortofforgivingreproach,becausehehadnevergotone.
Mr.Pockettookmeintothehouseandshowedmemyroom:whichwasapleasantone,andsofurnishedasthatIcoulduseitwithcomfortformyownprivatesitting-room.
Hethenknockedatthedoorsoftwoothersimilarrooms,andintroducedmetotheiroccupants,bynameDrummleandStartop.
Drummle,anold-lookingyoungmanofaheavyorderofarchitecture,waswhistling.
Startop,youngerinyearsandappearance,wasreadingandholdinghishead,asifhethoughthimselfindangerofexplodingitwithtoostrongachargeofknowledge.
BothMr.andMrs.Pockethadsuchanoticeableairofbeinginsomebodyelse’shands,thatIwonderedwhoreallywasinpossessionofthehouseandletthemlivethere,untilIfoundthisunknownpowertobetheservants.
Itwasasmoothwayofgoingon,perhaps,inrespectofsavingtrouble;butithadtheappearanceofbeingexpensive,fortheservantsfeltitadutytheyowedtothemselvestobeniceintheireatinganddrinking,andtokeepadealofcompanydownstairs.
TheyallowedaveryliberaltabletoMr.andMrs.Pocket,yetitalwaysappearedtomethatbyfarthebestpartofthehousetohaveboardedin,wouldhavebeenthekitchen—alwayssupposingtheboardercapableofself-defence,for,beforeIhadbeenthereaweek,aneighbouringladywithwhomthefamilywerepersonallyunacquainted,wroteintosaythatshehadseenMillersslappingthebaby.
ThisgreatlydistressedMrs.Pocket,whoburstintotearsonreceivingthenote,andsaidthatitwasanextraordinarythingthattheneighbourscouldn’tmindtheirownbusiness.
BydegreesIlearnt,andchieflyfromHerbert,thatMr.PockethadbeeneducatedatHarrowandatCambridge,wherehehaddistinguishedhimself;butthatwhenhehadhadthehappinessofmarryingMrs.Pocketveryearlyinlife,hehadimpairedhisprospectsandtakenupthecallingofaGrinder.
Aftergrindinganumberofdullblades—ofwhomitwasremarkablethattheirfathers,wheninfluential,werealwaysgoingtohelphimtopreferment,butalwaysforgottodoitwhenthebladeshadlefttheGrindstone—hehadweariedofthatpoorworkandhadcometoLondon.
Here,aftergraduallyfailinginloftierhopes,hehad“read”withdiverswhohadlackedopportunitiesorneglectedthem,andhadrefurbisheddiversothersforspecialoccasions,andhadturnedhisacquirementstotheaccountofliterarycompilationandcorrection,andonsuchmeans,addedtosomeverymoderateprivateresources,stillmaintainedthehouseIsaw.
Mr.andMrs.Pockethadatoadyneighbour;awidowladyofthathighlysympatheticnaturethatsheagreedwitheverybody,blessedeverybody,andshedsmilesandtearsoneverybody,accordingtocircumstances.
Thislady’snamewasMrs.Coiler,andIhadthehonouroftakingherdowntodinneronthedayofmyinstallation.
Shegavemetounderstandonthestairs,thatitwasablowtodearMrs.PocketthatdearMr.Pocketshouldbeunderthenecessityofreceivinggentlementoreadwithhim.
Thatdidnotextendtome,shetoldmeinagushofloveandconfidence(atthattime,Ihadknownhersomethinglessthanfiveminutes);iftheywerealllikeMe,itwouldbequiteanotherthing.
“ButdearMrs.Pocket,”saidMrs.Coiler,“afterherearlydisappointment(notthatdearMr.Pocketwastoblameinthat),requiressomuchluxuryandelegance—”
“Yes,ma’am,”Isaid,tostopher,forIwasafraidshewasgoingtocry.
“Andsheisofsoaristocraticadisposition—”
“Yes,ma’am,”Isaidagain,withthesameobjectasbefore.
”—thatitishard,”saidMrs.Coiler,“tohavedearMr.Pocket’stimeandattentiondivertedfromdearMrs.Pocket.”
Icouldnothelpthinkingthatitmightbeharderifthebutcher’stimeandattentionweredivertedfromdearMrs.Pocket;butIsaidnothing,andindeedhadenoughtodoinkeepingabashfulwatchuponmycompany-manners.
Itcametomyknowledge,throughwhatpassedbetweenMrs.PocketandDrummlewhileIwasattentivetomyknifeandfork,spoon,glasses,andotherinstrumentsofself-destruction,thatDrummle,whoseChristiannamewasBentley,wasactuallythenextheirbutonetoabaronetcy.
ItfurtherappearedthatthebookIhadseenMrs.Pocketreadinginthegarden,wasallabouttitles,andthatsheknewtheexactdateatwhichhergrandpapawouldhavecomeintothebook,ifheeverhadcomeatall.
Drummledidn’tsaymuch,butinhislimitedway(hestruckmeasasulkykindoffellow)hespokeasoneoftheelect,andrecognizedMrs.Pocketasawomanandasister.
NoonebutthemselvesandMrs.Coilerthetoadyneighbourshowedanyinterestinthispartoftheconversation,anditappearedtomethatitwaspainfultoHerbert;butitpromisedtolastalongtime,whenthepagecameinwiththeannouncementofadomesticaffliction.
Itwas,ineffect,thatthecookhadmislaidthebeef.
Tomyunutterableamazement,Inow,forthefirsttime,sawMr.Pocketrelievehismindbygoingthroughaperformancethatstruckmeasveryextraordinary,butwhichmadenoimpressiononanybodyelse,andwithwhichIsoonbecameasfamiliarastherest.
Helaiddownthecarving-knifeandfork—beingengagedincarving,atthemoment—puthistwohandsintohisdisturbedhair,andappearedtomakeanextraordinaryefforttolifthimselfupbyit.
Whenhehaddonethis,andhadnotliftedhimselfupatall,hequietlywentonwithwhathewasabout.
Mrs.Coilerthenchangedthesubject,andbegantoflatterme.
Ilikeditforafewmoments,butsheflatteredmesoverygrosslythatthepleasurewassoonover.
ShehadaserpentinewayofcomingcloseatmewhenshepretendedtobevitallyinterestedinthefriendsandlocalitiesIhadleft,whichwasaltogethersnakyandfork-tongued;andwhenshemadeanoccasionalbounceuponStartop(whosaidverylittletoher),oruponDrummle(whosaidless),Iratherenviedthemforbeingontheoppositesideofthetable.
Afterdinnerthechildrenwereintroduced,andMrs.Coilermadeadmiringcommentsontheireyes,noses,andlegs—asagaciouswayofimprovingtheirminds.
Therewerefourlittlegirls,andtwolittleboys,besidesthebabywhomighthavebeeneither,andthebaby’snextsuccessorwhowasasyetneither.
TheywerebroughtinbyFlopsonandMillers,muchasthoughthosetwononcommissionedofficershadbeenrecruitingsomewhereforchildrenandhadenlistedthese:whileMrs.PocketlookedattheyoungNoblesthatoughttohavebeen,asifsheratherthoughtshehadhadthepleasureofinspectingthembefore,butdidn’tquiteknowwhattomakeofthem.
“Here!Givemeyourfork,Mum,andtakethebaby,”saidFlopson.“Don’ttakeitthatway,oryou’llgetitsheadunderthetable.”
Thusadvised,Mrs.Pockettookittheotherway,andgotitsheaduponthetable;whichwasannouncedtoallpresentbyaprodigiousconcussion.
“Dear,dear!Giveitmeback,Mum,”saidFlopson;“andMissJane,comeanddancetobaby,do!”
Oneofthelittlegirls,ameremitewhoseemedtohaveprematurelytakenuponherselfsomechargeoftheothers,steppedoutofherplacebyme,anddancedtoandfromthebabyuntilitleftoffcrying,andlaughed.
Then,allthechildrenlaughed,andMr.Pocket(whointhemeantimehadtwiceendeavouredtolifthimselfupbythehair)laughed,andwealllaughedandwereglad.
Flopson,bydintofdoublingthebabyatthejointslikeaDutchdoll,thengotitsafelyintoMrs.Pocket’slap,andgaveitthenutcrackerstoplaywith:atthesametimerecommendingMrs.Pockettotakenoticethatthehandlesofthatinstrumentwerenotlikelytoagreewithitseyes,andsharplychargingMissJanetolookafterthesame.
Then,thetwonurseslefttheroom,andhadalivelyscuffleonthestaircasewithadissipatedpagewhohadwaitedatdinner,andwhohadclearlylosthalfhisbuttonsatthegamingtable.
IwasmadeveryuneasyinmymindbyMrs.Pocket’sfallingintoadiscussionwithDrummlerespectingtwobaronetcies,whilesheateaslicedorangesteepedinsugarandwine,andforgettingallaboutthebabyonherlap:whodidmostappallingthingswiththenutcrackers.
Atlength,littleJaneperceivingitsyoungbrainstobeimperilled,softlyleftherplace,andwithmanysmallartificescoaxedthedangerousweaponaway.
Mrs.Pocketfinishingherorangeataboutthesametime,andnotapprovingofthis,saidtoJane:
“Younaughtychild,howdareyou?Goandsitdownthisinstant!”
“Mammadear,”lispedthelittlegirl,“babyoodhaveputhitheyethout.”
“Howdareyoutellmeso?”retortedMrs.Pocket.“Goandsitdowninyourchairthismoment!”
Mrs.Pocket’sdignitywassocrushing,thatIfeltquiteabashed:asifImyselfhaddonesomethingtorouseit.
“Belinda,”remonstratedMr.Pocket,fromtheotherendofthetable,“howcanyoubesounreasonable?Janeonlyinterferedfortheprotectionofbaby.”
“Iwillnotallowanybodytointerfere,”saidMrs.Pocket.“Iamsurprised,Matthew,thatyoushouldexposemetotheaffrontofinterference.”
“GoodGod!”criedMr.Pocket,inanoutbreakofdesolatedesperation.“Areinfantstobenutcrackeredintotheirtombs,andisnobodytosavethem?”
“IwillnotbeinterferedwithbyJane,”saidMrs.Pocket,withamajesticglanceatthatinnocentlittleoffender.“IhopeIknowmypoorgrandpapa’sposition.Jane,indeed!”
Mr.Pocketgothishandsinhishairagain,andthistimereallydidlifthimselfsomeinchesoutofhischair.“Hearthis!”
hehelplesslyexclaimedtotheelements.
“Babiesaretobenutcrackereddead,forpeople’spoorgrandpapa’spositions!”
Thenhelethimselfdownagain,andbecamesilent.
Wealllookedawkwardlyatthetable-clothwhilethiswasgoingon.
Apausesucceeded,duringwhichthehonestandirrepressiblebabymadeaseriesofleapsandcrowsatlittleJane,whoappearedtometobetheonlymemberofthefamily(irrespectiveofservants)withwhomithadanydecidedacquaintance.
“Mr.Drummle,”saidMrs.Pocket,“willyouringforFlopson?Jane,youundutifullittlething,goandliedown.Now,babydarling,comewithma!”
Thebabywasthesoulofhonour,andprotestedwithallitsmight.
ItdoubleditselfupthewrongwayoverMrs.Pocket’sarm,exhibitedapairofknittedshoesanddimpledanklestothecompanyinlieuofitssoftface,andwascarriedoutinthehigheststateofmutiny.
Anditgaineditspointafterall,forIsawitthroughthewindowwithinafewminutes,beingnursedbylittleJane.
Ithappenedthattheotherfivechildrenwereleftbehindatthedinner-table,throughFlopson’shavingsomeprivateengagement,andtheirnotbeinganybodyelse’sbusiness.
IthusbecameawareofthemutualrelationsbetweenthemandMr.Pocket,whichwereexemplifiedinthefollowingmanner.
Mr.Pocket,withthenormalperplexityofhisfaceheightenedandhishairrumpled,lookedatthemforsomeminutes,asifhecouldn’tmakeouthowtheycametobeboardingandlodginginthatestablishment,andwhytheyhadn’tbeenbilletedbyNatureonsomebodyelse.
Then,inadistant,Missionarywayheaskedthemcertainquestions—aswhylittleJoehadthatholeinhisfrill:whosaid,Pa,Flopsonwasgoingtomenditwhenshehadtime—andhowlittleFannycamebythatwhitlow:whosaid,Pa,Millerswasgoingtopoulticeitwhenshedidn’tforget.
Then,hemeltedintoparentaltenderness,andgavethemashillingapieceandtoldthemtogoandplay;andthenastheywentout,withoneverystrongefforttolifthimselfupbythehairhedismissedthehopelesssubject.
Intheeveningtherewasrowingontheriver.
AsDrummleandStartophadeachaboat,Iresolvedtosetupmine,andtocutthembothout.
Iwasprettygoodatmostexercisesinwhichcountryboysareadepts,but,asIwasconsciousofwantingeleganceofstylefortheThames—nottosayforotherwaters—Iatonceengagedtoplacemyselfunderthetuitionofthewinnerofaprizewherrywhopliedatourstairs,andtowhomIwasintroducedbymynewallies.
Thispracticalauthorityconfusedmeverymuch,bysayingIhadthearmofablacksmith.
Ifhecouldhaveknownhownearlythecomplimentlosthimhispupil,Idoubtifhewouldhavepaidit.
Therewasasupper-trayafterwegothomeatnight,andIthinkweshouldallhaveenjoyedourselves,butforaratherdisagreeabledomesticoccurrence.
Mr.Pocketwasingoodspirits,whenahousemaidcamein,andsaid,“Ifyouplease,sir,Ishouldwishtospeaktoyou.”
“Speaktoyourmaster?”saidMrs.Pocket,whosedignitywasrousedagain.“Howcanyouthinkofsuchathing?GoandspeaktoFlopson.Orspeaktome—atsomeothertime.”
“Beggingyourpardon,ma’am,”returnedthehousemaid,“Ishouldwishtospeakatonce,andtospeaktomaster.”
Hereupon,Mr.Pocketwentoutoftheroom,andwemadethebestofourselvesuntilhecameback.
“Thisisaprettything,Belinda!”saidMr.Pocket,returningwithacountenanceexpressiveofgriefanddespair.
“Here’sthecooklyinginsensiblydrunkonthekitchenfloor,withalargebundleoffreshbuttermadeupinthecupboardreadytosellforgrease!”
Mrs.Pocketinstantlyshowedmuchamiableemotion,andsaid,“ThisisthatodiousSophia’sdoing!”
“Whatdoyoumean,Belinda?”demandedMr.Pocket.
“Sophiahastoldyou,”saidMrs.Pocket.“DidInotseeherwithmyowneyesandhearherwithmyownears,comeintotheroomjustnowandasktospeaktoyou?”
“Buthasshenottakenmedownstairs,Belinda,”returnedMr.Pocket,“andshownmethewoman,andthebundletoo?”
“Anddoyoudefendher,Matthew,”saidMrs.Pocket,“formakingmischief?”
Mr.Pocketutteredadismalgroan.
“AmI,grandpapa’sgranddaughter,tobenothinginthehouse?”saidMrs.Pocket.
“Besides,thecookhasalwaysbeenaverynicerespectfulwoman,andsaidinthemostnaturalmannerwhenshecametolookafterthesituation,thatshefeltIwasborntobeaDuchess.”
TherewasasofawhereMr.Pocketstood,andhedroppeduponitintheattitudeoftheDyingGladiator.
Stillinthatattitudehesaid,withahollowvoice,“Goodnight,Mr.Pip,”whenIdeemeditadvisabletogotobedandleavehim.
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