English
ThefelicitousideaoccurredtomeamorningortwolaterwhenIwoke,thatthebeststepIcouldtaketowardsmakingmyselfuncommonwastogetoutofBiddyeverythingsheknew.
InpursuanceofthisluminousconceptionImentionedtoBiddywhenIwenttoMr.Wopsle’sgreat-aunt’satnight,thatIhadaparticularreasonforwishingtogetoninlife,andthatIshouldfeelverymuchobligedtoherifshewouldimpartallherlearningtome.
Biddy,whowasthemostobligingofgirls,immediatelysaidshewould,andindeedbegantocarryoutherpromisewithinfiveminutes.
TheEducationalschemeorCourseestablishedbyMr.Wopsle’sgreat-auntmayberesolvedintothefollowingsynopsis.
Thepupilsateapplesandputstrawsdownoneanother’sbacks,untilMrWopsle’sgreat-auntcollectedherenergies,andmadeanindiscriminatetotteratthemwithabirch-rod.
Afterreceivingthechargewitheverymarkofderision,thepupilsformedinlineandbuzzinglypassedaraggedbookfromhandtohand.
Thebookhadanalphabetinit,somefiguresandtables,andalittlespelling—thatistosay,ithadhadonce.
Assoonasthisvolumebegantocirculate,Mr.Wopsle’sgreat-auntfellintoastateofcoma;arisingeitherfromsleeporarheumaticparoxysm.
ThepupilsthenenteredamongthemselvesuponacompetitiveexaminationonthesubjectofBoots,withtheviewofascertainingwhocouldtreadthehardestuponwhosetoes.
ThismentalexerciselasteduntilBiddymadearushatthemanddistributedthreedefacedBibles(shapedasiftheyhadbeenunskilfullycutoffthechump-endofsomething),moreillegiblyprintedatthebestthananycuriositiesofliteratureIhavesincemetwith,speckledalloverwithironmould,andhavingvariousspecimensoftheinsectworldsmashedbetweentheirleaves.
ThispartoftheCoursewasusuallylightenedbyseveralsinglecombatsbetweenBiddyandrefractorystudents.
Whenthefightswereover,Biddygaveoutthenumberofapage,andthenweallreadaloudwhatwecould—orwhatwecouldn’t—inafrightfulchorus;Biddyleadingwithahighshrillmonotonousvoice,andnoneofushavingtheleastnotionof,orreverencefor,whatwewerereadingabout.
Whenthishorribledinhadlastedacertaintime,itmechanicallyawokeMr.Wopsle’sgreat-aunt,whostaggeredataboyfortuitously,andpulledhisears.
ThiswasunderstoodtoterminatetheCoursefortheevening,andweemergedintotheairwithshrieksofintellectualvictory.
Itisfairtoremarkthattherewasnoprohibitionagainstanypupil’sentertaininghimselfwithaslateorevenwiththeink(whentherewasany),butthatitwasnoteasytopursuethatbranchofstudyinthewinterseason,onaccountofthelittlegeneralshopinwhichtheclasseswereholden—andwhichwasalsoMr.Wopsle’sgreat-aunt’ssitting-roomandbed-chamber—beingbutfaintlyilluminatedthroughtheagencyofonelow-spiriteddip-candleandnosnuffers.
Itappearedtomethatitwouldtaketime,tobecomeuncommonunderthesecircumstances:nevertheless,Iresolvedtotryit,andthatveryeveningBiddyenteredonourspecialagreement,byimpartingsomeinformationfromherlittlecatalogueofPrices,undertheheadofmoistsugar,andlendingme,tocopyathome,alargeoldEnglishDwhichshehadimitatedfromtheheadingofsomenewspaper,andwhichIsupposed,untilshetoldmewhatitwas,tobeadesignforabuckle.
Ofcoursetherewasapublic-houseinthevillage,andofcourseJoelikedsometimestosmokehispipethere.
IhadreceivedstrictordersfrommysistertocallforhimattheThreeJollyBargemen,thatevening,onmywayfromschool,andbringhimhomeatmyperil.
TotheThreeJollyBargemen,therefore,Idirectedmysteps.
TherewasabarattheJollyBargemen,withsomealarminglylongchalkscoresinitonthewallatthesideofthedoor,whichseemedtometobeneverpaidoff.
TheyhadbeenthereeversinceIcouldremember,andhadgrownmorethanIhad.
Buttherewasaquantityofchalkaboutourcountry,andperhapsthepeopleneglectednoopportunityofturningittoaccount.
ItbeingSaturdaynight,Ifoundthelandlordlookingrathergrimlyattheserecords,butasmybusinesswaswithJoeandnotwithhim,Imerelywishedhimgoodevening,andpassedintothecommonroomattheendofthepassage,wheretherewasabrightlargekitchenfire,andwhereJoewassmokinghispipeincompanywithMr.Wopsleandastranger.
Joegreetedmeasusualwith“Halloa,Pip,oldchap!”
andthemomenthesaidthat,thestrangerturnedhisheadandlookedatme.
Hewasasecret-lookingmanwhomIhadneverseenbefore.
Hisheadwasallononeside,andoneofhiseyeswashalfshutup,asifheweretakingaimatsomethingwithaninvisiblegun.
Hehadapipeinhismouth,andhetookitout,and,afterslowlyblowingallhissmokeawayandlookinghardatmeallthetime,nodded.
So,Inodded,andthenhenoddedagain,andmaderoomonthesettlebesidehimthatImightsitdownthere.
But,asIwasusedtositbesideJoewheneverIenteredthatplaceofresort,Isaid“No,thankyou,sir,”andfellintothespaceJoemadeformeontheoppositesettle.
Thestrangeman,afterglancingatJoe,andseeingthathisattentionwasotherwiseengaged,noddedtomeagainwhenIhadtakenmyseat,andthenrubbedhisleg—inaveryoddway,asitstruckme.
“Youwassaying,”saidthestrangeman,turningtoJoe,“thatyouwasablacksmith.”
“Yes.Isaidit,youknow,”saidJoe.
“What’llyoudrink,Mr.—?Youdidn’tmentionyourname,by-the-bye.”
Joementioneditnow,andthestrangemancalledhimbyit.“What’llyoudrink,Mr.Gargery?Atmyexpense?Totopupwith?”
“Well,”saidJoe,“totellyouthetruth,Iain’tmuchinthehabitofdrinkingatanybody’sexpensebutmyown.”
“Habit?No,”returnedthestranger,“butonceandaway,andonaSaturdaynighttoo.Come!Putanametoit,Mr.Gargery.”
“Iwouldn’twishtobestiffcompany,”saidJoe.“Rum.”
“Rum,”repeatedthestranger.“Andwilltheothergentlemanoriginateasentiment.”
“Rum,”saidMr.Wopsle.
“ThreeRums!”criedthestranger,callingtothelandlord.“Glassesround!”
“Thisothergentleman,”observedJoe,bywayofintroducingMr.Wopsle,“isagentlemanthatyouwouldliketoheargiveitout.Ourclerkatchurch.”
“Aha!”saidthestranger,quickly,andcockinghiseyeatme.“Thelonelychurch,rightoutonthemarshes,withgravesroundit!”
“That’sit,”saidJoe.
Thestranger,withacomfortablekindofgruntoverhispipe,puthislegsuponthesettlethathehadtohimself.
Heworeaflappingbroad-brimmedtraveller’shat,andunderitahandkerchieftiedoverhisheadinthemannerofacap:sothatheshowednohair.
Ashelookedatthefire,IthoughtIsawacunningexpression,followedbyahalf-laugh,comeintohisface.
“Iamnotacquaintedwiththiscountry,gentlemen,butitseemsasolitarycountrytowardstheriver.”
“Mostmarshesissolitary,”saidJoe.
“Nodoubt,nodoubt.Doyoufindanygipsies,now,ortramps,orvagrantsofanysort,outthere?”
“No,”saidJoe;“nonebutarunawayconvictnowandthen.Andwedon’tfindthem,easy.Eh,Mr.Wopsle?”
Mr.Wopsle,withamajesticremembranceofolddiscomfiture,assented;butnotwarmly.
“Seemsyouhavebeenoutaftersuch?”askedthestranger.
“Once,”returnedJoe.“Notthatwewantedtotakethem,youunderstand;wewentoutaslookerson;me,andMr.Wopsle,andPip.Didn’tus,Pip?”
“Yes,Joe.”
Thestrangerlookedatmeagain—stillcockinghiseye,asifhewereexpresslytakingaimatmewithhisinvisiblegun—andsaid,“He’salikelyyoungparcelofbonesthat.Whatisityoucallhim?”
“Pip,”saidJoe.
“ChristenedPip?”
“No,notchristenedPip.”
“SurnamePip?”
“No,”saidJoe,“it’sakindoffamilynamewhathegavehimselfwhenainfant,andiscalledby.”
“Sonofyours?”
“Well,”saidJoe,meditatively—not,ofcourse,thatitcouldbeinanywisenecessarytoconsideraboutit,butbecauseitwasthewayattheJollyBargementoseemtoconsiderdeeplyabouteverythingthatwasdiscussedoverpipes;“well—no.No,heain’t.”
“Nevvy?”saidthestrangeman.
“Well,”saidJoe,withthesameappearanceofprofoundcogitation,“heisnot—no,nottodeceiveyou,heisnot—mynevvy.”
“WhattheBlueBlazesishe?”askedthestranger.Whichappearedtometobeaninquiryofunnecessarystrength.
Mr.Wopslestruckinuponthat;asonewhoknewallaboutrelationships,havingprofessionaloccasiontobearinmindwhatfemalerelationsamanmightnotmarry;andexpoundedthetiesbetweenmeandJoe.
Havinghishandin,Mr.WopslefinishedoffwithamostterrificallysnarlingpassagefromRichardtheThird,andseemedtothinkhehaddonequiteenoughtoaccountforitwhenheadded,—”asthepoetsays.”
AndhereImayremarkthatwhenMr.Wopslereferredtome,heconsidereditanecessarypartofsuchreferencetorumplemyhairandpokeitintomyeyes.
Icannotconceivewhyeverybodyofhisstandingwhovisitedatourhouseshouldalwayshaveputmethroughthesameinflammatoryprocessundersimilarcircumstances.
YetIdonotcalltomindthatIwaseverinmyearlieryouththesubjectofremarkinoursocialfamilycircle,butsomelarge-handedpersontooksomesuchophthalmicstepstopatronizeme.
Allthiswhile,thestrangemanlookedatnobodybutme,andlookedatmeasifheweredeterminedtohaveashotatmeatlast,andbringmedown.
ButhesaidnothingafterofferinghisBlueBlazesobservation,untiltheglassesofrum-and-waterwerebrought;andthenhemadehisshot,andamostextraordinaryshotitwas.
Itwasnotaverbalremark,butaproceedingindumpshow,andwaspointedlyaddressedtome.
Hestirredhisrum-and-waterpointedlyatme,andhetastedhisrum-and-waterpointedlyatme.
Andhestirreditandhetastedit:notwithaspoonthatwasbroughttohim,butwithafile.
HedidthissothatnobodybutIsawthefile;andwhenhehaddoneithewipedthefileandputitinabreast-pocket.
IknewittobeJoe’sfile,andIknewthatheknewmyconvict,themomentIsawtheinstrument.Isatgazingathim,spell-bound.
Buthenowreclinedonhissettle,takingverylittlenoticeofme,andtalkingprincipallyaboutturnips.
Therewasadelicioussenseofcleaning-upandmakingaquietpausebeforegoingoninlifeafresh,inourvillageonSaturdaynights,whichstimulatedJoetodaretostayouthalfanhourlongeronSaturdaysthanatothertimes.
Thehalfhourandtherum-and-waterrunningouttogether,Joegotuptogo,andtookmebythehand.
“Stophalfamoment,Mr.Gargery,”saidthestrangeman.“IthinkI’vegotabrightnewshillingsomewhereinmypocket,andifIhave,theboyshallhaveit.”
Helookeditoutfromahandfulofsmallchange,foldeditinsomecrumpledpaper,andgaveittome.“Yours!”saidhe.“Mind!Yourown.”
Ithankedhim,staringathimfarbeyondtheboundsofgoodmanners,andholdingtighttoJoe.
HegaveJoegood-night,andhegaveMr.Wopslegood-night(whowentoutwithus),andhegavemeonlyalookwithhisaimingeye—no,notalook,forheshutitup,butwondersmaybedonewithaneyebyhidingit.
Onthewayhome,ifIhadbeeninahumourfortalking,thetalkmusthavebeenallonmyside,forMr.WopslepartedfromusatthedooroftheJollyBargemen,andJoewentallthewayhomewithhismouthwideopen,torinsetherumoutwithasmuchairaspossible.
ButIwasinamannerstupefiedbythisturningupofmyoldmisdeedandoldacquaintance,andcouldthinkofnothingelse.
Mysisterwasnotinaverybadtemperwhenwepresentedourselvesinthekitchen,andJoewasencouragedbythatunusualcircumstancetotellheraboutthebrightshilling.
“Abadun,I’llbebound,”saidMrs.Joetriumphantly,“orhewouldn’thavegivenittotheboy!Let’slookatit.”
Itookitoutofthepaper,anditprovedtobeagoodone.“Butwhat’sthis?”saidMrs.Joe,throwingdowntheshillingandcatchingupthepaper.“TwoOne-Poundnotes?”
Nothinglessthantwofatswelteringone-poundnotesthatseemedtohavebeenontermsofthewarmestintimacywithallthecattlemarketsinthecounty.
Joecaughtuphishatagain,andranwiththemtotheJollyBargementorestorethemtotheirowner.
Whilehewasgone,Isatdownonmyusualstoolandlookedvacantlyatmysister,feelingprettysurethatthemanwouldnotbethere.
Presently,Joecameback,sayingthatthemanwasgone,butthathe,Joe,hadleftwordattheThreeJollyBargemenconcerningthenotes.
Thenmysistersealedthemupinapieceofpaper,andputthemundersomedriedrose-leavesinanornamentaltea-potonthetopofapressinthestateparlour.
Theretheyremained,anightmaretome,manyandmanyanightandday.
IhadsadlybrokensleepwhenIgottobed,throughthinkingofthestrangemantakingaimatmewithhisinvisiblegun,andoftheguiltilycoarseandcommonthingitwas,tobeonsecrettermsofconspiracywithconvicts—afeatureinmylowcareerthatIhadpreviouslyforgotten.Iwashauntedbythefiletoo.
AdreadpossessedmethatwhenIleastexpectedit,thefilewouldreappear.
IcoaxedmyselftosleepbythinkingofMissHavisham’s,nextWednesday;andinmysleepIsawthefilecomingatmeoutofadoor,withoutseeingwhoheldit,andIscreamedmyselfawake.
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