English
AtthetimewhenIstoodinthechurchyard,readingthefamilytombstones,Ihadjustenoughlearningtobeabletospellthemout.
Myconstructionevenoftheirsimplemeaningwasnotverycorrect,forIread“wifeoftheAbove”asacomplimentaryreferencetomyfather’sexaltationtoabetterworld;andifanyoneofmydeceasedrelationshadbeenreferredtoas“Below,”IhavenodoubtIshouldhaveformedtheworstopinionsofthatmemberofthefamily.
Neither,weremynotionsofthetheologicalpositionstowhichmyCatechismboundme,atallaccurate;for,IhavealivelyremembrancethatIsupposedmydeclarationthatIwasto“walkinthesameallthedaysofmylife,”laidmeunderanobligationalwaystogothroughthevillagefromourhouseinoneparticulardirection,andnevertovaryitbyturningdownbythewheelwright’sorupbythemill.
WhenIwasoldenough,IwastobeapprenticedtoJoe,anduntilIcouldassumethatdignityIwasnottobewhatMrs.Joecalled“Pompeyed,”or(asIrenderit)pampered.
Therefore,Iwasnotonlyodd-boyabouttheforge,butifanyneighbourhappenedtowantanextraboytofrightenbirds,orpickupstones,ordoanysuchjob,Iwasfavouredwiththeemployment.
Inorder,however,thatoursuperiorpositionmightnotbecompromisedthereby,amoney-boxwaskeptonthekitchenmantel-shelf,intowhichitwaspubliclymadeknownthatallmyearningsweredropped.
IhaveanimpressionthattheyweretobecontributedeventuallytowardstheliquidationoftheNationalDebt,butIknowIhadnohopeofanypersonalparticipationinthetreasure.
Mr.Wopsle’sgreat-auntkeptaneveningschoolinthevillage;thatistosay,shewasaridiculousoldwomanoflimitedmeansandunlimitedinfirmity,whousedtogotosleepfromsixtoseveneveryevening,inthesocietyofyouthwhopaidtwopenceperweekeach,fortheimprovingopportunityofseeingherdoit.
Sherentedasmallcottage,andMr.Wopslehadtheroomup-stairs,wherewestudentsusedtooverhearhimreadingaloudinamostdignifiedandterrificmanner,andoccasionallybumpingontheceiling.
TherewasafictionthatMr.Wopsle“examined”thescholars,onceaquarter.
Whathedidonthoseoccasionswastoturnuphiscuffs,stickuphishair,andgiveusMarkAntony’sorationoverthebodyofCaesar.
ThiswasalwaysfollowedbyCollins’sOdeonthePassions,whereinIparticularlyveneratedMr.WopsleasRevenge,throwinghisblood-stainedswordinthunderdown,andtakingtheWar-denouncingtrumpetwithawitheringlook.
Itwasnotwithmethen,asitwasinlaterlife,whenIfellintothesocietyofthePassions,andcomparedthemwithCollinsandWopsle,rathertothedisadvantageofbothgentlemen.
Mr.Wopsle’sgreat-aunt,besideskeepingthisEducationalInstitution,kept—inthesameroom—alittlegeneralshop.
Shehadnoideawhatstockshehad,orwhatthepriceofanythinginitwas;buttherewasalittlegreasymemorandum-bookkeptinadrawer,whichservedasaCatalogueofPrices,andbythisoracleBiddyarrangedalltheshoptransaction.
BiddywasMr.Wopsle’sgreat-aunt’sgranddaughter;Iconfessmyselfquietunequaltotheworkingoutoftheproblem,whatrelationshewastoMr.Wopsle.
Shewasanorphanlikemyself;likeme,too,hadbeenbroughtupbyhand.
Shewasmostnoticeable,Ithought,inrespectofherextremities;for,herhairalwayswantedbrushing,herhandsalwayswantedwashing,andhershoesalwayswantedmendingandpullingupatheel.
Thisdescriptionmustbereceivedwithaweek-daylimitation.
OnSundays,shewenttochurchelaborated.
Muchofmyunassistedself,andmorebythehelpofBiddythanofMr.Wopsle’sgreat-aunt,Istruggledthroughthealphabetasifithadbeenabramble-bush;gettingconsiderablyworriedandscratchedbyeveryletter.
Afterthat,Ifellamongthosethieves,theninefigures,whoseemedeveryeveningtodosomethingnewtodisguisethemselvesandbafflerecognition.
But,atlastIbegan,inapurblindgropingway,toread,write,andcipher,ontheverysmallestscale.
Onenight,Iwassittinginthechimney-cornerwithmyslate,expendinggreateffortsontheproductionofalettertoJoe.
Ithinkitmusthavebeenafullyyearafterourhuntuponthemarshes,foritwasalongtimeafter,anditwaswinterandahardfrost.
Withanalphabetonthehearthatmyfeetforreference,Icontrivedinanhourortwotoprintandsmearthisepistle:
“MIDEERJOiOPEURKRWITEWELLiOPEiSHALSONBHABELL42TEEDGEUJOANTHENWESHORLBSOGLODDANWENiMPRENGTD2UJOWOTLARXANBLEVEMEINFXNPIP.”
TherewasnoindispensablenecessityformycommunicatingwithJoebyletter,inasmuchashesatbesidemeandwewerealone.
But,Ideliveredthiswrittencommunication(slateandall)withmyownhand,andJoereceiveditasamiracleoferudition.
“Isay,Pip,oldchap!”criedJoe,openinghisblueeyeswide,“whatascholaryouare!An’tyou?”
“Ishouldliketobe,”saidI,glancingattheslateasheheldit:withamisgivingthatthewritingwasratherhilly.
“Why,here’saJ,”saidJoe,“andaOequaltoanythink!Here’saJandaO,Pip,andaJ-O,Joe.”
IhadneverheardJoereadaloudtoanygreaterextentthanthismonosyllable,andIhadobservedatchurchlastSundaywhenIaccidentallyheldourPrayer-Bookupsidedown,thatitseemedtosuithisconveniencequiteaswellasifithadbeenallright.
WishingtoembracethepresentoccasionoffindingoutwhetherinteachingJoe,Ishouldhavetobeginquiteatthebeginning,Isaid,“Ah!Butreadtherest,Jo.”
“Therest,eh,Pip?”saidJoe,lookingatitwithaslowlysearchingeye,“One,two,three.Why,here’sthreeJs,andthreeOs,andthreeJ-O,Joesinit,Pip!”
IleanedoverJoe,and,withtheaidofmyforefinger,readhimthewholeletter.
“Astonishing!”saidJoe,whenIhadfinished.“YouAREascholar.”
“HowdoyouspellGargery,Joe?”Iaskedhim,withamodestpatronage.
“Idon’tspellitatall,”saidJoe.
“Butsupposingyoudid?”
“Itcan’tbesupposed,”saidJoe.“Tho’I’moncommonfondofreading,too.”
“Areyou,Joe?”
“On-common.Giveme,”saidJoe,“agoodbook,oragoodnewspaper,andsitmedownaforeagoodfire,andIasknobetter.Lord!”
hecontinued,afterrubbinghiskneesalittle,“whenyoudocometoaJandaO,andsaysyou,“Here,atlast,isaJ-O,Joe,”howinterestingreadingis!”
Iderivedfromthislast,thatJoe’seducation,likeSteam,wasyetinitsinfancy,Pursuingthesubject,Iinquired:
“Didn’tyouevergotoschool,Joe,whenyouwereaslittleasme?”
“No,Pip.”
“Whydidn’tyouevergotoschool,Joe,whenyouwereaslittleasme?”
“Well,Pip,”saidJoe,takingupthepoker,andsettlinghimselftohisusualoccupationwhenhewasthoughtful,ofslowlyrakingthefirebetweenthelowerbars:“I’lltellyou.
Myfather,Pip,heweregiventodrink,andwhenhewereovertookwithdrink,hehammeredawayatmymother,mostonmerciful.
Itwerea’mosttheonlyhammeringhedid,indeed,‘xceptingatmyself.
Andhehammeredatmewithawigouronlytobeequalledbythewigourwithwhichhedidn’thammerathisanwil.
—You’rea-listeningandunderstanding,Pip?”
“Yes,Joe.”
”’Consequence,mymotherandmeweranawayfrommyfather,severaltimes;andthenmymothershe’dgoouttowork,andshe’dsay,“Joe,”she’dsay,“now,pleaseGod,youshallhavesomeschooling,child,”andshe’dputmetoschool.
Butmyfatherwerethatgoodinhishartthathecouldn’tabeartobewithoutus.
So,he’dcomewithamosttremenjouscrowdandmakesucharowatthedoorsofthehouseswherewewas,thattheyusedtobeobligatedtohavenomoretodowithusandtogiveusuptohim.
Andthenhetookushomeandhammeredus.
Which,yousee,Pip,”saidJoe,pausinginhismeditativerakingofthefire,andlookingatme,“wereadrawbackonmylearning.”
“Certainly,poorJoe!”
“Thoughmindyou,Pip,”saidJoe,withajudicialtouchortwoofthepokeronthetopbar,“renderinguntoalltheirdoo,andmaintainingequaljusticebetwixtmanandman,myfatherwerethatgoodinhishart,don’tyousee?”
Ididn’tsee;butIdidn’tsayso.
“Well!”Joepursued,“somebodymustkeepthepotabiling,Pip,orthepotwon’tbile,don’tyouknow?”
Isawthat,andsaidso.
”’Consequence,myfatherdidn’tmakeobjectionstomygoingtowork;soIwenttoworktoworkatmypresentcalling,whichwerehistoo,ifhewouldhavefollowedit,andIworkedtolerablehard,Iassureyou,Pip.
IntimeIwereabletokeephim,andIkepthimtillhewentoffinapurplelepticfit.
AnditweremyintentionstohavehadputuponhistombstonethatWhatsume’erthefailingsonhispart,Rememberreaderhewerethatgoodinhishart.”
Joerecitedthiscoupletwithsuchmanifestprideandcarefulperspicuity,thatIaskedhimifhehadmadeithimself.
“Imadeit,”saidJoe,“myownself.Imadeitinamoment.
Itwaslikestrikingoutahorseshoecomplete,inasingleblow.
Ineverwassomuchsurprisedinallmylife—couldn’tcreditmyowned—totellyouthetruth,hardlybelieveditweremyowned.
AsIwassaying,Pip,itweremyintentionstohavehaditcutoverhim;butpoetrycostsmoney,cutithowyouwill,smallorlarge,anditwerenotdone.
Nottomentionbearers,allthemoneythatcouldbesparedwerewantedformymother.Shewereinpoorelth,andquitebroke.
Sheweren’tlongoffollowing,poorsoul,andhershareofpeacecomeroundatlast.”
Joe’sblueeyesturnedalittlewatery;herubbed,firstoneofthem,andthentheother,inamostuncongenialanduncomfortablemanner,withtheroundknobonthetopofthepoker.
“Itwerebutlonesomethen,”saidJoe,“livingherealone,andIgotacquaintedwithyoursister.
Now,Pip;”Joelookedfirmlyatme,asifheknewIwasnotgoingtoagreewithhim;“yoursisterisafinefigureofawoman.”
Icouldnothelplookingatthefire,inanobviousstateofdoubt.
“Whateverfamilyopinions,orwhatevertheworld’sopinions,onthatsubjectmaybe,Pip,yoursisteris,”Joetappedthetopbarwiththepokeraftereverywordfollowing,“a—fine—figure—of—a—woman!”
Icouldthinkofnothingbettertosaythan“Iamgladyouthinkso,Joe.”
“SoamI,”returnedJoe,catchingmeup.“IamgladIthinkso,Pip.AlittlerednessoralittlematterofBone,hereorthere,whatdoesitsignifytoMe?”
Isagaciouslyobserved,ifitdidn’tsignifytohim,towhomdiditsignify?
“Certainly!”assentedJoe.“That’sit.You’reright,oldchap!
WhenIgotacquaintedwithyoursister,itwerethetalkhowshewasbringingyouupbyhand.
Verykindofhertoo,allthefolkssaid,andIsaid,alongwithallthefolks.
Astoyou,”Joepursuedwithacountenanceexpressiveofseeingsomethingverynastyindeed:“ifyoucouldhavebeenawarehowsmallandflabbyandmeanyouwas,dearme,you’dhaveformedthemostcontemptibleopinionofyourself!”
Notexactlyrelishingthis,Isaid,“Nevermindme,Joe.”
“ButIdidmindyou,Pip,”hereturnedwithtendersimplicity.
“WhenIofferedtoyoursistertokeepcompany,andtobeaskedinchurchatsuchtimesasshewaswillingandreadytocometotheforge,Isaidtoher,‘Andbringthepoorlittlechild.
Godblessthepoorlittlechild,’Isaidtoyoursister,‘there’sroomforhimattheforge!’”
Ibrokeoutcryingandbeggingpardon,andhuggedJoeroundtheneck:whodroppedthepokertohugme,andtosay,“Everthebestoffriends;an’tus,Pip?Don’tcry,oldchap!”
Whenthislittleinterruptionwasover,Joeresumed:
“Well,yousee,Pip,andhereweare!That’saboutwhereitlights;hereweare!
Now,whenyoutakemeinhandinmylearning,Pip(andItellyoubeforehandIamawfuldull,mostawfuldull),Mrs.Joemustn’tseetoomuchofwhatwe’reupto.
Itmustbedone,asImaysay,onthesly.Andwhyonthesly?I’lltellyouwhy,Pip.”
Hehadtakenupthepokeragain;withoutwhich,Idoubtifhecouldhaveproceededinhisdemonstration.
“Yoursisterisgiventogovernment.”
“Giventogovernment,Joe?”Iwasstartled,forIhadsomeshadowyidea(andIamafraidImustadd,hope)thatJoehaddivorcedherinafavouroftheLordsoftheAdmiralty,orTreasury.
“Giventogovernment,”saidJoe.“WhichImeantersaythegovernmentofyouandmyself.”
“Oh!”
“Andshean’toverpartialtohavingscholarsonthepremises,”Joecontinued,“andinparticklerwouldnotbeoverpartialtomybeingascholar,forfearasImightrise.Likeasortorrebel,don’tyousee?”
Iwasgoingtoretortwithaninquiry,andhadgotasfaras“Why—”whenJoestoppedme.
“Stayabit.Iknowwhatyou’rea-goingtosay,Pip;stayabit!
Idon’tdenythatyoursistercomestheMo-guloverus,nowandagain.
Idon’tdenythatshedothrowusback-falls,andthatshedodropdownuponusheavy.
AtsuchtimesaswhenyoursisterisontheRam-page,Pip,”Joesankhisvoicetoawhisperandglancedatthedoor,“candourcompelsfurtoadmitthatsheisaBuster.”
Joepronouncedthisword,asifitbeganwithatleasttwelvecapitalBs.
“Whydon’tIrise?ThatwereyourobservationwhenIbrokeitoff,Pip?”
“Yes,Joe.”
“Well,”saidJoe,passingthepokerintohislefthand,thathemightfeelhiswhisker;andIhadnohopeofhimwheneverhetooktothatplacidoccupation;“yoursister’samaster-mind.Amaster-mind.”
“What’sthat?”Iasked,insomehopeofbringinghimtoastand.
But,JoewasreadierwithhisdefinitionthanIhadexpected,andcompletelystoppedmebyarguingcircularly,andansweringwithafixedlook,“Her.”
“AndIan’tamaster-mind,”Joeresumed,whenhehadunfixedhislook,andgotbacktohiswhisker.
“Andlastofall,Pip—andthisIwanttosayveryserioustoyou,oldchap—Iseesomuchinmypoormother,ofawomandrudgingandslavingandbreakingherhonesthartandnevergettingnopeaceinhermortaldays,thatI’mdeadafeerdofgoingwronginthewayofnotdoingwhat’srightbyawoman,andI’dfurratherofthetwogowrongthet’otherway,andbealittleill-conweniencedmyself.
Iwishitwasonlymethatgotputout,Pip;Iwishtherewarn’tnoTicklerforyou,oldchap;IwishIcouldtakeitallonmyself;butthisistheup-and-down-and-straightonit,Pip,andIhopeyou’lloverlookshortcomings.”
YoungasIwas,IbelievethatIdatedanewadmirationofJoefromthatnight.
Wewereequalsafterwards,aswehadbeenbefore;but,afterwardsatquiettimeswhenIsatlookingatJoeandthinkingabouthim,IhadanewsensationoffeelingconsciousthatIwaslookinguptoJoeinmyheart.
“However,”saidJoe,risingtoreplenishthefire;“here’stheDutch-clockaworkinghimselfuptobeingequaltostrikeEightof‘em,andshe’snotcomehomeyet!
IhopeUnclePumblechook’smaremayn’thavesetafore-footonapieceo’ice,andgonedown.”
Mrs.JoemadeoccasionaltripswithUnclePumblechookonmarket-days,toassisthiminbuyingsuchhouseholdstuffsandgoodsasrequiredawoman’sjudgment;UnclePumblechookbeingabachelorandreposingnoconfidencesinhisdomesticservant.
Thiswasmarket-day,andMrs.Joewasoutononeoftheseexpeditions.
Joemadethefireandsweptthehearth,andthenwewenttothedoortolistenforthechaise-cart.
Itwasadrycoldnight,andthewindblewkeenly,andthefrostwaswhiteandhard.
Amanwoulddieto-nightoflyingoutonthemarshes,Ithought.
AndthenIlookedatthestars,andconsideredhowawfulifwouldbeforamantoturnhisfaceuptothemashefrozetodeath,andseenohelporpityinalltheglitteringmultitude.
“Herecomesthemare,”saidJoe,“ringinglikeapealofbells!”
Thesoundofherironshoesuponthehardroadwasquitemusical,asshecamealongatamuchbriskertrotthanusual.
Wegotachairout,readyforMrs.Joe’salighting,andstirredupthefirethattheymightseeabrightwindow,andtookafinalsurveyofthekitchenthatnothingmightbeoutofitsplace.
Whenwehadcompletedthesepreparations,theydroveup,wrappedtotheeyes.
Mrs.Joewassoonlanded,andUnclePumblechookwassoondowntoo,coveringthemarewithacloth,andweweresoonallinthekitchen,carryingsomuchcoldairinwithusthatitseemedtodrivealltheheatoutofthefire.
“Now,”saidMrs.Joe,unwrappingherselfwithhasteandexcitement,andthrowingherbonnetbackonhershoulderswhereithungbythestrings:“ifthisboyan’tgratefulthisnight,heneverwillbe!”
Ilookedasgratefulasanyboypossiblycould,whowaswhollyuninformedwhyheoughttoassumethatexpression.
“It’sonlytobehoped,”saidmysister,“thathewon’tbePomp-eyed.ButIhavemyfears.”
“Shean’tinthatline,Mum,”saidMr.Pumblechook.“Sheknowsbetter.”
She?IlookedatJoe,makingthemotionwithmylipsandeyebrows,“She?”
Joelookedatme,makingthemotionwithhislipsandeyebrows,“She?”
Mysistercatchinghimintheact,hedrewthebackofhishandacrosshisnosewithhisusualconciliatoryaironsuchoccasions,andlookedather.
“Well?”saidmysister,inhersnappishway.“Whatareyoustaringat?Isthehousea-fire?”
”—Whichsomeindividual,”Joepolitelyhinted,“mentioned—she.”
“Andsheisashe,Isuppose?”saidmysister.“UnlessyoucallMissHavishamahe.AndIdoubtifevenyou’llgosofarasthat.”
“MissHavisham,uptown?”saidJoe.
“IsthereanyMissHavishamdowntown?”returnedmysister.
“Shewantsthisboytogoandplaythere.Andofcoursehe’sgoing.
Andhehadbetterplaythere,”saidmysister,shakingherheadatmeasanencouragementtobeextremelylightandsportive,“orI’llworkhim.”
IhadheardofMissHavishamuptown—everybodyformilesround,hadheardofMissHavishamuptown—asanimmenselyrichandgrimladywholivedinalargeanddismalhousebarricadedagainstrobbers,andwholedalifeofseclusion.
“Welltobesure!”saidJoe,astounded.“IwonderhowshecometoknowPip!”
“Noodle!”criedmysister.“Whosaidsheknewhim?”
”—Whichsomeindividual,”Joeagainpolitelyhinted,“mentionedthatshewantedhimtogoandplaythere.”
“Andcouldn’tsheaskUnclePumblechookifheknewofaboytogoandplaythere?
Isn’titjustbarelypossiblethatUnclePumblechookmaybeatenantofhers,andthathemaysometimes—wewon’tsayquarterlyorhalf-yearly,forthatwouldberequiringtoomuchofyou—butsometimes—gotheretopayhisrent?
Andcouldn’tshethenaskUnclePumblechookifheknewofaboytogoandplaythere?
Andcouldn’tUnclePumblechook,beingalwaysconsiderateandthoughtfulforus—thoughyoumaynotthinkit,Joseph,”inatoneofthedeepestreproach,asifhewerethemostcallousofnephews,“thenmentionthisboy,standingPrancinghere”—whichIsolemnlydeclareIwasnotdoing—”thatIhaveforeverbeenawillingslaveto?”
“Goodagain!”criedUnclePumblechook.“Wellput!Prettilypointed!Goodindeed!NowJoseph,youknowthecase.”
“No,Joseph,”saidmysister,stillinareproachfulmanner,whileJoeapologeticallydrewthebackofhishandacrossandacrosshisnose,“youdonotyet—thoughyoumaynotthinkit—knowthecase.
Youmayconsiderthatyoudo,butyoudonot,Joseph.
ForyoudonotknowthatUnclePumblechook,beingsensiblethatforanythingwecantell,thisboy’sfortunemaybemadebyhisgoingtoMissHavisham’s,hasofferedtotakehimintotownto-nightinhisownchaise-cart,andtokeephimto-night,andtotakehimwithhisownhandstoMissHavisham’sto-morrowmorning.AndLor-a-mussyme!”
criedmysister,castingoffherbonnetinsuddendesperation,“hereIstandtalkingtomereMooncalfs,withUnclePumblechookwaiting,andthemarecatchingcoldatthedoor,andtheboygrimedwithcrockanddirtfromthehairofhisheadtothesoleofhisfoot!”
Withthat,shepounceduponme,likeaneagleonalamb,andmyfacewassqueezedintowoodenbowlsinsinks,andmyheadwasputundertapsofwater-butts,andIwassoaped,andkneaded,andtowelled,andthumped,andharrowed,andrasped,untilIreallywasquitebesidemyself.
(ImayhereremarkthatIsupposemyselftobebetteracquaintedthananylivingauthority,withtheridgyeffectofawedding-ring,passingunsympatheticallyoverthehumancountenance.)
Whenmyablutionswerecompleted,Iwasputintocleanlinenofthestiffestcharacter,likeayoungpenitentintosackcloth,andwastrussedupinmytightestandfearfullestsuit.
IwasthendeliveredovertoMr.Pumblechook,whoformallyreceivedmeasifheweretheSheriff,andwholetoffuponmethespeechthatIknewhehadbeendyingtomakeallalong:“Boy,beforevergratefultoallfriends,butespeciallyuntothemwhichbroughtyouupbyhand!”
“Good-bye,Joe!”
“Godblessyou,Pip,oldchap!”
Ihadneverpartedfromhimbefore,andwhatwithmyfeelingsandwhatwithsoap-suds,Icouldatfirstseenostarsfromthechaise-cart.
Buttheytwinkledoutonebyone,withoutthrowinganylightonthequestionswhyonearthIwasgoingtoplayatMissHavisham’s,andwhatonearthIwasexpectedtoplayat.
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