English
Ethanwentoutintothepassagetohanguphiswetgarments.
HelistenedforZeena’sstepand,nothearingit,calledhernameupthestairs.
Shedidnotanswer,andafteramoment’shesitationhewentupandopenedherdoor.
Theroomwasalmostdark,butintheobscurityhesawhersittingbythewindow,boltupright,andknewbytherigidityoftheoutlineprojectedagainstthepanethatshehadnottakenoffhertravellingdress.
“Well,Zeena,”heventuredfromthethreshold.
Shedidnotmove,andhecontinued:“Supper’saboutready.Ain’tyoucoming?”
Shereplied:“Idon’tfeelasifIcouldtouchamorsel.”
Itwastheconsecratedformula,andheexpectedittobefollowed,asusual,byherrisingandgoingdowntosupper.
Butsheremainedseated,andhecouldthinkofnothingmorefelicitousthan:“Ipresumeyou’retiredafterthelongride.”
Turningherheadatthis,sheansweredsolemnly:“I’magreatdealsickerthanyouthink.”
Herwordsfellonhisearwithastrangeshockofwonder.Hehadoftenheardherpronouncethembefore-whatifatlasttheyweretrue?
Headvancedasteportwointothedimroom.“Ihopethat’snotso,Zeena,”hesaid.
Shecontinuedtogazeathimthroughthetwilightwithamienofwanauthority,asofoneconsciouslysingledoutforagreatfate.“I’vegotcomplications,”shesaid.
Ethanknewthewordforoneofexceptionalimport.
Almosteverybodyintheneighbourhoodhad“troubles,”franklylocalizedandspecified;butonlythechosenhad“complications.”
Tohavethemwasinitselfadistinction,thoughitwasalso,inmostcases,adeath-warrant.
Peoplestruggledonforyearswith“troubles,”buttheyalmostalwayssuccumbedto“complications.”
Ethan’sheartwasjerkingtoandfrobetweentwoextremitiesoffeeling,butforthemomentcompassionprevailed.Hiswifelookedsohardandlonely,sittingthereinthedarknesswithsuchthoughts.
“Isthatwhatthenewdoctortoldyou?”heasked,instinctivelyloweringhisvoice.
“Yes.Hesaysanyregulardoctorwouldwantmetohaveanoperation.”
Ethanwasawarethat,inregardtotheimportantquestionofsurgicalintervention,thefemaleopinionoftheneighbourhoodwasdivided,somegloryingintheprestigeconferredbyoperationswhileothersshunnedthemasindelicate.
Ethan,frommotivesofeconomy,hadalwaysbeengladthatZeenawasofthelatterfaction.
Intheagitationcausedbythegravityofherannouncementhesoughtaconsolatoryshortcut.“Whatdoyouknowaboutthisdoctoranyway?Nobodyevertoldyouthatbefore.”
Hesawhisblunderbeforeshecouldtakeitup:shewantedsympathy,notconsolation.
“Ididn’tneedtohaveanybodytellmeIwaslosinggroundeveryday.Everybodybutyoucouldseeit.
AndeverybodyinBettsbridgeknowsaboutDr.Buck.
HehashisofficeinWorcester,andcomesoveronceafortnighttoShadd’sFallsandBettsbridgeforconsultations.
ElizaSpearswaswastingawaywithkidneytroublebeforeshewenttohim,andnowshe’supandaround,andsinginginthechoir.”
“Well,I’mgladofthat.Youmustdojustwhathetellsyou,”Ethanansweredsympathetically.
Shewasstilllookingathim.“Imeanto,”shesaid.Hewasstruckbyanewnoteinhervoice.Itwasneitherwhiningnorreproachful,butdrilyresolute.
“Whatdoeshewantyoushoulddo?”heasked,withamountingvisionoffreshexpenses.
“HewantsIshouldhaveahiredgirl.HesaysIoughtn’ttohavetodoasinglethingaroundthehouse.”
“Ahiredgirl?”Ethanstoodtransfixed.
“Yes.AndAuntMarthafoundmeonerightoff.EverybodysaidIwasluckytogetagirltocomeawayouthere,andIagreedtogiveheradollarextrytomakesure.She’llbeoverto-morrowafternoon.”
WrathanddismaycontendedinEthan.Hehadforeseenanimmediatedemandformoney,butnotapermanentdrainonhisscantresources.
HenolongerbelievedwhatZeenahadtoldhimofthesupposedseriousnessofherstate:hesawinherexpeditiontoBettsbridgeonlyaplothatchedbetweenherselfandherPiercerelationstofoistonhimthecostofaservant;andforthemomentwrathpredominated.
“Ifyoumeanttoengageagirlyououghttohavetoldmebeforeyoustarted,”hesaid.
“HowcouldItellyoubeforeIstarted?HowdidIknowwhatDr.Buckwouldsay?”
“Oh,Dr.Buck-”Ethan’sincredulityescapedinashortlaugh.“DidDr.BucktellyouhowIwastopayherwages?”
Hervoicerosefuriouslywithhis.“No,hedidn’t.ForI’d‘a’beenashamedtotellhimthatyougrudgedmethemoneytogetbackmyhealth,whenIlostitnursingyourownmother!”
“Youlostyourhealthnursingmother?”
“Yes;andmyfolksalltoldmeatthetimeyoucouldn’tdonolessthanmarrymeafter-”
“Zeena!”
Throughtheobscuritywhichhidtheirfacestheirthoughtsseemedtodartateachotherlikeserpentsshootingvenom.
Ethanwasseizedwithhorrorofthesceneandshameathisownshareinit.
Itwasassenselessandsavageasaphysicalfightbetweentwoenemiesinthedarkness.
Heturnedtotheshelfabovethechimney,gropedformatchesandlittheonecandleintheroom.
Atfirstitsweakflamemadenoimpressionontheshadows;thenZeena’sfacestoodgrimlyoutagainsttheuncurtainedpane,whichhadturnedfromgreytoblack.
Itwasthefirstsceneofopenangerbetweenthecoupleintheirsadsevenyearstogether,andEthanfeltasifhehadlostanirretrievableadvantageindescendingtothelevelofrecrimination.
Butthepracticalproblemwasthereandhadtobedealtwith.
“YouknowIhaven’tgotthemoneytopayforagirl,Zeena.You’llhavetosendherback:Ican’tdoit.”
“Thedoctorsaysit’llbemydeathifIgoonslavingthewayI’vehadto.Hedoesn’tunderstandhowI’vestooditaslongasIhave.”
“Slaving!”Hecheckedhimselfagain,“Yousha’n’tliftahand,ifhesaysso.I’lldoeverythingroundthehousemyself“
Shebrokein:“You’reneglectingthefarmenoughalready,”andthisbeingtrue,hefoundnoanswer,andlefthertimetoaddironically:“Bettersendmeovertothealmshouseanddonewithit…Iguessthere’sbeenFromesthereaforenow.”
Thetauntburnedintohim,butheletitpass.“Ihaven’tgotthemoney.Thatsettlesit.”
Therewasamoment’spauseinthestruggle,asthoughthecombatantsweretestingtheirweapons.
ThenZeenasaidinalevelvoice:“IthoughtyouweretogetfiftydollarsfromAndrewHaleforthatlumber.”
“AndrewHaleneverpaysunderthreemonths.”
Hehadhardlyspokenwhenherememberedtheexcusehehadmadefornotaccompanyinghiswifetothestationthedaybefore;andthebloodrosetohisfrowningbrows.
“Why,youtoldmeyesterdayyou’dfixeditupwithhimtopaycashdown.Yousaidthatwaswhyyoucouldn’tdrivemeovertotheFlats.”
Ethanhadnosupplenessindeceiving.Hehadneverbeforebeenconvictedofalie,andalltheresourcesofevasionfailedhim.“Iguessthatwasamisunderstanding,”hestammered.
“Youain’tgotthemoney?”
“No.”
“Andyouain’tgoingtogetit?”
“No.”
“Well,Icouldn’tknowthatwhenIengagedthegirl,couldI?”
“No.”Hepausedtocontrolhisvoice.“Butyouknowitnow.I’msorry,butitcan’tbehelped.You’reapoorman’swife,Zeena;butI’lldothebestIcanforyou.”
Forawhileshesatmotionless,asifreflecting,herarmsstretchedalongthearmsofherchair,hereyesfixedonvacancy.“Oh,Iguesswe’llmakeout,”shesaidmildly.
Thechangeinhertonereassuredhim.“Ofcoursewewill!There’sawholelotmoreIcandoforyou,andMattie-”
Zeena,whilehespoke,seemedtobefollowingoutsomeelaboratementalcalculation.Sheemergedfromittosay:“There’llbeMattie’sboardless,anyhow-”
Ethan,supposingthediscussiontobeover,hadturnedtogodowntosupper.Hestoppedshort,notgraspingwhatheheard.“Mattie’sboardless-?”hebegan.
Zeenalaughed.Itwasonoddunfamiliarsound-hedidnotremembereverhavingheardherlaughbefore.
“Youdidn’tsupposeIwasgoingtokeeptwogirls,didyou?
Nowonderyouwerescaredattheexpense!”
Hestillhadbutaconfusedsenseofwhatshewassaying.
FromthebeginningofthediscussionhehadinstinctivelyavoidedthementionofMattie’sname,fearinghehardlyknewwhat:criticism,complaints,orvagueallusionstotheimminentprobabilityofhermarrying.
Butthethoughtofadefiniterupturehadnevercometohim,andevennowcouldnotlodgeitselfinhismind.
“Idon’tknowwhatyoumean,”hesaid.“MattieSilver’snotahiredgirl.She’syourrelation.”
“She’sapauperthat’shungontousallafterherfather’ddonehisbesttoruinus.I’vekep’herhereawholeyear:it’ssomebodyelse’sturnnow.”
AstheshrillwordsshotoutEthanheardataponthedoor,whichhehaddrawnshutwhenheturnedbackfromthethreshold.
“Ethan-Zeena!”Mattie’svoicesoundedgailyfromthelanding,“doyouknowwhattimeitis?Supper’sbeenreadyhalfanhour.”
Insidetheroomtherewasamoment’ssilence;thenZeenacalledoutfromherseat:“I’mnotcomingdowntosupper.”
“Oh,I’msorry!Aren’tyouwell?Sha’n’tIbringyouupabiteofsomething?”
Ethanrousedhimselfwithaneffortandopenedthedoor.“Goalongdown,Matt.Zeena’sjustalittletired.I’mcoming.”
Heheardher“Allright!”andherquicksteponthestairs;thenheshutthedoorandturnedbackintotheroom.
Hiswife’sattitudewasunchanged,herfaceinexorable,andhewasseizedwiththedespairingsenseofhishelplessness.
“Youain’tgoingtodoit,Zeena?”
“Dowhat?”sheemittedbetweenflattenedlips.
“SendMattieaway-likethis?”
“Ineverbargainedtotakeherforlife!”
Hecontinuedwithrisingvehemence:“Youcan’tputheroutofthehouselikeathief-apoorgirlwithoutfriendsormoney.
She’sdoneherbestforyouandshe’sgotnoplacetogoto.
Youmayforgetshe’syourkinbuteverybodyelse’llrememberit.
Ifyoudoathinglikethatwhatdoyousupposefolks’llsayofyou?”
Zeenawaitedamoment,asifgivinghimtimetofeelthefullforceofthecontrastbetweenhisownexcitementandhercomposure.
Thensherepliedinthesamesmoothvoice:“Iknowwellenoughwhattheysayofmyhavingkep’herhereaslongasIhave.”
Ethan’shanddroppedfromthedoor-knob,whichhehadheldclenchedsincehehaddrawnthedoorshutonMattie.
Hiswife’sretortwaslikeaknife-cutacrossthesinewsandhefeltsuddenlyweakandpowerless.
Hehadmeanttohumblehimself,toarguethatMattie’skeepdidn’tcostmuch,afterall,thathecouldmakeouttobuyastoveandfixupaplaceintheatticforthehiredgirl-butZeena’swordsrevealedtheperilofsuchpleadings.
“Youmeantotellhershe’sgottogo-atonce?”hefalteredout,interroroflettinghiswifecompletehersentence.
Asiftryingtomakehimseereasonsherepliedimpartially:“ThegirlwillbeoverfromBettsbridgeto-morrow,andIpresumeshe’sgottohavesomewherestosleep.”
Ethanlookedatherwithloathing.Shewasnolongerthelistlesscreaturewhohadlivedathissideinastateofsullenself-absorption,butamysteriousalienpresence,anevilenergysecretedfromthelongyearsofsilentbrooding.
Itwasthesenseofhishelplessnessthatsharpenedhisantipathy.
Therehadneverbeenanythinginherthatonecouldappealto;butaslongashecouldignoreandcommandhehadremainedindifferent.
Nowshehadmasteredhimandheabhorredher.
Mattiewasherrelation,nothis:therewerenomeansbywhichhecouldcompelhertokeepthegirlunderherroof.
Allthelongmiseryofhisbaffledpast,ofhisyouthoffailure,hardshipandvaineffort,roseupinhissoulinbitternessandseemedtotakeshapebeforehiminthewomanwhoateveryturnhadbarredhisway.
Shehadtakeneverythingelsefromhim;andnowshemeanttotaketheonethingthatmadeupforalltheothers.
Foramomentsuchaflameofhateroseinhimthatitrandownhisarmandclenchedhisfistagainsther.
Hetookawildstepforwardandthenstopped.
“You’re-you’renotcomingdown?”hesaidinabewilderedvoice.
“No.IguessI’lllaydownonthebedalittlewhile,”sheansweredmildly;andheturnedandwalkedoutoftheroom.
InthekitchenMattiewassittingbythestove,thecatcurleduponherknees.ShesprangtoherfeetasEthanenteredandcarriedthecovereddishofmeat-pietothetable.
“IhopeZeenaisn’tsick?”sheasked.
“No.”
Sheshoneathimacrossthetable.“Well,sitrightdownthen.Youmustbestarving.”
Sheuncoveredthepieandpusheditovertohim.
Sotheyweretohaveonemoreeveningtogether,herhappyeyesseemedtosay!
Hehelpedhimselfmechanicallyandbegantoeat;thendisgusttookhimbythethroatandhelaiddownhisfork.
Mattie’stendergazewasonhimandshemarkedthegesture.
“Why,Ethan,what’sthematter?Don’tittasteright?”
“Yes-it’sfirst-rate.OnlyI-”Hepushedhisplateaway,rosefromhischair,andwalkedaroundthetabletoherside.Shestartedupwithfrightenedeyes.
“Ethan,there’ssomethingwrong!Iknewtherewas!”
Sheseemedtomeltagainsthiminherterror,andhecaughtherinhisarms,heldherfastthere,feltherlashesbeathischeeklikenettedbutterflies.
“Whatisit-whatisit?”shestammered;buthehadfoundherlipsatlastandwasdrinkingunconsciousnessofeverythingbutthejoytheygavehim.
Shelingeredamoment,caughtinthesamestrongcurrent;thensheslippedfromhimanddrewbackasteportwo,paleandtroubled.
Herlooksmotehimwithcompunction,andhecriedout,asifhesawherdrowninginadream:“Youcan’tgo,Matt!I’llneverletyou!”
“Go-go?”shestammered.“MustIgo?”
Thewordswentonsoundingbetweenthemasthoughatorchofwarningflewfromhandtohandthroughablacklandscape.
Ethanwasovercomewithshameathislackofself-controlinflingingthenewsathersobrutally.
Hisheadreeledandhehadtosupporthimselfagainstthetable.
Allthewhilehefeltasifhewerestillkissingher,andyetdyingofthirstforherlips.
“Ethan,whathashappened?IsZeenamadwithme?”
Hercrysteadiedhim,thoughitdeepenedhiswrathandpity.
“No,no,”heassuredher,“it’snotthat.
Butthisnewdoctorhasscaredheraboutherself.
Youknowshebelievesalltheysaythefirsttimesheseesthem.
Andthisone’stoldhershewon’tgetwellunlessshelaysupanddon’tdoathingaboutthehouse-notformonths-”
Hepaused,hiseyeswanderingfromhermiserably.
Shestoodsilentamoment,droopingbeforehimlikeabrokenbranch.
Shewassosmallandweak-lookingthatitwrunghisheart;butsuddenlysheliftedherheadandlookedstraightathim.
“Andshewantssomebodyhandierinmyplace?Isthatit?”
“That’swhatshesaysto-night.”
“Ifshesaysitto-nightshe’llsayitto-morrow.”
Bothbowedtotheinexorabletruth:theyknewthatZeenaneverchangedhermind,andthatinhercasearesolveoncetakenwasequivalenttoanactperformed.
Therewasalongsilencebetweenthem;thenMattiesaidinalowvoice:“Don’tbetoosorry,Ethan.”
“Oh,God-oh,God,”hegroaned.Theglowofpassionhehadfeltforherhadmeltedtoanachingtenderness.
Hesawherquicklidsbeatingbackthetears,andlongedtotakeherinhisarmsandsootheher.
“You’relettingyoursuppergetcold,”sheadmonishedhimwithapalegleamofgaiety.
“Oh,Matt-Matt-where’llyougoto?”
Herlidssankandatremorcrossedherface.
Hesawthatforthefirsttimethethoughtofthefuturecametoherdistinctly.
“ImightgetsomethingtodooveratStamford,”shefaltered,asifknowingthatheknewshehadnohope.
Hedroppedbackintohisseatandhidhisfaceinhishands.
Despairseizedhimatthethoughtofhersettingoutalonetorenewthewearyquestforwork.
Intheonlyplacewhereshewasknownshewassurroundedbyindifferenceoranimosity;andwhatchancehadshe,inexperiencedanduntrained,amongthemillionbread-seekersofthecities?
TherecamebacktohimmiserabletaleshehadheardatWorcester,andthefacesofgirlswhoseliveshadbegunashopefullyasMattie’s….
Itwasnotpossibletothinkofsuchthingswithoutarevoltofhiswholebeing.Hesprangupsuddenly.
“Youcan’tgo,Matt!Iwon’tletyou!She’salwayshadherway,butImeantohaveminenow-”
Mattieliftedherhandwithaquickgesture,andheheardhiswife’sstepbehindhim.
Zeenacameintotheroomwithherdraggingdown-at-the-heelstep,andquietlytookheraccustomedseatbetweenthem.
“Ifeltalittlemitebetter,andDr.BucksaysIoughttoeatallIcantokeepmystrengthup,evenifIain’tgotanyappetite,”shesaidinherflatwhine,reachingacrossMattiefortheteapot.
Her“good”dresshadbeenreplacedbytheblackcalicoandbrownknittedshawlwhichformedherdailywear,andwiththemshehadputonherusualfaceandmanner.
Shepouredouthertea,addedagreatdealofmilktoit,helpedherselflargelytopieandpickles,andmadethefamiliargestureofadjustingherfalseteethbeforeshebegantoeat.
Thecatrubbeditselfingratiatinglyagainsther,andshesaid“GoodPussy,”stoopedtostrokeitandgaveitascrapofmeatfromherplate.
Ethansatspeechless,notpretendingtoeat,butMattienibbledvaliantlyatherfoodandaskedZeenaoneortwoquestionsabouthervisittoBettsbridge.
Zeenaansweredinherevery-daytoneand,warmingtothetheme,regaledthemwithseveralvividdescriptionsofintestinaldisturbancesamongherfriendsandrelatives.
ShelookedstraightatMattieasshespoke,afaintsmiledeepeningtheverticallinesbetweenhernoseandchin.
Whensupperwasoversherosefromherseatandpressedherhandtotheflatsurfaceovertheregionofherheart.
“Thatpieofyoursalwayssetsamiteheavy,Matt,”shesaid,notill-naturedly.
Sheseldomabbreviatedthegirl’sname,andwhenshedidsoitwasalwaysasignofaffability.
“I’veagoodmindtogoandhuntupthosestomachpowdersIgotlastyearoverinSpringfield,”shecontinued.“Iain’ttriedthemforquiteawhile,andmaybethey’llhelptheheartburn.”
Mattieliftedhereyes.“Can’tIgetthemforyou,Zeena?”sheventured.
“No.They’reinaplaceyoudon’tknowabout,”Zeenaanswereddarkly,withoneofhersecretlooks.
ShewentoutofthekitchenandMattie,rising,begantoclearthedishesfromthetable.
AsshepassedEthan’schairtheireyesmetandclungtogetherdesolately.
Thewarmstillkitchenlookedaspeacefulasthenightbefore.
ThecathadsprungtoZeena’srocking-chair,andtheheatofthefirewasbeginningtodrawoutthefaintsharpscentofthegeraniums.
Ethandraggedhimselfwearilytohisfeet.
“I’llgooutandtakealookaround,”hesaid,goingtowardthepassagetogethislantern.
AshereachedthedoorhemetZeenacomingbackintotheroom,herlipstwitchingwithanger,aflushofexcitementonhersallowface.
Theshawlhadslippedfromhershouldersandwasdraggingatherdown-troddenheels,andinherhandsshecarriedthefragmentsoftheredglasspickle-dish.
“I’dliketoknowwhodonethis,”shesaid,lookingsternlyfromEthantoMattie.
Therewasnoanswer,andshecontinuedinatremblingvoice:“IwenttogetthosepowdersI’dputawayinfather’soldspectacle-case,topofthechina-closet,whereIkeepthethingsIsetstoreby,so’sfolksshan’tmeddlewiththem-”Hervoicebroke,andtwosmalltearshungonherlashlesslidsandranslowlydownhercheeks.
“Ittakesthestepladdertogetatthetopshelf,andIputAuntPhiluraMaple’spickle-dishupthereo’purposewhenwewasmarried,andit’sneverbeendownsince,‘ceptforthespringcleaning,andthenIalwayslifteditwithmyownhands,so’s‘tshouldn’tgetbroke.”
Shelaidthefragmentsreverentlyonthetable.
“Iwanttoknowwhodonethis,”shequavered.
AtthechallengeEthanturnedbackintotheroomandfacedher.“Icantellyou,then.Thecatdoneit.”
“Thecat?”
“That’swhatIsaid.”
Shelookedathimhard,andthenturnedhereyestoMattie,whowascarryingthedish-pantothetable.
“I’dliketoknowhowthecatgotintomychina-closet”’shesaid.
“Chasin’mice,Iguess,”Ethanrejoined.“Therewasamouseroundthekitchenalllastevening.”
Zeenacontinuedtolookfromonetotheother;thensheemittedhersmallstrangelaugh.
“Iknewthecatwasasmartcat,”shesaidinahighvoice,“butIdidn’tknowhewassmartenoughtopickupthepiecesofmypickle-dishandlay‘emedgetoedgeontheveryshelfheknocked‘emoffof.”
Mattiesuddenlydrewherarmsoutofthesteamingwater.“Itwasn’tEthan’sfault,Zeena!
Thecatdidbreakthedish;butIgotitdownfromthechina-closet,andI’mtheonetoblameforitsgettingbroken.”
Zeenastoodbesidetheruinofhertreasure,stiffeningintoastonyimageofresentment,“Yougotdownmypickle-dish-whatfor?”
AbrightflushflewtoMattie’scheeks.“Iwantedtomakethesupper-tablepretty,”shesaid.
“Youwantedtomakethesupper-tablepretty;andyouwaitedtillmybackwasturned,andtookthethingIsetmoststorebyofanythingI’vegot,andwouldn’tneveruseit,notevenwhentheministercometodinner,orAuntMarthaPiercecomeoverfromBettsbridge-”Zeenapausedwithagasp,asifterrifiedbyherownevocationofthesacrilege.
“You’reabadgirl,MattieSilver,andIalwaysknownit.
It’sthewayyourfatherbegun,andIwaswarnedofitwhenItookyou,andItriedtokeepmythingswhereyoucouldn’tgetat‘em-andnowyou’vetookfrommetheoneIcaredformostofall-”Shebrokeoffinashortspasmofsobsthatpassedandlefthermorethaneverlikeashapeofstone.
“IfI’d‘a’listenedtofolks,you’d‘a’gonebeforenow,andthiswouldn’t‘a’happened,”shesaid;andgatheringupthebitsofbrokenglassshewentoutoftheroomasifshecarriedadeadbody…
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