English
ItdidnottakeDorothylongtoestablishherselfinhernewhome,forsheknewthepeopleandthemannersandcustomsoftheEmeraldCityjustaswellassheknewtheoldKansasfarm.
ButUncleHenryandAuntEmhadsometroubleingettingusedtothefineryandpompandceremonyofOzma’spalace,andfeltuneasybecausetheywereobligedtobe“dressedup”allthetime.
Yeteveryonewasverycourteousandkindtothemandendeavoredtomakethemhappy.
Ozma,especially,mademuchofDorothy’srelatives,forherlittlefriend’ssake,andshewellknewthattheawkwardnessandstrangenessoftheirnewmodeoflifewouldallwearoffintime.
Theoldpeoplewerechieflytroubledbythefactthattherewasnoworkforthemtodo.
“Ev’rydayislikeSunday,now,”declaredAuntEm,solemnly,“andIcan’tsayIlikeit.
Ifthey’donlyletmedoupthedishesaftermeals,orevensweepan’dustmyownrooms,I’dbeadealhappier.
Henrydon’tknowwhattodowithhimselfeither,andoncewhenhestoleoutan’fedthechickensBillinascoldedhimforletting‘emeatbetweenmeals.
Ineverknewbeforewhatahardshipitistoberichandhaveeverythingyouwant.”
ThesecomplaintsbegantoworryDorothy;soshehadalongtalkwithOzmauponthesubject.
“IseeImustfindthemsomethingtodo,”saidthegirlishRulerofOz,seriously.
“Ihavebeenwatchingyouruncleandaunt,andIbelievetheywillbemorecontentedifoccupiedwithsomelighttasks.
WhileIamconsideringthismatter,Dorothy,youmightmakeatripwiththemthroughtheLandofOz,visitingsomeoftheoddcornersandintroducingyourrelativestosomeofourcuriouspeople.”
“Oh,thatwouldbefine!”exclaimedDorothy,eagerly.
“IwillgiveyouanescortbefittingyourrankasaPrincess,”continuedOzma;“andyoumaygotosomeoftheplacesyouhavenotyetvisitedyourself,aswellassomeothersthatyouknow.
Iwillmarkoutaplanofthetripforyouandhaveeverythinginreadinessforyoutostartto-morrowmorning.
Takeyourtime,dear,andbegoneaslongasyouwish.
BythetimeyoureturnIshallhavefoundsomeoccupationforUncleHenryandAuntEmthatwillkeepthemfrombeingrestlessanddissatisfied.”
DorothythankedhergoodfriendandkissedthelovelyRulergratefully.Thensherantotellthejoyfulnewstoheruncleandaunt.
Nextmorning,afterbreakfast,everythingwasfoundreadyfortheirdeparture.
TheescortincludedOmbyAmby,theCaptainGeneralofOzma’sarmy,whichconsistedmerelyoftwenty-sevenofficersbesidestheCaptainGeneral.
OnceOmbyAmbyhadbeenaprivatesoldier—theonlyprivateinthearmy—butastherewasneveranyfightingtodoOzmasawnoneedofaprivate,soshemadeOmbyAmbythehighestofficerofthemall.
Hewasverytallandslimandworeafestiveuniformandafiercemustache.
YetthemustachewastheonlyfiercethingaboutOmbyAmby,whosenaturewasasgentleasthatofachild.
ThewonderfulWizardhadaskedtojointheparty,andwithhimcamehisfriendtheShaggyMan,whowasshaggybutnotragged,beingdressedinfinesilkswithsatinshagsandbobtails.
TheShaggyManhadshaggywhiskersandhair,butasweetdispositionandasoft,pleasantvoice.
Therewasanopenwagon,withthreeseatsforthepassengers,andthewagonwasdrawnbythefamouswoodenSawhorsewhichhadoncebeenbroughttolifebyOzmabymeansofamagicpowder.
TheSawhorseworewoodenshoestokeephiswoodenlegsfromwearingaway,andhewasstrongandswift.
AsthiscuriouscreaturewasOzma’sownfavoritesteed,andverypopularwithallthepeopleoftheEmeraldCity,DorothyknewthatshehadbeenhighlyfavoredbybeingpermittedtousetheSawhorseonherjourney.
InthefrontseatofthewagonsatDorothyandtheWizard.
UncleHenryandAuntEmsatinthenextseatandtheShaggyManandOmbyAmbyinthethirdseat.
OfcourseTotowaswiththeparty,curledupatDorothy’sfeet,andjustastheywereabouttostart,Billinacameflutteringalongthepathandbeggedtobetakenwiththem.
Dorothyreadilyagreed,sotheYellowHenflewupandperchedherselfuponthedashboard.
Sheworeherpearlnecklaceandthreebraceletsuponeachleg,inhonoroftheoccasion.
DorothykissedOzmagood-bye,andallthepeoplestandingaroundwavedtheirhandkerchiefs,andthebandinanupperbalconystruckupamilitarymarch.
ThentheWizardcluckedtotheSawhorseandsaid:“Gid-dap!”
andthewoodenanimalprancedawayanddrewbehindhimthebigredwagonandallthepassengers,withoutanyeffortatall.
Aservantthrewopenagateofthepalaceenclosure,thattheymightpassout;andso,withmusicandshoutsfollowingthem,thejourneywasbegun.
“It’salmostlikeacircus,”saidAuntEm,proudly.“Ican’thelpfeelin’highan’mightyinthiskindofaturn-out.”
Indeed,astheypasseddownthestreet,allthepeoplecheeredthemlustily,andtheShaggyManandtheWizardandtheCaptainGeneralalltookofftheirhatsandbowedpolitelyinacknowledgment.
WhentheycametothegreatwalloftheEmeraldCity,thegateswereopenedbytheGuardianwhoalwaystendedthem.
Overthegatewayhungadull-coloredmetalmagnetshapedlikeahorse-shoe,placedagainstashieldofpolishedgold.
“That,”saidtheShaggyMan,impressively,“isthewonderfulLoveMagnet.IbroughtittotheEmeraldCitymyself,andallwhopassbeneaththisgatewayarebothlovingandbeloved.”
“It’safinething,”declaredAuntEm,admiringly.“Ifwe’dhaditinKansasIguessthemanwhoheldamortgageonthefarmwouldn’thaveturnedusout.”
“ThenI’mgladwedidn’thaveit,”returnedUncleHenry.
“IlikeOzbetterthanKansas,even;an’thislittlewoodSawhorsebeatsallthecrittersIeversaw.
Hedon’thavetobecurried,orfed,orwatered,an’he’sstrongasanox.Canhetalk,Dorothy?”
“Yes,Uncle,”repliedthechild.“ButtheSawhorseneversaysmuch.Hetoldmeoncethathecan’ttalkandthinkatthesametime,sohepreferstothink.”
“Whichisverysensible,”declaredtheWizard,noddingapprovingly.“Whichwaydowego,Dorothy?”
“StraightaheadintotheQuadlingCountry,”sheanswered.“I’vegotaletterofinterductiontoMissCuttenclip.”
“Oh!”exclaimedtheWizard,muchinterested.“Arewegoingthere?ThenI’mgladIcame,forI’vealwayswantedtomeettheCuttenclips.”
“Whoarethey?”inquiredAuntEm.
“Waittillwegetthere,”repliedDorothy,withalaugh;“thenyou’llseeforyourself.I’veneverseentheCuttenclips,youknow,soIcan’t‘zactly‘splain‘emtoyou.”
OncefreeoftheEmeraldCitytheSawhorsedashedawayattremendousspeed.
Indeed,hewentsofastthatAuntEmhadhardworktocatchherbreath,andUncleHenryheldfasttotheseatoftheredwagon.
“Gently—gently,myboy!”calledtheWizard,andatthistheSawhorseslackenedhisspeed.
“What’swrong?”askedtheanimal,slightlyturninghiswoodenheadtolookatthepartywithoneeye,whichwasaknotofwood.
“Why,wewishtoadmirethescenery,that’sall,”answeredtheWizard.
“Someofyourpassengers,”addedtheShaggyMan,“haveneverbeenoutoftheEmeraldCitybefore,andthecountryisallnewtothem.”
“Ifyougotoofastyou’llspoilallthefun,”saidDorothy.“There’snohurry.”
“Verywell;itisallthesametome,”observedtheSawhorse;andafterthathewentatamoremoderatepace.
UncleHenrywasastonished.
“Howcanawoodenthingbesointelligent?”heasked.
“Why,IgavehimsomesawdustbrainsthelasttimeIfittedhisheadwithnewears,”explainedtheWizard.
“Thesawdustwasmadefromhardknots,andnowtheSawhorseisabletothinkoutanyknottyproblemhemeetswith.”
“Isee,”saidUncleHenry.
“Idon’t,”remarkedAuntEm;butnoonepaidanyattentiontothisstatement.
Beforelongtheycametoastatelybuildingthatstooduponagreenplainwithhandsomeshadetreesgroupedhereandthere.
“Whatisthat?”askedUncleHenry.
“That,”repliedtheWizard,“istheRoyalAthleticCollegeofOz,whichisdirectedbyProfessorH.M.Wogglebug,T.E.”
“Let’sstopandmakeacall,”suggestedDorothy.
SotheSawhorsedrewupinfrontofthegreatbuildingandtheyweremetatthedoorbythelearnedWogglebughimself.
HeseemedfullyastallastheWizard,andwasdressedinaredandwhitecheckedvestandablueswallow-tailedcoat,andhadyellowkneebreechesandpurplesilkstockingsuponhisslenderlegs.
Atallhatwasjauntilysetuponhisheadandheworespectaclesoverhisbigbrighteyes.
“Welcome,Dorothy,”saidtheWogglebug;“andwelcometoallyourfriends.WeareindeedpleasedtoreceiveyouatthisgreatTempleofLearning.”
“IthoughtitwasanAthleticCollege,”saidtheShaggyMan.
“Itis,mydearsir,”answeredtheWogglebug,proudly.“HereitisthatweteachtheyouthofourgreatlandscientificCollegeAthletics—inalltheirpurity.”
“Don’tyouteachthemanythingelse?”askedDorothy.“Don’ttheygetanyreading,writingand‘rithmetic?”
“Oh,yes;ofcourse.Theygetallthose,andmore,”returnedtheProfessor.
“Butsuchthingsoccupylittleoftheirtime.
PleasefollowmeandIwillshowyouhowmyscholarsareusuallyoccupied.
Thisisaclasshourandtheyareallbusy.”
Theyfollowedhimtoabigfieldbackofthecollegebuilding,whereseveralhundredyoungOziteswereattheirclasses.
Inoneplacetheyplayedfootball,inanotherbaseball.
Someplayedtennis,somegolf;somewereswimminginabigpool.
Uponariverwhichwoundthroughthegroundsseveralcrewsinracingboatswererowingwithgreatenthusiasm.
Othergroupsofstudentsplayedbasketballandcricket,whileinoneplacearingwasropedintopermitboxingandwrestlingbytheenergeticyouths.
Allthecollegiansseemedbusyandtherewasmuchlaughterandshouting.
“Thiscollege,”saidProfessorWogglebug,complacently,“isagreatsuccess.Itseducationalvalueisundisputed,andweareturningoutmanygreatandvaluablecitizenseveryyear.”
“Butwhendotheystudy?”askedDorothy.
“Study?”saidtheWogglebug,lookingperplexedatthequestion.
“Yes;whendotheygettheir‘rithmetic,andjogerfy,andsuchthings?”
“Oh,theytakedosesofthoseeverynightandmorning,”wasthereply.
“Whatdoyoumeanbydoses?”Dorothyinquired,wonderingly.
“Why,weusethenewlyinventedSchoolPills,madebyyourfriendtheWizard.
Thesepillswehavefoundtobeveryeffective,andtheysavealotoftime.
PleasestepthiswayandIwillshowyouourLaboratoryofLearning.”
Heledthemtoaroominthebuildingwheremanylargebottleswerestandinginrowsuponshelves.
“ThesearetheAlgebraPills,”saidtheProfessor,takingdownoneofthebottles.
“Oneatnight,onretiring,isequaltofourhoursofstudy.
HerearetheGeographyPills—oneatnightandoneinthemorning.
InthisnextbottlearetheLatinPills—onethreetimesaday.
ThenwehavetheGrammarPills—onebeforeeachmeal—andtheSpellingPills,whicharetakenwheneverneeded.”
“Yourscholarsmusthavetotakealotofpills,”remarkedDorothy,thoughtfully.“Howdotheytake‘em,inapplesauce?”
“No,mydear.Theyaresugar-coatedandarequicklyandeasilyswallowed.
Ibelievethestudentswouldrathertakethepillsthanstudy,andcertainlythepillsareamoreeffectivemethod.
Yousee,untiltheseSchoolPillswereinventedwewastedalotoftimeinstudythatmaynowbebetteremployedinpracticingathletics.”
“Seemstomethepillsareagoodthing,”saidOmbyAmby,whorememberedhowitusedtomakehisheadacheasaboytostudyarithmetic.
“Theyare,sir,”declaredtheWogglebug,earnestly.
“Theygiveusanadvantageoverallothercolleges,becauseatnolossoftimeourboysbecomethoroughlyconversantwithGreekandLatin,MathematicsandGeography,GrammarandLiterature.
Youseetheyareneverobligedtointerrupttheirgamestoacquirethelesserbranchesoflearning.”
“It’sagreatinvention,I’msure,”saidDorothy,lookingadmiringlyattheWizard,whoblushedmodestlyatthispraise.
“Weliveinanageofprogress,”announcedProfessorWogglebug,pompously.“Itiseasiertoswallowknowledgethantoacquireitlaboriouslyfrombooks.Isitnotso,myfriends?”
“Somefolkscanswallowanything,”saidAuntEm,“buttomethisseemstoomuchliketakingmedicine.”
“Youngmenincollegealwayshavetotaketheirmedicine,onewayoranother,”observedtheWizard,withasmile;“and,asourProfessorsays,theseSchoolPillshaveprovedtobeagreatsuccess.
OnedaywhileIwasmakingthemIhappenedtodroponeofthem,andoneofBillina’schickensgobbleditup.
Afewminutesafterwardthischickgotuponaroostandrecited‘TheBoyStoodontheBurningDeck’withoutmakingasinglemistake.
Thenitrecited‘TheChargeoftheLightBrigade’andafterwards‘Excelsior.’
Yousee,thechickenhadeatenanElocutionPill.”
Theynowbadegood-byetotheProfessor,andthankinghimforhiskindreceptionmountedagainintotheredwagonandcontinuedtheirjourney.
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