English
I
Siberia.Onthebanksofabroadsolitaryriverstandsatown,oneoftheadministrativecentresofRussia;inthetownthereisafortress,inthefortressthereisaprison.
Intheprisonthesecond-classconvictRodionRaskolnikovhasbeenconfinedforninemonths.
Almostayearandahalfhaspassedsincehiscrime.
Therehadbeenlittledifficultyabouthistrial.
Thecriminaladheredexactly,firmly,andclearlytohisstatement.
Hedidnotconfusenormisrepresentthefacts,norsoftentheminhisowninterest,noromitthesmallestdetail.
Heexplainedeveryincidentofthemurder,thesecretofthepledge(thepieceofwoodwithastripofmetal)whichwasfoundinthemurderedwoman’shand.
Hedescribedminutelyhowhehadtakenherkeys,whattheywerelike,aswellasthechestanditscontents;heexplainedthemysteryofLizaveta’smurder;describedhowKochand,afterhim,thestudentknocked,andrepeatedalltheyhadsaidtooneanother;howheafterwardshadrundownstairsandheardNikolayandDmitrishouting;howhehadhiddenintheemptyflatandafterwardsgonehome.
HeendedbyindicatingthestoneintheyardofftheVoznesenskyProspectunderwhichthepurseandthetrinketswerefound.
Thewholething,infact,wasperfectlyclear.
Thelawyersandthejudgeswereverymuchstruck,amongotherthings,bythefactthathehadhiddenthetrinketsandthepurseunderastone,withoutmakinguseofthem,andthat,whatwasmore,hedidnotnowrememberwhatthetrinketswerelike,orevenhowmanytherewere.
Thefactthathehadneveropenedthepurseanddidnotevenknowhowmuchwasinitseemedincredible.
Thereturnedouttobeinthepursethreehundredandseventeenroublesandsixtycopecks.
Frombeingsolongunderthestone,someofthemostvaluablenoteslyinguppermosthadsufferedfromthedamp.
Theywerealongwhiletryingtodiscoverwhytheaccusedmanshouldtellalieaboutthis,whenabouteverythingelsehehadmadeatruthfulandstraightforwardconfession.
Finallysomeofthelawyersmoreversedinpsychologyadmittedthatitwaspossiblehehadreallynotlookedintothepurse,andsodidn’tknowwhatwasinitwhenhehiditunderthestone.
Buttheyimmediatelydrewthedeductionthatthecrimecouldonlyhavebeencommittedthroughtemporarymentalderangement,throughhomicidalmania,withoutobjectorthepursuitofgain.
Thisfellinwiththemostrecentfashionabletheoryoftemporaryinsanity,sooftenappliedinourdaysincriminalcases.
MoreoverRaskolnikov’shypochondriacalconditionwasprovedbymanywitnesses,byDr.Zossimov,hisformerfellowstudents,hislandladyandherservant.
AllthispointedstronglytotheconclusionthatRaskolnikovwasnotquitelikeanordinarymurdererandrobber,butthattherewasanotherelementinthecase.
Totheintenseannoyanceofthosewhomaintainedthisopinion,thecriminalscarcelyattemptedtodefendhimself.
Tothedecisivequestionastowhatmotiveimpelledhimtothemurderandtherobbery,heansweredveryclearlywiththecoarsestfranknessthatthecausewashismiserableposition,hispovertyandhelplessness,andhisdesiretoprovideforhisfirststepsinlifebythehelpofthethreethousandroubleshehadreckonedonfinding.
Hehadbeenledtothemurderthroughhisshallowandcowardlynature,exasperatedmoreoverbyprivationandfailure.
Tothequestionwhatledhimtoconfess,heansweredthatitwashisheartfeltrepentance.Allthiswasalmostcoarse….
Thesentencehoweverwasmoremercifulthancouldhavebeenexpected,perhapspartlybecausethecriminalhadnottriedtojustifyhimself,buthadrathershownadesiretoexaggeratehisguilt.
Allthestrangeandpeculiarcircumstancesofthecrimeweretakenintoconsideration.
Therecouldbenodoubtoftheabnormalandpoverty-strickenconditionofthecriminalatthetime.
Thefactthathehadmadenouseofwhathehadstolenwasputdownpartlytotheeffectofremorse,partlytohisabnormalmentalconditionatthetimeofthecrime.
IncidentallythemurderofLizavetaservedindeedtoconfirmthelasthypothesis:amancommitstwomurdersandforgetsthatthedoorisopen!
Finally,theconfession,attheverymomentwhenthecasewashopelesslymuddledbythefalseevidencegivenbyNikolaythroughmelancholyandfanaticism,andwhen,moreover,therewerenoproofsagainsttherealcriminal,nosuspicionseven(PorfiryPetrovitchfullykepthisword)—allthisdidmuchtosoftenthesentence.
Othercircumstances,too,intheprisoner’sfavourcameoutquiteunexpectedly.
RazumihinsomehowdiscoveredandprovedthatwhileRaskolnikovwasattheuniversityhehadhelpedapoorconsumptivefellowstudentandhadspenthislastpennyonsupportinghimforsixmonths,andwhenthisstudentdied,leavingadecrepitoldfatherwhomhehadmaintainedalmostfromhisthirteenthyear,Raskolnikovhadgottheoldmanintoahospitalandpaidforhisfuneralwhenhedied.
Raskolnikov’slandladyborewitness,too,thatwhentheyhadlivedinanotherhouseatFiveCorners,Raskolnikovhadrescuedtwolittlechildrenfromahouseonfireandwasburntindoingso.
Thiswasinvestigatedandfairlywellconfirmedbymanywitnesses.
Thesefactsmadeanimpressioninhisfavour.
Andintheendthecriminalwas,inconsiderationofextenuatingcircumstances,condemnedtopenalservitudeinthesecondclassforatermofeightyearsonly.
AttheverybeginningofthetrialRaskolnikov’smotherfellill.
DouniaandRazumihinfounditpossibletogetheroutofPetersburgduringthetrial.
RazumihinchoseatownontherailwaynotfarfromPetersburg,soastobeabletofolloweverystepofthetrialandatthesametimetoseeAvdotyaRomanovnaasoftenaspossible.
PulcheriaAlexandrovna’sillnesswasastrangenervousoneandwasaccompaniedbyapartialderangementofherintellect.
WhenDouniareturnedfromherlastinterviewwithherbrother,shehadfoundhermotheralreadyill,infeverishdelirium.
ThateveningRazumihinandsheagreedwhatanswerstheymustmaketohermother’squestionsaboutRaskolnikovandmadeupacompletestoryforhermother’sbenefitofhishavingtogoawaytoadistantpartofRussiaonabusinesscommission,whichwouldbringhimintheendmoneyandreputation.
ButtheywerestruckbythefactthatPulcheriaAlexandrovnaneveraskedthemanythingonthesubject,neitherthennorthereafter.
Onthecontrary,shehadherownversionofherson’ssuddendeparture;shetoldthemwithtearshowhehadcometosaygood-byetoher,hintingthatshealoneknewmanymysteriousandimportantfacts,andthatRodyahadmanyverypowerfulenemies,sothatitwasnecessaryforhimtobeinhiding.
Asforhisfuturecareer,shehadnodoubtthatitwouldbebrilliantwhencertainsinisterinfluencescouldberemoved.
SheassuredRazumihinthathersonwouldbeonedayagreatstatesman,thathisarticleandbrilliantliterarytalentprovedit.
Thisarticleshewascontinuallyreading,sheevenreaditaloud,almosttookittobedwithher,butscarcelyaskedwhereRodyawas,thoughthesubjectwasobviouslyavoidedbytheothers,whichmighthavebeenenoughtoawakenhersuspicions.
TheybegantobefrightenedatlastatPulcheriaAlexandrovna’sstrangesilenceoncertainsubjects.
Shedidnot,forinstance,complainofgettingnolettersfromhim,thoughinpreviousyearsshehadonlylivedonthehopeoflettersfromherbelovedRodya.
ThiswasthecauseofgreatuneasinesstoDounia;theideaoccurredtoherthathermothersuspectedthattherewassomethingterribleinherson’sfateandwasafraidtoask,forfearofhearingsomethingstillmoreawful.
Inanycase,Douniasawclearlythathermotherwasnotinfullpossessionofherfaculties.
Ithappenedonceortwice,however,thatPulcheriaAlexandrovnagavesuchaturntotheconversationthatitwasimpossibletoanswerherwithoutmentioningwhereRodyawas,andonreceivingunsatisfactoryandsuspiciousanswersshebecameatoncegloomyandsilent,andthismoodlastedforalongtime.
Douniasawatlastthatitwashardtodeceiveherandcametotheconclusionthatitwasbettertobeabsolutelysilentoncertainpoints;butitbecamemoreandmoreevidentthatthepoormothersuspectedsomethingterrible.
Douniarememberedherbrother’stellingherthathermotherhadoverheardhertalkinginhersleeponthenightafterherinterviewwithSvidrigailovandbeforethefataldayoftheconfession:hadnotshemadeoutsomethingfromthat?
Sometimesdaysandevenweeksofgloomysilenceandtearswouldbesucceededbyaperiodofhystericalanimation,andtheinvalidwouldbegintotalkalmostincessantlyofherson,ofherhopesofhisfuture….
Herfanciesweresometimesverystrange.
Theyhumouredher,pretendedtoagreewithher(shesawperhapsthattheywerepretending),butshestillwentontalking.
FivemonthsafterRaskolnikov’sconfession,hewassentenced.
RazumihinandSoniasawhiminprisonasoftenasitwaspossible.Atlastthemomentofseparationcame.
Douniasworetoherbrotherthattheseparationshouldnotbeforever,Razumihindidthesame.
Razumihin,inhisyouthfulardour,hadfirmlyresolvedtolaythefoundationsatleastofasecurelivelihoodduringthenextthreeorfouryears,andsavingupacertainsum,toemigratetoSiberia,acountryrichineverynaturalresourceandinneedofworkers,activemenandcapital.
TheretheywouldsettleinthetownwhereRodyawasandalltogetherwouldbeginanewlife.Theyallweptatparting.
Raskolnikovhadbeenverydreamyforafewdaysbefore.
Heaskedagreatdealabouthismotherandwasconstantlyanxiousabouther.
HeworriedsomuchaboutherthatitalarmedDounia.
Whenheheardabouthismother’sillnesshebecameverygloomy.
WithSoniahewasparticularlyreservedallthetime.
WiththehelpofthemoneylefttoherbySvidrigailov,SoniahadlongagomadeherpreparationstofollowthepartyofconvictsinwhichhewasdespatchedtoSiberia.
NotawordpassedbetweenRaskolnikovandheronthesubject,butbothknewitwouldbeso.
Atthefinalleave-takinghesmiledstrangelyathissister’sandRazumihin’sferventanticipationsoftheirhappyfuturetogetherwhenheshouldcomeoutofprison.
Hepredictedthattheirmother’sillnesswouldsoonhaveafatalending.Soniaandheatlastsetoff.
TwomonthslaterDouniawasmarriedtoRazumihin.
Itwasaquietandsorrowfulwedding;PorfiryPetrovitchandZossimovwereinvitedhowever.
DuringallthisperiodRazumihinworeanairofresolutedetermination.
Douniaputimplicitfaithinhiscarryingouthisplansandindeedshecouldnotbutbelieveinhim.Hedisplayedararestrengthofwill.
Amongotherthingshebeganattendinguniversitylecturesagaininordertotakehisdegree.
Theywerecontinuallymakingplansforthefuture;bothcountedonsettlinginSiberiawithinfiveyearsatleast.
TillthentheyrestedtheirhopesonSonia.
PulcheriaAlexandrovnawasdelightedtogiveherblessingtoDounia’smarriagewithRazumihin;butafterthemarriageshebecameevenmoremelancholyandanxious.
TogiveherpleasureRazumihintoldherhowRaskolnikovhadlookedafterthepoorstudentandhisdecrepitfatherandhowayearagohehadbeenburntandinjuredinrescuingtwolittlechildrenfromafire.
ThesetwopiecesofnewsexcitedPulcheriaAlexandrovna’sdisorderedimaginationalmosttoecstasy.
Shewascontinuallytalkingaboutthem,evenenteringintoconversationwithstrangersinthestreet,thoughDouniaalwaysaccompaniedher.
Inpublicconveyancesandshops,wherevershecouldcapturealistener,shewouldbeginthediscourseaboutherson,hisarticle,howhehadhelpedthestudent,howhehadbeenburntatthefire,andsoon!
Douniadidnotknowhowtorestrainher.
Apartfromthedangerofhermorbidexcitement,therewastheriskofsomeone’srecallingRaskolnikov’snameandspeakingoftherecenttrial.
PulcheriaAlexandrovnafoundouttheaddressofthemotherofthetwochildrenhersonhadsavedandinsistedongoingtoseeher.
Atlastherrestlessnessreachedanextremepoint.
Shewouldsometimesbegintocrysuddenlyandwasoftenillandfeverishlydelirious.
OnemorningshedeclaredthatbyherreckoningRodyaoughtsoontobehome,thatsherememberedwhenhesaidgood-byetoherhesaidthattheymustexpecthimbackinninemonths.
Shebegantoprepareforhiscoming,begantodoupherroomforhim,tocleanthefurniture,towashandputupnewhangingsandsoon.
Douniawasanxious,butsaidnothingandhelpedhertoarrangetheroom.
Afterafatiguingdayspentincontinualfancies,injoyfulday-dreamsandtears,PulcheriaAlexandrovnawastakenillinthenightandbymorningshewasfeverishanddelirious.Itwasbrainfever.Shediedwithinafortnight.
Inherdeliriumshedroppedwordswhichshowedthatsheknewagreatdealmoreaboutherson’sterriblefatethantheyhadsupposed.
ForalongtimeRaskolnikovdidnotknowofhismother’sdeath,thougharegularcorrespondencehadbeenmaintainedfromthetimehereachedSiberia.
ItwascarriedonbymeansofSonia,whowroteeverymonthtotheRazumihinsandreceivedananswerwithunfailingregularity.
AtfirsttheyfoundSonia’slettersdryandunsatisfactory,butlaterontheycametotheconclusionthattheletterscouldnotbebetter,forfromtheseletterstheyreceivedacompletepictureoftheirunfortunatebrother’slife.
Sonia’sletterswerefullofthemostmatter-of-factdetail,thesimplestandclearestdescriptionofallRaskolnikov’ssurroundingsasaconvict.
Therewasnowordofherownhopes,noconjectureastothefuture,nodescriptionofherfeelings.
Insteadofanyattempttointerprethisstateofmindandinnerlife,shegavethesimplefacts—thatis,hisownwords,anexactaccountofhishealth,whatheaskedforattheirinterviews,whatcommissionhegaveherandsoon.
Allthesefactsshegavewithextraordinaryminuteness.
Thepictureoftheirunhappybrotherstoodoutatlastwithgreatclearnessandprecision.
Therecouldbenomistake,becausenothingwasgivenbutfacts.
ButDouniaandherhusbandcouldgetlittlecomfortoutofthenews,especiallyatfirst.
Soniawrotethathewasconstantlysullenandnotreadytotalk,thathescarcelyseemedinterestedinthenewsshegavehimfromtheirletters,thathesometimesaskedafterhismotherandthatwhen,seeingthathehadguessedthetruth,shetoldhimatlastofherdeath,shewassurprisedtofindthathedidnotseemgreatlyaffectedbyit,notexternallyatanyrate.
Shetoldthemthat,althoughheseemedsowrappedupinhimselfand,asitwere,shuthimselfofffromeveryone—hetookaverydirectandsimpleviewofhisnewlife;thatheunderstoodhisposition,expectednothingbetterforthetime,hadnoill-foundedhopes(asissocommoninhisposition)andscarcelyseemedsurprisedatanythinginhissurroundings,sounlikeanythinghehadknownbefore.
Shewrotethathishealthwassatisfactory;hedidhisworkwithoutshirkingorseekingtodomore;hewasalmostindifferentaboutfood,butexceptonSundaysandholidaysthefoodwassobadthatatlasthehadbeengladtoacceptsomemoneyfromher,Sonia,tohavehisownteaeveryday.
Hebeggedhernottotroubleaboutanythingelse,declaringthatallthisfussabouthimonlyannoyedhim.
Soniawrotefurtherthatinprisonhesharedthesameroomwiththerest,thatshehadnotseentheinsideoftheirbarracks,butconcludedthattheywerecrowded,miserableandunhealthy;thathesleptonaplankbedwitharugunderhimandwasunwillingtomakeanyotherarrangement.
Butthathelivedsopoorlyandroughly,notfromanyplanordesign,butsimplyfrominattentionandindifference.
Soniawrotesimplythathehadatfirstshownnointerestinhervisits,hadalmostbeenvexedwithherindeedforcoming,unwillingtotalkandrudetoher.
Butthatintheendthesevisitshadbecomeahabitandalmostanecessityforhim,sothathewaspositivelydistressedwhenshewasillforsomedaysandcouldnotvisithim.
Sheusedtoseehimonholidaysattheprisongatesorintheguard-room,towhichhewasbroughtforafewminutestoseeher.
Onworkingdaysshewouldgotoseehimatworkeitherattheworkshopsoratthebrickkilns,orattheshedsonthebanksoftheIrtish.
Aboutherself,Soniawrotethatshehadsucceededinmakingsomeacquaintancesinthetown,thatshedidsewing,and,astherewasscarcelyadressmakerinthetown,shewaslookeduponasanindispensablepersoninmanyhouses.
Butshedidnotmentionthattheauthoritieswere,throughher,interestedinRaskolnikov;thathistaskwaslightenedandsoon.
Atlastthenewscame(Douniahadindeednoticedsignsofalarmanduneasinessintheprecedingletters)thatheheldalooffromeveryone,thathisfellowprisonersdidnotlikehim,thathekeptsilentfordaysatatimeandwasbecomingverypale.
InthelastletterSoniawrotethathehadbeentakenveryseriouslyillandwasintheconvictwardofthehospital.
II
Hewasillalongtime.Butitwasnotthehorrorsofprisonlife,notthehardlabour,thebadfood,theshavenhead,orthepatchedclothesthatcrushedhim.
Whatdidhecareforallthosetrialsandhardships!hewasevengladofthehardwork.
Physicallyexhausted,hecouldatleastreckononafewhoursofquietsleep.
Andwhatwasthefoodtohim—thethincabbagesoupwithbeetlesfloatinginit?
Inthepastasastudenthehadoftennothadeventhat.
Hisclotheswerewarmandsuitedtohismanneroflife.Hedidnotevenfeelthefetters.
Washeashamedofhisshavenheadandparti-colouredcoat?Beforewhom?BeforeSonia?
Soniawasafraidofhim,howcouldhebeashamedbeforeher?
AndyethewasashamedevenbeforeSonia,whomhetorturedbecauseofitwithhiscontemptuousroughmanner.
Butitwasnothisshavenheadandhisfettershewasashamedof:hispridehadbeenstungtothequick.Itwaswoundedpridethatmadehimill.
Oh,howhappyhewouldhavebeenifhecouldhaveblamedhimself!
Hecouldhaveborneanythingthen,evenshameanddisgrace.
Buthejudgedhimselfseverely,andhisexasperatedconsciencefoundnoparticularlyterriblefaultinhispast,exceptasimpleblunderwhichmighthappentoanyone.
Hewasashamedjustbecausehe,Raskolnikov,hadsohopelessly,stupidlycometogriefthroughsomedecreeofblindfate,andmusthumblehimselfandsubmitto“theidiocy”ofasentence,ifhewereanyhowtobeatpeace.
Vagueandobjectlessanxietyinthepresent,andinthefutureacontinualsacrificeleadingtonothing—thatwasallthatlaybeforehim.
Andwhatcomfortwasittohimthatattheendofeightyearshewouldonlybethirty-twoandabletobeginanewlife!Whathadhetolivefor?Whathadhetolookforwardto?Whyshouldhestrive?Toliveinordertoexist?
Why,hehadbeenreadyathousandtimesbeforetogiveupexistenceforthesakeofanidea,forahope,evenforafancy.
Mereexistencehadalwaysbeentoolittleforhim;hehadalwayswantedmore.
Perhapsitwasjustbecauseofthestrengthofhisdesiresthathehadthoughthimselfamantowhommorewaspermissiblethantoothers.
Andifonlyfatewouldhavesenthimrepentance—burningrepentancethatwouldhavetornhisheartandrobbedhimofsleep,thatrepentance,theawfulagonyofwhichbringsvisionsofhangingordrowning!Oh,hewouldhavebeengladofit!
Tearsandagonieswouldatleasthavebeenlife.Buthedidnotrepentofhiscrime.
Atleasthemighthavefoundreliefinragingathisstupidity,ashehadragedatthegrotesqueblundersthathadbroughthimtoprison.
Butnowinprison,infreedom,hethoughtoverandcriticisedallhisactionsagainandbynomeansfoundthemsoblunderingandsogrotesqueastheyhadseemedatthefataltime.
“Inwhatway,”heaskedhimself,“wasmytheorystupiderthanothersthathaveswarmedandclashedfromthebeginningoftheworld?
Onehasonlytolookatthethingquiteindependently,broadly,anduninfluencedbycommonplaceideas,andmyideawillbynomeansseemso…strange.
Oh,scepticsandhalfpennyphilosophers,whydoyouhalthalf-way!”
“Whydoesmyactionstrikethemassohorrible?”hesaidtohimself.“Isitbecauseitwasacrime?Whatismeantbycrime?Myconscienceisatrest.
Ofcourse,itwasalegalcrime,ofcourse,theletterofthelawwasbrokenandbloodwasshed.
Well,punishmefortheletterofthelaw…andthat’senough.
Ofcourse,inthatcasemanyofthebenefactorsofmankindwhosnatchedpowerforthemselvesinsteadofinheritingitoughttohavebeenpunishedattheirfirststeps.
Butthosemensucceededandsotheywereright,andIdidn’t,andsoIhadnorighttohavetakenthatstep.”
Itwasonlyinthatthatherecognisedhiscriminality,onlyinthefactthathehadbeenunsuccessfulandhadconfessedit.
Hesufferedtoofromthequestion:whyhadhenotkilledhimself?
Whyhadhestoodlookingattheriverandpreferredtoconfess?
Wasthedesiretolivesostrongandwasitsohardtoovercomeit?
HadnotSvidrigailovovercomeit,althoughhewasafraidofdeath?
Inmiseryheaskedhimselfthisquestion,andcouldnotunderstandthat,attheverytimehehadbeenstandinglookingintotheriver,hehadperhapsbeendimlyconsciousofthefundamentalfalsityinhimselfandhisconvictions.
Hedidn’tunderstandthatthatconsciousnessmightbethepromiseofafuturecrisis,ofanewviewoflifeandofhisfutureresurrection.
Hepreferredtoattributeittothedeadweightofinstinctwhichhecouldnotstepover,againthroughweaknessandmeanness.
Helookedathisfellowprisonersandwasamazedtoseehowtheyalllovedlifeandprizedit.
Itseemedtohimthattheylovedandvaluedlifemoreinprisonthaninfreedom.
Whatterribleagoniesandprivationssomeofthem,thetrampsforinstance,hadendured!
Couldtheycaresomuchforarayofsunshine,fortheprimevalforest,thecoldspringhiddenawayinsomeunseenspot,whichthetramphadmarkedthreeyearsbefore,andlongedtoseeagain,ashemighttoseehissweetheart,dreamingofthegreengrassrounditandthebirdsinginginthebush?
Ashewentonhesawstillmoreinexplicableexamples.
Inprison,ofcourse,therewasagreatdealhedidnotseeanddidnotwanttosee;helivedasitwerewithdowncasteyes.
Itwasloathsomeandunbearableforhimtolook.
Butintheendtherewasmuchthatsurprisedhimandhebegan,asitwereinvoluntarily,tonoticemuchthathehadnotsuspectedbefore.
Whatsurprisedhimmostofallwastheterribleimpossiblegulfthatlaybetweenhimandalltherest.
Theyseemedtobeadifferentspecies,andhelookedatthemandtheyathimwithdistrustandhostility.
Hefeltandknewthereasonsofhisisolation,buthewouldneverhaveadmittedtillthenthatthosereasonsweresodeepandstrong.
ThereweresomePolishexiles,politicalprisoners,amongthem.
Theysimplylookeddownuponalltherestasignorantchurls;butRaskolnikovcouldnotlookuponthemlikethat.
HesawthattheseignorantmenwereinmanyrespectsfarwiserthanthePoles.
ThereweresomeRussianswhowerejustascontemptuous,aformerofficerandtwoseminarists.
Raskolnikovsawtheirmistakeasclearly.
Hewasdislikedandavoidedbyeveryone;theyevenbegantohatehimatlast—why,hecouldnottell.
Menwhohadbeenfarmoreguiltydespisedandlaughedathiscrime.
“You’reagentleman,”theyusedtosay.“Youshouldn’thackaboutwithanaxe;that’snotagentleman’swork.”
ThesecondweekinLent,histurncametotakethesacramentwithhisgang.
Hewenttochurchandprayedwiththeothers.
Aquarrelbrokeoutoneday,hedidnotknowhow.Allfellonhimatonceinafury.
“You’reaninfidel!Youdon’tbelieveinGod,”theyshouted.“Yououghttobekilled.”
HehadnevertalkedtothemaboutGodnorhisbelief,buttheywantedtokillhimasaninfidel.Hesaidnothing.
Oneoftheprisonersrushedathiminaperfectfrenzy.
Raskolnikovawaitedhimcalmlyandsilently;hiseyebrowsdidnotquiver,hisfacedidnotflinch.
Theguardsucceededininterveningbetweenhimandhisassailant,ortherewouldhavebeenbloodshed.
Therewasanotherquestionhecouldnotdecide:whyweretheyallsofondofSonia?
Shedidnottrytowintheirfavour;sherarelymetthem,sometimesonlyshecametoseehimatworkforamoment.
Andyeteverybodyknewher,theyknewthatshehadcomeouttofollowhim,knewhowandwhereshelived.
Shenevergavethemmoney,didthemnoparticularservices.
OnlyonceatChristmasshesentthemallpresentsofpiesandrolls.
ButbydegreescloserrelationssprangupbetweenthemandSonia.
Shewouldwriteandpostlettersforthemtotheirrelations.
Relationsoftheprisonerswhovisitedthetown,attheirinstructions,leftwithSoniapresentsandmoneyforthem.
Theirwivesandsweetheartsknewherandusedtovisither.
AndwhenshevisitedRaskolnikovatwork,ormetapartyoftheprisonersontheroad,theyalltookofftheirhatstoher.
“LittlemotherSofyaSemyonovna,youareourdear,goodlittlemother,”coarsebrandedcriminalssaidtothatfraillittlecreature.
Shewouldsmileandbowtothemandeveryonewasdelightedwhenshesmiled.
Theyevenadmiredhergaitandturnedroundtowatchherwalking;theyadmiredhertooforbeingsolittle,and,infact,didnotknowwhattoadmirehermostfor.
Theyevencametoherforhelpintheirillnesses.
HewasinthehospitalfromthemiddleofLenttillafterEaster.
Whenhewasbetter,herememberedthedreamshehadhadwhilehewasfeverishanddelirious.
HedreamtthatthewholeworldwascondemnedtoaterriblenewstrangeplaguethathadcometoEuropefromthedepthsofAsia.
Allweretobedestroyedexceptaveryfewchosen.
Somenewsortsofmicrobeswereattackingthebodiesofmen,butthesemicrobeswereendowedwithintelligenceandwill.
Menattackedbythembecameatoncemadandfurious.
Butneverhadmenconsideredthemselvessointellectualandsocompletelyinpossessionofthetruthasthesesufferers,neverhadtheyconsideredtheirdecisions,theirscientificconclusions,theirmoralconvictionssoinfallible.
Wholevillages,wholetownsandpeopleswentmadfromtheinfection.
Allwereexcitedanddidnotunderstandoneanother.
Eachthoughtthathealonehadthetruthandwaswretchedlookingattheothers,beathimselfonthebreast,wept,andwrunghishands.
Theydidnotknowhowtojudgeandcouldnotagreewhattoconsiderevilandwhatgood;theydidnotknowwhomtoblame,whomtojustify.
Menkilledeachotherinasortofsenselessspite.
Theygatheredtogetherinarmiesagainstoneanother,butevenonthemarchthearmieswouldbeginattackingeachother,therankswouldbebrokenandthesoldierswouldfalloneachother,stabbingandcutting,bitinganddevouringeachother.
Thealarmbellwasringingalldaylonginthetowns;menrushedtogether,butwhytheyweresummonedandwhowassummoningthemnooneknew.
Themostordinarytradeswereabandoned,becauseeveryoneproposedhisownideas,hisownimprovements,andtheycouldnotagree.Thelandtoowasabandoned.
Menmetingroups,agreedonsomething,sworetokeeptogether,butatoncebeganonsomethingquitedifferentfromwhattheyhadproposed.
Theyaccusedoneanother,foughtandkilledeachother.Therewereconflagrationsandfamine.
Allmenandallthingswereinvolvedindestruction.
Theplaguespreadandmovedfurtherandfurther.
Onlyafewmencouldbesavedinthewholeworld.
Theywereapurechosenpeople,destinedtofoundanewraceandanewlife,torenewandpurifytheearth,butnoonehadseenthesemen,noonehadheardtheirwordsandtheirvoices.
Raskolnikovwasworriedthatthissenselessdreamhauntedhismemorysomiserably,theimpressionofthisfeverishdeliriumpersistedsolong.ThesecondweekafterEasterhadcome.
Therewerewarmbrightspringdays;intheprisonwardthegratingwindowsunderwhichthesentinelpacedwereopened.
Soniahadonlybeenabletovisithimtwiceduringhisillness;eachtimeshehadtoobtainpermission,anditwasdifficult.
Butsheoftenusedtocometothehospitalyard,especiallyintheevening,sometimesonlytostandaminuteandlookupatthewindowsoftheward.
Oneevening,whenhewasalmostwellagain,Raskolnikovfellasleep.
Onwakinguphechancedtogotothewindow,andatoncesawSoniainthedistanceatthehospitalgate.Sheseemedtobewaitingforsomeone.
Somethingstabbedhimtotheheartatthatminute.
Heshudderedandmovedawayfromthewindow.
NextdaySoniadidnotcome,northedayafter;henoticedthathewasexpectingheruneasily.Atlasthewasdischarged.
OnreachingtheprisonhelearntfromtheconvictsthatSofyaSemyonovnawaslyingillathomeandwasunabletogoout.
Hewasveryuneasyandsenttoinquireafterher;hesoonlearntthatherillnesswasnotdangerous.
Hearingthathewasanxiousabouther,Soniasenthimapencillednote,tellinghimthatshewasmuchbetter,thatshehadaslightcoldandthatshewouldsoon,verysooncomeandseehimathiswork.
Hisheartthrobbedpainfullyashereadit.
Againitwasawarmbrightday.Earlyinthemorning,atsixo’clock,hewentofftoworkontheriverbank,wheretheyusedtopoundalabasterandwheretherewasakilnforbakingitinashed.Therewereonlythreeofthemsent.
Oneoftheconvictswentwiththeguardtothefortresstofetchatool;theotherbegangettingthewoodreadyandlayingitinthekiln.
Raskolnikovcameoutoftheshedontotheriverbank,satdownonaheapoflogsbytheshedandbegangazingatthewidedesertedriver.
Fromthehighbankabroadlandscapeopenedbeforehim,thesoundofsingingfloatedfaintlyaudiblefromtheotherbank.
Inthevaststeppe,bathedinsunshine,hecouldjustsee,likeblackspecks,thenomads’tents.
Theretherewasfreedom,thereothermenwereliving,utterlyunlikethosehere;theretimeitselfseemedtostandstill,asthoughtheageofAbrahamandhisflockshadnotpassed.
Raskolnikovsatgazing,histhoughtspassedintoday-dreams,intocontemplation;hethoughtofnothing,butavaguerestlessnessexcitedandtroubledhim.
SuddenlyhefoundSoniabesidehim;shehadcomeupnoiselesslyandsatdownathisside.
Itwasstillquiteearly;themorningchillwasstillkeen.
Sheworeherpooroldburnousandthegreenshawl;herfacestillshowedsignsofillness,itwasthinnerandpaler.
Shegavehimajoyfulsmileofwelcome,butheldoutherhandwithherusualtimidity.
Shewasalwaystimidofholdingoutherhandtohimandsometimesdidnotofferitatall,asthoughafraidhewouldrepelit.
Healwaystookherhandasthoughwithrepugnance,alwaysseemedvexedtomeetherandwassometimesobstinatelysilentthroughouthervisit.
Sometimesshetrembledbeforehimandwentawaydeeplygrieved.Butnowtheirhandsdidnotpart.
Hestolearapidglanceatheranddroppedhiseyesonthegroundwithoutspeaking.Theywerealone,noonehadseenthem.Theguardhadturnedawayforthetime.
Howithappenedhedidnotknow.Butallatoncesomethingseemedtoseizehimandflinghimatherfeet.
Heweptandthrewhisarmsroundherknees.
Forthefirstinstantshewasterriblyfrightenedandsheturnedpale.
Shejumpedupandlookedathimtrembling.
Butatthesamemomentsheunderstood,andalightofinfinitehappinesscameintohereyes.
Sheknewandhadnodoubtthathelovedherbeyondeverythingandthatatlastthemomenthadcome….
Theywantedtospeak,butcouldnot;tearsstoodintheireyes.
Theywerebothpaleandthin;butthosesickpalefaceswerebrightwiththedawnofanewfuture,ofafullresurrectionintoanewlife.
Theywererenewedbylove;theheartofeachheldinfinitesourcesoflifefortheheartoftheother.
Theyresolvedtowaitandbepatient.Theyhadanothersevenyearstowait,andwhatterriblesufferingandwhatinfinitehappinessbeforethem!
Buthehadrisenagainandheknewitandfeltitinallhisbeing,whileshe—sheonlylivedinhislife.
Ontheeveningofthesameday,whenthebarrackswerelocked,Raskolnikovlayonhisplankbedandthoughtofher.
Hehadevenfanciedthatdaythatalltheconvictswhohadbeenhisenemieslookedathimdifferently;hehadevenenteredintotalkwiththemandtheyansweredhiminafriendlyway.
Herememberedthatnow,andthoughtitwasboundtobeso.
Wasn’teverythingnowboundtobechanged?
Hethoughtofher.Herememberedhowcontinuallyhehadtormentedherandwoundedherheart.
Herememberedherpaleandthinlittleface.
Buttheserecollectionsscarcelytroubledhimnow;heknewwithwhatinfinitelovehewouldnowrepayallhersufferings.
Andwhatwereall,alltheagoniesofthepast!
Everything,evenhiscrime,hissentenceandimprisonment,seemedtohimnowinthefirstrushoffeelinganexternal,strangefactwithwhichhehadnoconcern.
Buthecouldnotthinkforlongtogetherofanythingthatevening,andhecouldnothaveanalysedanythingconsciously;hewassimplyfeeling.
Lifehadsteppedintotheplaceoftheoryandsomethingquitedifferentwouldworkitselfoutinhismind.
UnderhispillowlaytheNewTestament.Hetookitupmechanically.
ThebookbelongedtoSonia;itwastheonefromwhichshehadreadtheraisingofLazarustohim.
Atfirsthewasafraidthatshewouldworryhimaboutreligion,wouldtalkaboutthegospelandpesterhimwithbooks.
ButtohisgreatsurpriseshehadnotonceapproachedthesubjectandhadnotevenofferedhimtheTestament.
Hehadaskedherforithimselfnotlongbeforehisillnessandshebroughthimthebookwithoutaword.Tillnowhehadnotopenedit.
Hedidnotopenitnow,butonethoughtpassedthroughhismind:“Canherconvictionsnotbeminenow?Herfeelings,heraspirationsatleast….”
Shetoohadbeengreatlyagitatedthatday,andatnightshewastakenillagain.
Butshewassohappy—andsounexpectedlyhappy—thatshewasalmostfrightenedofherhappiness.Sevenyears,onlysevenyears!
Atthebeginningoftheirhappinessatsomemomentstheywerebothreadytolookonthosesevenyearsasthoughtheyweresevendays.
Hedidnotknowthatthenewlifewouldnotbegivenhimfornothing,thathewouldhavetopaydearlyforit,thatitwouldcosthimgreatstriving,greatsuffering.
Butthatisthebeginningofanewstory—thestoryofthegradualrenewalofaman,thestoryofhisgradualregeneration,ofhispassingfromoneworldintoanother,ofhisinitiationintoanewunknownlife.
Thatmightbethesubjectofanewstory,butourpresentstoryisended.
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