English
“PyotrPetrovitch,”shecried,“protectme…youatleast!
Makethisfoolishwomanunderstandthatshecan’tbehavelikethistoaladyinmisfortune…thatthereisalawforsuchthings….
I’llgotothegovernor-generalhimself….Sheshallanswerforit….
Rememberingmyfather’shospitalityprotecttheseorphans.”
“Allowme,madam….Allowme.”PyotrPetrovitchwavedheroff.
“YourpapaasyouarewellawareIhadnotthehonourofknowing”(someonelaughedaloud)“andIdonotintendtotakepartinyoureverlastingsquabbleswithAmaliaIvanovna….
Ihavecomeheretospeakofmyownaffairs…andIwanttohaveawordwithyourstepdaughter,Sofya…Ivanovna,Ithinkitis?Allowmetopass.”
PyotrPetrovitch,edgingbyher,wenttotheoppositecornerwhereSoniawas.
KaterinaIvanovnaremainedstandingwhereshewas,asthoughthunderstruck.
ShecouldnotunderstandhowPyotrPetrovitchcoulddenyhavingenjoyedherfather’shospitality.
Thoughshehadinventeditherself,shebelievedinitfirmlybythistime.
Shewasstrucktoobythebusinesslike,dryandevencontemptuousmenacingtoneofPyotrPetrovitch.
Alltheclamourgraduallydiedawayathisentrance.
Notonlywasthis“seriousbusinessman”strikinglyincongruouswiththerestoftheparty,butitwasevident,too,thathehadcomeuponsomematterofconsequence,thatsomeexceptionalcausemusthavebroughthimandthatthereforesomethingwasgoingtohappen.
Raskolnikov,standingbesideSonia,movedasidetolethimpass;PyotrPetrovitchdidnotseemtonoticehim.
AminutelaterLebeziatnikov,too,appearedinthedoorway;hedidnotcomein,butstoodstill,listeningwithmarkedinterest,almostwonder,andseemedforatimeperplexed.
“Excusemeforpossiblyinterruptingyou,butit’samatterofsomeimportance,”PyotrPetrovitchobserved,addressingthecompanygenerally.
“Iamgladindeedtofindotherpersonspresent.
AmaliaIvanovna,IhumblybegyouasmistressofthehousetopaycarefulattentiontowhatIhavetosaytoSofyaIvanovna.
SofyaIvanovna,”hewenton,addressingSonia,whowasverymuchsurprisedandalreadyalarmed,“immediatelyafteryourvisitIfoundthatahundred-roublenotewasmissingfrommytable,intheroomofmyfriendMr.Lebeziatnikov.
Ifinanywaywhateveryouknowandwilltelluswhereitisnow,Iassureyouonmywordofhonourandcallallpresenttowitnessthatthemattershallendthere.
IntheoppositecaseIshallbecompelledtohaverecoursetoveryseriousmeasuresandthen…youmustblameyourself.”
Completesilencereignedintheroom.Eventhecryingchildrenwerestill.Soniastooddeadlypale,staringatLuzhinandunabletosayaword.Sheseemednottounderstand.Somesecondspassed.
“Well,howisittobethen?”askedLuzhin,lookingintentlyather.
“Idon’tknow….Iknownothingaboutit,”Soniaarticulatedfaintlyatlast.
“No,youknownothing?”Luzhinrepeatedandagainhepausedforsomeseconds.
“Thinkamoment,mademoiselle,”hebeganseverely,butstill,asitwere,admonishingher.
“Reflect,Iampreparedtogiveyoutimeforconsideration.
Kindlyobservethis:ifIwerenotsoentirelyconvincedIshouldnot,youmaybesure,withmyexperienceventuretoaccuseyousodirectly.
Seeingthatforsuchdirectaccusationbeforewitnesses,iffalseorevenmistaken,Ishouldmyselfinacertainsensebemaderesponsible,Iamawareofthat.
ThismorningIchangedformyownpurposesseveralfive-per-centsecuritiesforthesumofapproximatelythreethousandroubles.
Theaccountisnoteddowninmypocket-book.
OnmyreturnhomeIproceededtocountthemoney—asMr.Lebeziatnikovwillbearwitness—andaftercountingtwothousandthreehundredroublesIputtherestinmypocket-bookinmycoatpocket.
Aboutfivehundredroublesremainedonthetableandamongthemthreenotesofahundredroubleseach.
Atthatmomentyouentered(atmyinvitation)—andallthetimeyouwerepresentyouwereexceedinglyembarrassed;sothatthreetimesyoujumpedupinthemiddleoftheconversationandtriedtomakeoff.
Mr.Lebeziatnikovcanbearwitnesstothis.
Youyourself,mademoiselle,probablywillnotrefusetoconfirmmystatementthatIinvitedyouthroughMr.Lebeziatnikov,solelyinordertodiscusswithyouthehopelessanddestitutepositionofyourrelative,KaterinaIvanovna(whosedinnerIwasunabletoattend),andtheadvisabilityofgettingupsomethingofthenatureofasubscription,lotteryorthelike,forherbenefit.Youthankedmeandevenshedtears.
Idescribeallthisasittookplace,primarilytorecallittoyourmindandsecondlytoshowyouthatnottheslightestdetailhasescapedmyrecollection.
ThenItookaten-roublenotefromthetableandhandedittoyoubywayoffirstinstalmentonmypartforthebenefitofyourrelative.Mr.Lebeziatnikovsawallthis.
ThenIaccompaniedyoutothedoor—youbeingstillinthesamestateofembarrassment—afterwhich,beingleftalonewithMr.LebeziatnikovItalkedtohimfortenminutes—thenMr.LebeziatnikovwentoutandIreturnedtothetablewiththemoneylyingonit,intendingtocountitandtoputitaside,asIproposeddoingbefore.
Tomysurpriseonehundred-roublenotehaddisappeared.Kindlyconsidertheposition.Mr.LebeziatnikovIcannotsuspect.
Iamashamedtoalludetosuchasupposition.
Icannothavemadeamistakeinmyreckoning,fortheminutebeforeyourentranceIhadfinishedmyaccountsandfoundthetotalcorrect.
Youwilladmitthatrecollectingyourembarrassment,youreagernesstogetawayandthefactthatyoukeptyourhandsforsometimeonthetable,andtakingintoconsiderationyoursocialpositionandthehabitsassociatedwithit,Iwas,sotosay,withhorrorandpositivelyagainstmywill,compelledtoentertainasuspicion—acruel,butjustifiablesuspicion!
Iwilladdfurtherandrepeatthatinspiteofmypositiveconviction,IrealisethatIrunacertainriskinmakingthisaccusation,butasyousee,Icouldnotletitpass.
IhavetakenactionandIwilltellyouwhy:solely,madam,solely,owingtoyourblackingratitude!Why!
Iinviteyouforthebenefitofyourdestituterelative,Ipresentyouwithmydonationoftenroublesandyou,onthespot,repaymeforallthatwithsuchanaction.Itistoobad!Youneedalesson.Reflect!
Moreover,likeatruefriendIbegyou—andyoucouldhavenobetterfriendatthismoment—thinkwhatyouaredoing,otherwiseIshallbeimmovable!Well,whatdoyousay?”
“Ihavetakennothing,”Soniawhisperedinterror,“yougavemetenroubles,hereitis,takeit.”
Soniapulledherhandkerchiefoutofherpocket,untiedacornerofit,tookouttheten-roublenoteandgaveittoLuzhin.
“Andthehundredroublesyoudonotconfesstotaking?”heinsistedreproachfully,nottakingthenote.
Sonialookedabouther.Allwerelookingatherwithsuchawful,stern,ironical,hostileeyes.
ShelookedatRaskolnikov…hestoodagainstthewall,withhisarmscrossed,lookingatherwithglowingeyes.
“GoodGod!”brokefromSonia.
“AmaliaIvanovna,weshallhavetosendwordtothepoliceandthereforeIhumblybegyoumeanwhiletosendforthehouseporter,”Luzhinsaidsoftlyandevenkindly.
“GottderBarmherzige!Iknewshewasthethief,”criedAmaliaIvanovna,throwingupherhands.
“Youknewit?”Luzhincaughtherup,“thenIsupposeyouhadsomereasonbeforethisforthinkingso.
Ibegyou,worthyAmaliaIvanovna,torememberyourwordswhichhavebeenutteredbeforewitnesses.”
Therewasabuzzofloudconversationonallsides.Allwereinmovement.
“What!”criedKaterinaIvanovna,suddenlyrealisingtheposition,andsherushedatLuzhin.“What!Youaccuseherofstealing?Sonia?Ah,thewretches,thewretches!”
AndrunningtoSoniasheflungherwastedarmsroundherandheldherasinavise.
“Sonia!howdaredyoutaketenroublesfromhim?Foolishgirl!Giveittome!Givemethetenroublesatonce—here!”
AndsnatchingthenotefromSonia,KaterinaIvanovnacrumpleditupandflungitstraightintoLuzhin’sface.
Ithithimintheeyeandfellontheground.AmaliaIvanovnahastenedtopickitup.PyotrPetrovitchlosthistemper.
“Holdthatmadwoman!”heshouted.
Atthatmomentseveralotherpersons,besidesLebeziatnikov,appearedinthedoorway,amongthemthetwoladies.
“What!Mad?AmImad?Idiot!”shriekedKaterinaIvanovna.
“Youareanidiotyourself,pettifogginglawyer,baseman!Sonia,Soniatakehismoney!Soniaathief!Why,she’dgiveawayherlastpenny!”
andKaterinaIvanovnabrokeintohystericallaughter.“Didyoueverseesuchanidiot?”sheturnedfromsidetoside.“Andyoutoo?”
shesuddenlysawthelandlady,“andyoutoo,sausageeater,youdeclarethatsheisathief,youtrashyPrussianhen’sleginacrinoline!
Shehasn’tbeenoutofthisroom:shecamestraightfromyou,youwretch,andsatdownbesideme,everyonesawher.Shesathere,byRodionRomanovitch.Searchher!
Sinceshe’snotlefttheroom,themoneywouldhavetobeonher!Searchher,searchher!
Butifyoudon’tfindit,thenexcuseme,mydearfellow,you’llanswerforit!
I’llgotoourSovereign,toourSovereign,toourgraciousTsarhimself,andthrowmyselfathisfeet,to-day,thisminute!Iamaloneintheworld!Theywouldletmein!Doyouthinktheywouldn’t?You’rewrong,Iwillgetin!Iwillgetin!Youreckonedonhermeekness!Yourelieduponthat!
ButIamnotsosubmissive,letmetellyou!You’vegonetoofaryourself.Searchher,searchher!”
AndKaterinaIvanovnainafrenzyshookLuzhinanddraggedhimtowardsSonia.
“Iamready,I’llberesponsible…butcalmyourself,madam,calmyourself.Iseethatyouarenotsosubmissive!
...Well,well,butastothat…”Luzhinmuttered,“thatoughttobebeforethepolice…thoughindeedtherearewitnessesenoughasitis….Iamready….
Butinanycaseit’sdifficultforaman…onaccountofhersex….
ButwiththehelpofAmaliaIvanovna…though,ofcourse,it’snotthewaytodothings….Howisittobedone?”
“Asyouwill!Letanyonewholikessearchher!”criedKaterinaIvanovna.“Sonia,turnoutyourpockets!See!
Look,monster,thepocketisempty,herewasherhandkerchief!Hereistheotherpocket,look!D’yousee,d’yousee?”
AndKaterinaIvanovnaturned—orrathersnatched—bothpocketsinsideout.
ButfromtherightpocketapieceofpaperflewoutanddescribingaparabolaintheairfellatLuzhin’sfeet.Everyonesawit,severalcriedout.
PyotrPetrovitchstoopeddown,pickedupthepaperintwofingers,lifteditwhereallcouldseeitandopenedit.
Itwasahundred-roublenotefoldedineight.
PyotrPetrovitchheldupthenoteshowingittoeveryone.
“Thief!Outofmylodging.Police,police!”yelledAmaliaIvanovna.“TheymusttoSiberiabesent!Away!”
Exclamationsaroseonallsides.Raskolnikovwassilent,keepinghiseyesfixedonSonia,exceptforanoccasionalrapidglanceatLuzhin.
Soniastoodstill,asthoughunconscious.Shewashardlyabletofeelsurprise.
Suddenlythecolourrushedtohercheeks;sheutteredacryandhidherfaceinherhands.
“No,itwasn’tI!Ididn’ttakeit!
Iknownothingaboutit,”shecriedwithaheartrendingwail,andsherantoKaterinaIvanovna,whoclaspedhertightlyinherarms,asthoughshewouldshelterherfromalltheworld.
“Sonia!Sonia!Idon’tbelieveit!Yousee,Idon’tbelieveit!”
shecriedinthefaceoftheobviousfact,swayinghertoandfroinherarmslikeababy,kissingherfacecontinually,thensnatchingatherhandsandkissingthem,too,“youtookit!Howstupidthesepeopleare!Ohdear!
Youarefools,fools,”shecried,addressingthewholeroom,“youdon’tknow,youdon’tknowwhataheartshehas,whatagirlsheis!Shetakeit,she?
She’dsellherlastrag,she’dgobarefoottohelpyouifyouneededit,that’swhatsheis!
Shehastheyellowpassportbecausemychildrenwerestarving,shesoldherselfforus!Ah,husband,husband!Doyousee?Doyousee?Whatamemorialdinnerforyou!Mercifulheavens!
Defendher,whyareyouallstandingstill?
RodionRomanovitch,whydon’tyoustandupforher?Doyoubelieveit,too?
Youarenotworthherlittlefinger,allofyoutogether!GoodGod!Defendhernow,atleast!”
Thewailofthepoor,consumptive,helplesswomanseemedtoproduceagreateffectonheraudience.
Theagonised,wasted,consumptiveface,theparchedblood-stainedlips,thehoarsevoice,thetearsunrestrainedasachild’s,thetrustful,childishandyetdespairingprayerforhelpweresopiteousthateveryoneseemedtofeelforher.
PyotrPetrovitchatanyratewasatoncemovedtocompassion.
“Madam,madam,thisincidentdoesnotreflectuponyou!”
hecriedimpressively,“noonewouldtakeuponhimselftoaccuseyouofbeinganinstigatororevenanaccompliceinit,especiallyasyouhaveprovedherguiltbyturningoutherpockets,showingthatyouhadnopreviousideaofit.
Iammostready,mostreadytoshowcompassion,ifpoverty,sotospeak,droveSofyaSemyonovnatoit,butwhydidyourefusetoconfess,mademoiselle?Wereyouafraidofthedisgrace?Thefirststep?Youlostyourhead,perhaps?Onecanquiteunderstandit….
Buthowcouldyouhaveloweredyourselftosuchanaction?
Gentlemen,”headdressedthewholecompany,“gentlemen!
Compassionateand,sotosay,commiseratingthesepeople,Iamreadytooverlookitevennowinspiteofthepersonalinsultlavisheduponme!
Andmaythisdisgracebealessontoyouforthefuture,”hesaid,addressingSonia,“andIwillcarrythematternofurther.Enough!”
PyotrPetrovitchstoleaglanceatRaskolnikov.
Theireyesmet,andthefireinRaskolnikov’sseemedreadytoreducehimtoashes.
MeanwhileKaterinaIvanovnaapparentlyheardnothing.
ShewaskissingandhuggingSonialikeamadwoman.
Thechildren,too,wereembracingSoniaonallsides,andPolenka—thoughshedidnotfullyunderstandwhatwaswrong—wasdrownedintearsandshakingwithsobs,asshehidherprettylittleface,swollenwithweeping,onSonia’sshoulder.
“Howvile!”aloudvoicecriedsuddenlyinthedoorway.
PyotrPetrovitchlookedroundquickly.
“Whatvileness!”Lebeziatnikovrepeated,staringhimstraightintheface.
PyotrPetrovitchgaveapositivestart—allnoticeditandrecalleditafterwards.Lebeziatnikovstrodeintotheroom.
“Andyoudaredtocallmeaswitness?”hesaid,goinguptoPyotrPetrovitch.
“Whatdoyoumean?Whatareyoutalkingabout?”mutteredLuzhin.
“Imeanthatyou…areaslanderer,that’swhatmywordsmean!”Lebeziatnikovsaidhotly,lookingsternlyathimwithhisshort-sightedeyes.
Hewasextremelyangry.Raskolnikovgazedintentlyathim,asthoughseizingandweighingeachword.Againtherewasasilence.PyotrPetrovitchindeedseemedalmostdumbfoundedforthefirstmoment.
“Ifyoumeanthatforme,...”hebegan,stammering.“Butwhat’sthematterwithyou?Areyououtofyourmind?”
“I’minmymind,butyouareascoundrel!Ah,howvile!Ihaveheardeverything.
Ikeptwaitingonpurposetounderstandit,forImustownevennowitisnotquitelogical….
WhatyouhavedoneitallforIcan’tunderstand.”
“Why,whathaveIdonethen?Giveovertalkinginyournonsensicalriddles!Ormaybeyouaredrunk!”
“Youmaybeadrunkard,perhaps,vileman,butIamnot!
Inevertouchvodka,forit’sagainstmyconvictions.
Wouldyoubelieveit,he,hehimself,withhisownhandsgaveSofyaSemyonovnathathundred-roublenote—Isawit,Iwasawitness,I’lltakemyoath!Hedidit,he!”repeatedLebeziatnikov,addressingall.
“Areyoucrazy,milksop?”squealedLuzhin.“Sheisherselfbeforeyou—sheherselfheredeclaredjustnowbeforeeveryonethatIgaveheronlytenroubles.HowcouldIhavegivenittoher?”
“Isawit,Isawit,”Lebeziatnikovrepeated,“andthoughitisagainstmyprinciples,Iamreadythisveryminutetotakeanyoathyoulikebeforethecourt,forIsawhowyouslippeditinherpocket.
OnlylikeafoolIthoughtyoudiditoutofkindness!
Whenyouweresayinggood-byetoheratthedoor,whileyouheldherhandinonehand,withtheother,theleft,youslippedthenoteintoherpocket.Isawit,Isawit!”
Luzhinturnedpale.
“Whatlies!”hecriedimpudently,“why,howcouldyou,standingbythewindow,seethenote?Youfancieditwithyourshort-sightedeyes.Youareraving!”
“No,Ididn’tfancyit.AndthoughIwasstandingsomewayoff,Isawitall.
Andthoughitcertainlywouldbehardtodistinguishanotefromthewindow—that’strue—Iknewforcertainthatitwasahundred-roublenote,because,whenyouweregoingtogiveSofyaSemyonovnatenroubles,youtookupfromthetableahundred-roublenote(IsawitbecauseIwasstandingnearthen,andanideastruckmeatonce,sothatIdidnotforgetyouhaditinyourhand).
Youfoldeditandkeptitinyourhandallthetime.
Ididn’tthinkofitagainuntil,whenyouweregettingup,youchangeditfromyourrighthandtoyourleftandnearlydroppedit!
Inoticeditbecausethesameideastruckmeagain,thatyoumeanttodoherakindnesswithoutmyseeing.
YoucanfancyhowIwatchedyouandIsawhowyousucceededinslippingitintoherpocket.Isawit,Isawit,I’lltakemyoath.”
Lebeziatnikovwasalmostbreathless.Exclamationsaroseonallhandschieflyexpressiveofwonder,butsomeweremenacingintone.
TheyallcrowdedroundPyotrPetrovitch.
KaterinaIvanovnaflewtoLebeziatnikov.
“Iwasmistakeninyou!Protecther!Youaretheonlyonetotakeherpart!Sheisanorphan.Godhassentyou!”
KaterinaIvanovna,hardlyknowingwhatshewasdoing,sankonherkneesbeforehim.
“Apackofnonsense!”yelledLuzhin,rousedtofury,“it’sallnonsenseyou’vebeentalking!
‘Anideastruckyou,youdidn’tthink,younoticed’—whatdoesitamountto?
SoIgaveittoherontheslyonpurpose?Whatfor?Withwhatobject?WhathaveItodowiththis…?”
“Whatfor?That’swhatIcan’tunderstand,butthatwhatIamtellingyouisthefact,that’scertain!
Sofarfrommybeingmistaken,youinfamouscriminalman,Irememberhow,onaccountofit,aquestionoccurredtomeatonce,justwhenIwasthankingyouandpressingyourhand.
Whatmadeyouputitsecretlyinherpocket?Whyyoudiditsecretly,Imean?
Coulditbesimplytoconcealitfromme,knowingthatmyconvictionsareopposedtoyoursandthatIdonotapproveofprivatebenevolence,whicheffectsnoradicalcure?
Well,Idecidedthatyoureallywereashamedofgivingsuchalargesumbeforeme.
Perhaps,too,Ithought,hewantstogiveherasurprise,whenshefindsawholehundred-roublenoteinherpocket.
(ForIknow,somebenevolentpeopleareveryfondofdeckingouttheircharitableactionsinthatway.)
Thentheideastruckme,too,thatyouwantedtotesther,toseewhether,whenshefoundit,shewouldcometothankyou.
Then,too,thatyouwantedtoavoidthanksandthat,asthesayingis,yourrighthandshouldnotknow…somethingofthatsort,infact.
IthoughtofsomanypossibilitiesthatIputoffconsideringit,butstillthoughtitindelicatetoshowyouthatIknewyoursecret.
ButanotherideastruckmeagainthatSofyaSemyonovnamighteasilylosethemoneybeforeshenoticedit,thatwaswhyIdecidedtocomeinheretocallheroutoftheroomandtotellherthatyouputahundredroublesinherpocket.
ButonmywayIwentfirsttoMadameKobilatnikov’stotakethemthe‘GeneralTreatiseonthePositiveMethod’andespeciallytorecommendPiderit’sarticle(andalsoWagner’s);thenIcomeonhereandwhatastateofthingsIfind!
NowcouldI,couldI,havealltheseideasandreflectionsifIhadnotseenyouputthehundred-roublenoteinherpocket?”
WhenLebeziatnikovfinishedhislong-windedharanguewiththelogicaldeductionattheend,hewasquitetired,andtheperspirationstreamedfromhisface.
Hecouldnot,alas,evenexpresshimselfcorrectlyinRussian,thoughheknewnootherlanguage,sothathewasquiteexhausted,almostemaciatedafterthisheroicexploit.
Buthisspeechproducedapowerfuleffect.
Hehadspokenwithsuchvehemence,withsuchconvictionthateveryoneobviouslybelievedhim.
PyotrPetrovitchfeltthatthingsweregoingbadlywithhim.
“Whatisittodowithmeifsillyideasdidoccurtoyou?”heshouted,“that’snoevidence.Youmayhavedreamtit,that’sall!AndItellyou,youarelying,sir.
Youarelyingandslanderingfromsomespiteagainstme,simplyfrompique,becauseIdidnotagreewithyourfree-thinking,godless,socialpropositions!”
ButthisretortdidnotbenefitPyotrPetrovitch.Murmursofdisapprovalwereheardonallsides.
“Ah,that’syourlinenow,isit!”criedLebeziatnikov,“that’snonsense!CallthepoliceandI’lltakemyoath!
There’sonlyonethingIcan’tunderstand:whatmadehimrisksuchacontemptibleaction.Oh,pitiful,despicableman!”
“Icanexplainwhyheriskedsuchanaction,andifnecessary,I,too,willsweartoit,”Raskolnikovsaidatlastinafirmvoice,andhesteppedforward.
Heappearedtobefirmandcomposed.Everyonefeltclearly,fromtheverylookofhimthathereallyknewaboutitandthatthemysterywouldbesolved.
“NowIcanexplainitalltomyself,”saidRaskolnikov,addressingLebeziatnikov.
“Fromtheverybeginningofthebusiness,Isuspectedthattherewassomescoundrellyintrigueatthebottomofit.
Ibegantosuspectitfromsomespecialcircumstancesknowntomeonly,whichIwillexplainatoncetoeveryone:theyaccountforeverything.
Yourvaluableevidencehasfinallymadeeverythingcleartome.Ibegall,alltolisten.
Thisgentleman(hepointedtoLuzhin)wasrecentlyengagedtobemarriedtoayounglady—mysister,AvdotyaRomanovnaRaskolnikov.
ButcomingtoPetersburghequarrelledwithme,thedaybeforeyesterday,atourfirstmeetingandIdrovehimoutofmyroom—Ihavetwowitnessestoproveit.Heisaveryspitefulman….
ThedaybeforeyesterdayIdidnotknowthathewasstayinghere,inyourroom,andthatconsequentlyontheverydaywequarrelled—thedaybeforeyesterday—hesawmegiveKaterinaIvanovnasomemoneyforthefuneral,asafriendofthelateMr.Marmeladov.
HeatoncewroteanotetomymotherandinformedherthatIhadgivenawayallmymoney,nottoKaterinaIvanovnabuttoSofyaSemyonovna,andreferredinamostcontemptiblewaytothe…characterofSofyaSemyonovna,thatis,hintedatthecharacterofmyattitudetoSofyaSemyonovna.
Allthisyouunderstandwaswiththeobjectofdividingmefrommymotherandsister,byinsinuatingthatIwassquanderingonunworthyobjectsthemoneywhichtheyhadsentmeandwhichwasalltheyhad.
Yesterdayevening,beforemymotherandsisterandinhispresence,IdeclaredthatIhadgiventhemoneytoKaterinaIvanovnaforthefuneralandnottoSofyaSemyonovnaandthatIhadnoacquaintancewithSofyaSemyonovnaandhadneverseenherbefore,indeed.
AtthesametimeIaddedthathe,PyotrPetrovitchLuzhin,withallhisvirtues,wasnotworthSofyaSemyonovna’slittlefinger,thoughhespokesoillofher.
Tohisquestion—wouldIletSofyaSemyonovnasitdownbesidemysister,IansweredthatIhadalreadydonesothatday.
Irritatedthatmymotherandsisterwereunwillingtoquarrelwithmeathisinsinuations,hegraduallybeganbeingunpardonablyrudetothem.
Afinalrupturetookplaceandhewasturnedoutofthehouse.Allthishappenedyesterdayevening.
NowIbegyourspecialattention:consider:ifhehadnowsucceededinprovingthatSofyaSemyonovnawasathief,hewouldhaveshowntomymotherandsisterthathewasalmostrightinhissuspicions,thathehadreasontobeangryatmyputtingmysisteronalevelwithSofyaSemyonovna,that,inattackingme,hewasprotectingandpreservingthehonourofmysister,hisbetrothed.
Infacthemighteven,throughallthis,havebeenabletoestrangemefrommyfamily,andnodoubthehopedtoberestoredtofavourwiththem;tosaynothingofrevenginghimselfonmepersonally,forhehasgroundsforsupposingthatthehonourandhappinessofSofyaSemyonovnaareveryprecioustome.Thatwaswhathewasworkingfor!That’showIunderstandit.
That’sthewholereasonforitandtherecanbenoother!”
Itwaslikethis,orsomewhatlikethis,thatRaskolnikovwounduphisspeechwhichwasfollowedveryattentively,thoughofteninterruptedbyexclamationsfromhisaudience.
Butinspiteofinterruptionshespokeclearly,calmly,exactly,firmly.
Hisdecisivevoice,histoneofconvictionandhissternfacemadeagreatimpressiononeveryone.
“Yes,yes,that’sit,”Lebeziatnikovassentedgleefully,“thatmustbeit,forheaskedme,assoonasSofyaSemyonovnacameintoourroom,whetheryouwerehere,whetherIhadseenyouamongKaterinaIvanovna’sguests.
Hecalledmeasidetothewindowandaskedmeinsecret.
Itwasessentialforhimthatyoushouldbehere!That’sit,that’sit!”
Luzhinsmiledcontemptuouslyanddidnotspeak.Buthewasverypale.
Heseemedtobedeliberatingonsomemeansofescape.
Perhapshewouldhavebeengladtogiveupeverythingandgetaway,butatthemomentthiswasscarcelypossible.
Itwouldhaveimpliedadmittingthetruthoftheaccusationsbroughtagainsthim.
Moreover,thecompany,whichhadalreadybeenexcitedbydrink,wasnowtoomuchstirredtoallowit.
Thecommissariatclerk,thoughindeedhehadnotgraspedthewholeposition,wasshoutinglouderthananyoneandwasmakingsomesuggestionsveryunpleasanttoLuzhin.
Butnotallthosepresentweredrunk;lodgerscameinfromalltherooms.
ThethreePolesweretremendouslyexcitedandwerecontinuallyshoutingathim:“Thepanisalajdak!”andmutteringthreatsinPolish.
Soniahadbeenlisteningwithstrainedattention,thoughshetooseemedunabletograspitall;sheseemedasthoughshehadjustreturnedtoconsciousness.
ShedidnottakehereyesoffRaskolnikov,feelingthatallhersafetylayinhim.
KaterinaIvanovnabreathedhardandpainfullyandseemedfearfullyexhausted.
AmaliaIvanovnastoodlookingmorestupidthananyone,withhermouthwideopen,unabletomakeoutwhathadhappened.
SheonlysawthatPyotrPetrovitchhadsomehowcometogrief.
Raskolnikovwasattemptingtospeakagain,buttheydidnotlethim.
EveryonewascrowdingroundLuzhinwiththreatsandshoutsofabuse.
ButPyotrPetrovitchwasnotintimidated.
SeeingthathisaccusationofSoniahadcompletelyfailed,hehadrecoursetoinsolence:
“Allowme,gentlemen,allowme!Don’tsqueeze,letmepass!”
hesaid,makinghiswaythroughthecrowd.“Andnothreats,ifyouplease!
Iassureyouitwillbeuseless,youwillgainnothingbyit.
Onthecontrary,you’llhavetoanswer,gentlemen,forviolentlyobstructingthecourseofjustice.
Thethiefhasbeenmorethanunmasked,andIshallprosecute.
Ourjudgesarenotsoblindand…notsodrunk,andwillnotbelievethetestimonyoftwonotoriousinfidels,agitators,andatheists,whoaccusemefrommotivesofpersonalrevengewhichtheyarefoolishenoughtoadmit….Yes,allowmetopass!”
“Don’tletmefindatraceofyouinmyroom!
Kindlyleaveatonce,andeverythingisatanendbetweenus!
WhenIthinkofthetroubleI’vebeentaking,thewayI’vebeenexpounding…allthisfortnight!”
“Itoldyoumyselfto-daythatIwasgoing,whenyoutriedtokeepme;nowIwillsimplyaddthatyouareafool.
Iadviseyoutoseeadoctorforyourbrainsandyourshortsight.Letmepass,gentlemen!”
Heforcedhiswaythrough.Butthecommissariatclerkwasunwillingtolethimoffsoeasily:hepickedupaglassfromthetable,brandisheditintheairandflungitatPyotrPetrovitch;buttheglassflewstraightatAmaliaIvanovna.
Shescreamed,andtheclerk,overbalancing,fellheavilyunderthetable.
PyotrPetrovitchmadehiswaytohisroomandhalfanhourlaterhadleftthehouse.
Sonia,timidbynature,hadfeltbeforethatdaythatshecouldbeill-treatedmoreeasilythananyone,andthatshecouldbewrongedwithimpunity.
Yettillthatmomentshehadfanciedthatshemightescapemisfortunebycare,gentlenessandsubmissivenessbeforeeveryone.Herdisappointmentwastoogreat.
Shecould,ofcourse,bearwithpatienceandalmostwithoutmurmuranything,eventhis.
Butforthefirstminuteshefeltittoobitter.
Inspiteofhertriumphandherjustification—whenherfirstterrorandstupefactionhadpassedandshecouldunderstanditallclearly—thefeelingofherhelplessnessandofthewrongdonetohermadeherheartthrobwithanguishandshewasovercomewithhystericalweeping.
Atlast,unabletobearanymore,sherushedoutoftheroomandranhome,almostimmediatelyafterLuzhin’sdeparture.
WhenamidstloudlaughtertheglassflewatAmaliaIvanovna,itwasmorethanthelandladycouldendure.
WithashrieksherushedlikeafuryatKaterinaIvanovna,consideringhertoblameforeverything.
“Outofmylodgings!Atonce!Quickmarch!”
AndwiththesewordsshebegansnatchingupeverythingshecouldlayherhandsonthatbelongedtoKaterinaIvanovna,andthrowingitonthefloor.
KaterinaIvanovna,pale,almostfainting,andgaspingforbreath,jumpedupfromthebedwhereshehadsunkinexhaustionanddartedatAmaliaIvanovna.
Butthebattlewastoounequal:thelandladywavedherawaylikeafeather.
“What!Asthoughthatgodlesscalumnywasnotenough—thisvilecreatureattacksme!What!
Onthedayofmyhusband’sfuneralIamturnedoutofmylodging!
Aftereatingmybreadandsaltsheturnsmeintothestreet,withmyorphans!WhereamItogo?”
wailedthepoorwoman,sobbingandgasping.“GoodGod!”
shecriedwithflashingeyes,“istherenojusticeuponearth?
Whomshouldyouprotectifnotusorphans?Weshallsee!
Thereislawandjusticeonearth,thereis,Iwillfindit!Waitabit,godlesscreature!
Polenka,staywiththechildren,I’llcomeback.
Waitforme,ifyouhavetowaitinthestreet.
Wewillseewhetherthereisjusticeonearth!”
AndthrowingoverherheadthatgreenshawlwhichMarmeladovhadmentionedtoRaskolnikov,KaterinaIvanovnasqueezedherwaythroughthedisorderlyanddrunkencrowdoflodgerswhostillfilledtheroom,and,wailingandtearful,sheranintothestreet—withavagueintentionofgoingatoncesomewheretofindjustice.
Polenkawiththetwolittleonesinherarmscrouched,terrified,onthetrunkinthecorneroftheroom,whereshewaitedtremblingforhermothertocomeback.
AmaliaIvanovnaragedabouttheroom,shrieking,lamentingandthrowingeverythingshecameacrossonthefloor.
Thelodgerstalkedincoherently,somecommentedtothebestoftheirabilityonwhathadhappened,othersquarrelledandsworeatoneanother,whileothersstruckupasong….
“Nowit’stimeformetogo,”thoughtRaskolnikov.“Well,SofyaSemyonovna,weshallseewhatyou’llsaynow!”
AndhesetoffinthedirectionofSonia’slodgings.
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