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Thefactwasthatuptothelastmomenthehadneverexpectedsuchanending;hehadbeenoverbearingtothelastdegree,neverdreamingthattwodestituteanddefencelesswomencouldescapefromhiscontrol.
Thisconvictionwasstrengthenedbyhisvanityandconceit,aconceittothepointoffatuity.
PyotrPetrovitch,whohadmadehiswayupfrominsignificance,wasmorbidlygiventoself-admiration,hadthehighestopinionofhisintelligenceandcapacities,andsometimesevengloatedinsolitudeoverhisimageintheglass.
Butwhathelovedandvaluedaboveallwasthemoneyhehadamassedbyhislabour,andbyallsortsofdevices:thatmoneymadehimtheequalofallwhohadbeenhissuperiors.
WhenhehadbitterlyremindedDouniathathehaddecidedtotakeherinspiteofevilreport,PyotrPetrovitchhadspokenwithperfectsincerityandhad,indeed,feltgenuinelyindignantatsuch“blackingratitude.”
Andyet,whenhemadeDouniahisoffer,hewasfullyawareofthegroundlessnessofallthegossip.
ThestoryhadbeeneverywherecontradictedbyMarfaPetrovna,andwasbythendisbelievedbyallthetownspeople,whowerewarminDounia’adefence.
Andhewouldnothavedeniedthatheknewallthatatthetime.
YethestillthoughthighlyofhisownresolutioninliftingDouniatohislevelandregardeditassomethingheroic.
InspeakingofittoDounia,hehadletoutthesecretfeelinghecherishedandadmired,andhecouldnotunderstandthatothersshouldfailtoadmireittoo.
HehadcalledonRaskolnikovwiththefeelingsofabenefactorwhoisabouttoreapthefruitsofhisgooddeedsandtohearagreeableflattery.
Andashewentdownstairsnow,heconsideredhimselfmostundeservedlyinjuredandunrecognised.
Douniawassimplyessentialtohim;todowithoutherwasunthinkable.
Formanyyearshehadhadvoluptuousdreamsofmarriage,buthehadgoneonwaitingandamassingmoney.
Hebroodedwithrelish,inprofoundsecret,overtheimageofagirl—virtuous,poor(shemustbepoor),veryyoung,verypretty,ofgoodbirthandeducation,verytimid,onewhohadsufferedmuch,andwascompletelyhumbledbeforehim,onewhowouldallherlifelookonhimashersaviour,worshiphim,admirehimandonlyhim.
Howmanyscenes,howmanyamorousepisodeshehadimaginedonthisseductiveandplayfultheme,whenhisworkwasover!
And,behold,thedreamofsomanyyearswasallbutrealised;thebeautyandeducationofAvdotyaRomanovnahadimpressedhim;herhelplesspositionhadbeenagreatallurement;inherhehadfoundevenmorethanhedreamedof.
Herewasagirlofpride,character,virtue,ofeducationandbreedingsuperiortohisown(hefeltthat),andthiscreaturewouldbeslavishlygratefulallherlifeforhisheroiccondescension,andwouldhumbleherselfinthedustbeforehim,andhewouldhaveabsolute,unboundedpoweroverher!
...Notlongbefore,hehad,too,afterlongreflectionandhesitation,madeanimportantchangeinhiscareerandwasnowenteringonawidercircleofbusiness.
Withthischangehischerisheddreamsofrisingintoahigherclassofsocietyseemedlikelytoberealised….
Hewas,infact,determinedtotryhisfortuneinPetersburg.
Heknewthatwomencoulddoaverygreatdeal.
Thefascinationofacharming,virtuous,highlyeducatedwomanmightmakehiswayeasier,mightdowondersinattractingpeopletohim,throwinganaureoleroundhim,andnoweverythingwasinruins!
Thissuddenhorribleruptureaffectedhimlikeaclapofthunder;itwaslikeahideousjoke,anabsurdity.
Hehadonlybeenatinybitmasterful,hadnoteventimetospeakout,hadsimplymadeajoke,beencarriedaway—andithadendedsoseriously.
And,ofcourse,too,hedidloveDouniainhisownway;healreadypossessedherinhisdreams—andallatonce!No!
Thenextday,theverynextday,itmustallbesetright,smoothedover,settled.
Aboveallhemustcrushthatconceitedmilksopwhowasthecauseofitall.
WithasickfeelinghecouldnothelprecallingRazumihintoo,but,hesoonreassuredhimselfonthatscore;asthoughafellowlikethatcouldbeputonalevelwithhim!
ThemanhereallydreadedinearnestwasSvidrigailov….
Hehad,inshort,agreatdealtoattendto….
“No,I,Iammoretoblamethananyone!”
saidDounia,kissingandembracinghermother.
“Iwastemptedbyhismoney,butonmyhonour,brother,Ihadnoideahewassuchabaseman.
IfIhadseenthroughhimbefore,nothingwouldhavetemptedme!Don’tblameme,brother!”
“Godhasdeliveredus!Godhasdeliveredus!”PulcheriaAlexandrovnamuttered,buthalfconsciously,asthoughscarcelyabletorealisewhathadhappened.
Theywereallrelieved,andinfiveminutestheywerelaughing.
OnlynowandthenDouniaturnedwhiteandfrowned,rememberingwhathadpassed.
PulcheriaAlexandrovnawassurprisedtofindthatshe,too,wasglad:shehadonlythatmorningthoughtrupturewithLuzhinaterriblemisfortune.Razumihinwasdelighted.
Hedidnotyetdaretoexpresshisjoyfully,buthewasinafeverofexcitementasthoughaton-weighthadfallenoffhisheart.
Nowhehadtherighttodevotehislifetothem,toservethem….Anythingmighthappennow!
Buthefeltafraidtothinkoffurtherpossibilitiesanddarednotlethisimaginationrange.
ButRaskolnikovsatstillinthesameplace,almostsullenandindifferent.
ThoughhehadbeenthemostinsistentongettingridofLuzhin,heseemednowtheleastconcernedatwhathadhappened.
Douniacouldnothelpthinkingthathewasstillangrywithher,andPulcheriaAlexandrovnawatchedhimtimidly.
“WhatdidSvidrigailovsaytoyou?”saidDounia,approachinghim.
“Yes,yes!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna.
Raskolnikovraisedhishead.
“Hewantstomakeyouapresentoftenthousandroublesandhedesirestoseeyouonceinmypresence.”
“Seeher!Onnoaccount!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna.“Andhowdareheofferhermoney!”
ThenRaskolnikovrepeated(ratherdryly)hisconversationwithSvidrigailov,omittinghisaccountoftheghostlyvisitationsofMarfaPetrovna,wishingtoavoidallunnecessarytalk.
“Whatanswerdidyougivehim?”askedDounia.
“AtfirstIsaidIwouldnottakeanymessagetoyou.
Thenhesaidthathewoulddohisutmosttoobtainaninterviewwithyouwithoutmyhelp.
Heassuredmethathispassionforyouwasapassinginfatuation,nowhehasnofeelingforyou.Hedoesn’twantyoutomarryLuzhin….
Histalkwasaltogetherrathermuddled.”
“Howdoyouexplainhimtoyourself,Rodya?Howdidhestrikeyou?”
“ImustconfessIdon’tquiteunderstandhim.
Heoffersyoutenthousand,andyetsaysheisnotwelloff.
Hesaysheisgoingaway,andintenminutesheforgetshehassaidit.
Thenhesaysishegoingtobemarriedandhasalreadyfixedonthegirl….
Nodoubthehasamotive,andprobablyabadone.
Butit’soddthatheshouldbesoclumsyaboutitifhehadanydesignsagainstyou….
Ofcourse,Irefusedthismoneyonyouraccount,onceforall.
Altogether,Ithoughthimverystrange….Onemightalmostthinkhewasmad.
ButImaybemistaken;thatmayonlybethepartheassumes.
ThedeathofMarfaPetrovnaseemstohavemadeagreatimpressiononhim.”
“Godresthersoul,”exclaimedPulcheriaAlexandrovna.“Ishallalways,alwaysprayforher!
Whereshouldwebenow,Dounia,withoutthisthreethousand!
It’sasthoughithadfallenfromheaven!
Why,Rodya,thismorningwehadonlythreeroublesinourpocketandDouniaandIwerejustplanningtopawnherwatch,soastoavoidborrowingfromthatmanuntilheofferedhelp.”
DouniaseemedstrangelyimpressedbySvidrigailov’soffer.Shestillstoodmeditating.
“Hehasgotsometerribleplan,”shesaidinahalfwhispertoherself,almostshuddering.
Raskolnikovnoticedthisdisproportionateterror.
“IfancyIshallhavetoseehimmorethanonceagain,”hesaidtoDounia.
“Wewillwatchhim!Iwilltrackhimout!”criedRazumihin,vigorously.“Iwon’tlosesightofhim.Rodyahasgivenmeleave.Hesaidtomehimselfjustnow.‘Takecareofmysister.’
Willyougivemeleave,too,AvdotyaRomanovna?”
Douniasmiledandheldoutherhand,butthelookofanxietydidnotleaveherface.PulcheriaAlexandrovnagazedathertimidly,butthethreethousandroubleshadobviouslyasoothingeffectonher.
Aquarterofanhourlater,theywereallengagedinalivelyconversation.EvenRaskolnikovlistenedattentivelyforsometime,thoughhedidnottalk.Razumihinwasthespeaker.
“Andwhy,whyshouldyougoaway?”heflowedonecstatically.
“Andwhatareyoutodoinalittletown?
Thegreatthingis,youareallheretogetherandyouneedoneanother—youdoneedoneanother,believeme.Foratime,anyway….
Takemeintopartnership,andIassureyouwe’llplanacapitalenterprise.Listen!
I’llexplainitallindetailtoyou,thewholeproject!
Itallflashedintomyheadthismorning,beforeanythinghadhappened…Itellyouwhat;Ihaveanuncle,Imustintroducehimtoyou(amostaccommodatingandrespectableoldman).
Thisunclehasgotacapitalofathousandroubles,andhelivesonhispensionandhasnoneedofthatmoney.
Forthelasttwoyearshehasbeenbotheringmetoborrowitfromhimandpayhimsixpercent.interest.
Iknowwhatthatmeans;hesimplywantstohelpme.
LastyearIhadnoneedofit,butthisyearIresolvedtoborrowitassoonashearrived.
Thenyoulendmeanotherthousandofyourthreeandwehaveenoughforastart,sowe’llgointopartnership,andwhatarewegoingtodo?”
ThenRazumihinbegantounfoldhisproject,andheexplainedatlengththatalmostallourpublishersandbooksellersknownothingatallofwhattheyareselling,andforthatreasontheyareusuallybadpublishers,andthatanydecentpublicationspayasaruleandgiveaprofit,sometimesaconsiderableone.
Razumihinhad,indeed,beendreamingofsettingupasapublisher.
Forthelasttwoyearshehadbeenworkinginpublishers’offices,andknewthreeEuropeanlanguageswell,thoughhehadtoldRaskolnikovsixdaysbeforethathewas“schwach”inGermanwithanobjectofpersuadinghimtotakehalfhistranslationandhalfthepaymentforit.
Hehadtoldaliethen,andRaskolnikovknewhewaslying.
“Why,whyshouldweletourchanceslipwhenwehaveoneofthechiefmeansofsuccess—moneyofourown!”criedRazumihinwarmly.
“Ofcoursetherewillbealotofwork,butwewillwork,you,AvdotyaRomanovna,I,Rodion….
Yougetasplendidprofitonsomebooksnowadays!
Andthegreatpointofthebusinessisthatweshallknowjustwhatwantstranslating,andweshallbetranslating,publishing,learningallatonce.
IcanbeofusebecauseIhaveexperience.
FornearlytwoyearsI’vebeenscuttlingaboutamongthepublishers,andnowIknoweverydetailoftheirbusiness.
Youneednotbeasainttomakepots,believeme!
Andwhy,whyshouldweletourchanceslip!
Why,Iknow—andIkeptthesecret—twoorthreebookswhichonemightgetahundredroublessimplyforthinkingoftranslatingandpublishing.
Indeed,andIwouldnottakefivehundredfortheveryideaofoneofthem.Andwhatdoyouthink?
IfIweretotellapublisher,Idaresayhe’dhesitate—theyaresuchblockheads!
Andasforthebusinessside,printing,paper,selling,youtrusttome,Iknowmywayabout.
We’llbegininasmallwayandgoontoalarge.
Inanycaseitwillgetusourlivingandweshallgetbackourcapital.”
Dounia’seyesshone.
“Ilikewhatyouaresaying,DmitriProkofitch!”shesaid.
“Iknownothingaboutit,ofcourse,”putinPulcheriaAlexandrovna,“itmaybeagoodidea,butagainGodknows.It’snewanduntried.
Ofcourse,wemustremainhereatleastforatime.”ShelookedatRodya.
“Whatdoyouthink,brother?”saidDounia.
“Ithinkhe’sgotaverygoodidea,”heanswered.
“Ofcourse,it’stoosoontodreamofapublishingfirm,butwecertainlymightbringoutfiveorsixbooksandbesureofsuccess.
Iknowofonebookmyselfwhichwouldbesuretogowell.
Andasforhisbeingabletomanageit,there’snodoubtaboutthateither.Heknowsthebusiness….Butwecantalkitoverlater….”
“Hurrah!”criedRazumihin.
“Now,stay,there’saflathereinthishouse,belongingtothesameowner.
It’saspecialflatapart,notcommunicatingwiththeselodgings.
It’sfurnished,rentmoderate,threerooms.Supposeyoutakethemtobeginwith.
I’llpawnyourwatchto-morrowandbringyouthemoney,andeverythingcanbearrangedthen.
Youcanallthreelivetogether,andRodyawillbewithyou.Butwhereareyouoffto,Rodya?”
“What,Rodya,youaregoingalready?”PulcheriaAlexandrovnaaskedindismay.
“Atsuchaminute?”criedRazumihin.
Dounialookedatherbrotherwithincredulouswonder.Heheldhiscapinhishand,hewaspreparingtoleavethem.
“Onewouldthinkyouwereburyingmeorsayinggood-byeforever,”hesaidsomewhatoddly.
Heattemptedtosmile,butitdidnotturnoutasmile.
“Butwhoknows,perhapsitisthelasttimeweshallseeeachother…”heletslipaccidentally.
Itwaswhathewasthinking,anditsomehowwasutteredaloud.
“Whatisthematterwithyou?”criedhismother.
“Whereareyougoing,Rodya?”askedDouniaratherstrangely.
“Oh,I’mquiteobligedto…”heansweredvaguely,asthoughhesitatingwhathewouldsay.Buttherewasalookofsharpdeterminationinhiswhiteface.
“Imeanttosay…asIwascominghere…Imeanttotellyou,mother,andyou,Dounia,thatitwouldbebetterforustopartforatime.Ifeelill,Iamnotatpeace….
Iwillcomeafterwards,Iwillcomeofmyself…whenit’spossible.Irememberyouandloveyou….Leaveme,leavemealone.
Idecidedthisevenbefore…I’mabsolutelyresolvedonit.
Whatevermaycometome,whetherIcometoruinornot,Iwanttobealone.Forgetmealtogether,it’sbetter.Don’tinquireaboutme.
WhenIcan,I’llcomeofmyselfor…I’llsendforyou.
Perhapsitwillallcomeback,butnowifyouloveme,givemeup…elseIshallbegintohateyou,Ifeelit….Good-bye!”
“GoodGod!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna.Bothhismotherandhissisterwereterriblyalarmed.Razumihinwasalso.
“Rodya,Rodya,bereconciledwithus!Letusbeasbefore!”criedhispoormother.
Heturnedslowlytothedoorandslowlywentoutoftheroom.Douniaovertookhim.
“Brother,whatareyoudoingtomother?”shewhispered,hereyesflashingwithindignation.
Helookeddullyather.
“Nomatter,Ishallcome….I’mcoming,”hemutteredinanundertone,asthoughnotfullyconsciousofwhathewassaying,andhewentoutoftheroom.
“Wicked,heartlessegoist!”criedDounia.
“Heisinsane,butnotheartless.Heismad!Don’tyouseeit?You’reheartlessafterthat!”
Razumihinwhisperedinherear,squeezingherhandtightly.
“Ishallbebackdirectly,”heshoutedtothehorror-strickenmother,andheranoutoftheroom.
Raskolnikovwaswaitingforhimattheendofthepassage.
“Iknewyouwouldrunafterme,”hesaid.“Gobacktothem—bewiththem…bewiththemto-morrowandalways….I…perhapsIshallcome…ifIcan.Good-bye.”
Andwithoutholdingouthishandhewalkedaway.
“Butwhereareyougoing?Whatareyoudoing?What’sthematterwithyou?Howcanyougoonlikethis?”Razumihinmuttered,athiswits’end.
Raskolnikovstoppedoncemore.
“Onceforall,neveraskmeaboutanything.Ihavenothingtotellyou.Don’tcometoseeme.MaybeI’llcomehere….Leaveme,but_don’tleave_them.Doyouunderstandme?”
Itwasdarkinthecorridor,theywerestandingnearthelamp.
Foraminutetheywerelookingatoneanotherinsilence.
Razumihinrememberedthatminuteallhislife.
Raskolnikov’sburningandintenteyesgrewmorepenetratingeverymoment,piercingintohissoul,intohisconsciousness.SuddenlyRazumihinstarted.
Somethingstrange,asitwere,passedbetweenthem….
Someidea,somehint,asitwere,slipped,somethingawful,hideous,andsuddenlyunderstoodonbothsides….Razumihinturnedpale.
“Doyouunderstandnow?”saidRaskolnikov,hisfacetwitchingnervously.“Goback,gotothem,”hesaidsuddenly,andturningquickly,hewentoutofthehouse.
IwillnotattempttodescribehowRazumihinwentbacktotheladies,howhesoothedthem,howheprotestedthatRodyaneededrestinhisillness,protestedthatRodyawassuretocome,thathewouldcomeeveryday,thathewasvery,verymuchupset,thathemustnotbeirritated,thathe,Razumihin,wouldwatchoverhim,wouldgethimadoctor,thebestdoctor,aconsultation….
InfactfromthateveningRazumihintookhisplacewiththemasasonandabrother.
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