English
LateronRaskolnikovhappenedtofindoutwhythehucksterandhiswifehadinvitedLizaveta.
Itwasaveryordinarymatterandtherewasnothingexceptionalaboutit.
Afamilywhohadcometothetownandbeenreducedtopovertyweresellingtheirhouseholdgoodsandclothes,allwomen’sthings.
Asthethingswouldhavefetchedlittleinthemarket,theywerelookingforadealer.ThiswasLizaveta’sbusiness.
Sheundertooksuchjobsandwasfrequentlyemployed,asshewasveryhonestandalwaysfixedafairpriceandstucktoit.
Shespokeasarulelittleand,aswehavesaidalready,shewasverysubmissiveandtimid.
ButRaskolnikovhadbecomesuperstitiousoflate.
Thetracesofsuperstitionremainedinhimlongafter,andwerealmostineradicable.
Andinallthishewasalwaysafterwardsdisposedtoseesomethingstrangeandmysterious,asitwere,thepresenceofsomepeculiarinfluencesandcoincidences.
InthepreviouswinterastudentheknewcalledPokorev,whohadleftforHarkov,hadchancedinconversationtogivehimtheaddressofAlyonaIvanovna,theoldpawnbroker,incasehemightwanttopawnanything.
Foralongwhilehedidnotgotoher,forhehadlessonsandmanagedtogetalongsomehow.
Sixweeksagohehadrememberedtheaddress;hehadtwoarticlesthatcouldbepawned:hisfather’soldsilverwatchandalittlegoldringwiththreeredstones,apresentfromhissisteratparting.Hedecidedtotakethering.
Whenhefoundtheoldwomanhehadfeltaninsurmountablerepulsionforheratthefirstglance,thoughheknewnothingspecialabouther.
Hegottworoublesfromherandwentintoamiserablelittletavernonhiswayhome.
Heaskedfortea,satdownandsankintodeepthought.
Astrangeideawaspeckingathisbrainlikeachickenintheegg,andvery,verymuchabsorbedhim.
Almostbesidehimatthenexttabletherewassittingastudent,whomhedidnotknowandhadneverseen,andwithhimayoungofficer.
Theyhadplayedagameofbilliardsandbegandrinkingtea.
AllatonceheheardthestudentmentiontotheofficerthepawnbrokerAlyonaIvanovnaandgivehimheraddress.
ThisofitselfseemedstrangetoRaskolnikov;hehadjustcomefromherandhereatonceheheardhername.
Ofcourseitwasachance,buthecouldnotshakeoffaveryextraordinaryimpression,andheresomeoneseemedtobespeakingexpresslyforhim;thestudentbegantellinghisfriendvariousdetailsaboutAlyonaIvanovna.
“Sheisfirst-rate,”hesaid.“Youcanalwaysgetmoneyfromher.
SheisasrichasaJew,shecangiveyoufivethousandroublesatatimeandsheisnotabovetakingapledgeforarouble.
Lotsofourfellowshavehaddealingswithher.Butsheisanawfuloldharpy….”
Andhebegandescribinghowspitefulanduncertainshewas,howifyouwereonlyadaylatewithyourinterestthepledgewaslost;howshegaveaquarterofthevalueofanarticleandtookfiveandevensevenpercentamonthonitandsoon.
Thestudentchatteredon,sayingthatshehadasisterLizaveta,whomthewretchedlittlecreaturewascontinuallybeating,andkeptincompletebondagelikeasmallchild,thoughLizavetawasatleastsixfeethigh.
“There’saphenomenonforyou,”criedthestudentandhelaughed.
TheybegantalkingaboutLizaveta.ThestudentspokeaboutherwithapeculiarrelishandwascontinuallylaughingandtheofficerlistenedwithgreatinterestandaskedhimtosendLizavetatodosomemendingforhim.
Raskolnikovdidnotmissawordandlearnedeverythingabouther.
Lizavetawasyoungerthantheoldwomanandwasherhalf-sister,beingthechildofadifferentmother.Shewasthirty-five.
Sheworkeddayandnightforhersister,andbesidesdoingthecookingandthewashing,shedidsewingandworkedasacharwomanandgavehersisterallsheearned.
Shedidnotdaretoacceptanorderorjobofanykindwithouthersister’spermission.
Theoldwomanhadalreadymadeherwill,andLizavetaknewofit,andbythiswillshewouldnotgetafarthing;nothingbutthemovables,chairsandsoon;allthemoneywaslefttoamonasteryintheprovinceofN——,thatprayersmightbesaidforherinperpetuity.
Lizavetawasoflowerrankthanhersister,unmarriedandawfullyuncouthinappearance,remarkablytallwithlongfeetthatlookedasiftheywerebentoutwards.
Shealwaysworebatteredgoatskinshoes,andwascleaninherperson.
WhatthestudentexpressedmostsurpriseandamusementaboutwasthefactthatLizavetawascontinuallywithchild.
“Butyousaysheishideous?”observedtheofficer.
“Yes,sheissodark-skinnedandlookslikeasoldierdressedup,butyouknowsheisnotatallhideous.
Shehassuchagood-naturedfaceandeyes.Strikinglyso.
Andtheproofofitisthatlotsofpeopleareattractedbyher.
Sheissuchasoft,gentlecreature,readytoputupwithanything,alwayswilling,willingtodoanything.Andhersmileisreallyverysweet.”
“Youseemtofindherattractiveyourself,”laughedtheofficer.
“Fromherqueerness.No,I’lltellyouwhat.
Icouldkillthatdamnedoldwomanandmakeoffwithhermoney,Iassureyou,withoutthefaintestconscience-prick,”thestudentaddedwithwarmth.
TheofficerlaughedagainwhileRaskolnikovshuddered.Howstrangeitwas!
“Listen,Iwanttoaskyouaseriousquestion,”thestudentsaidhotly.
“Iwasjokingofcourse,butlookhere;ononesidewehaveastupid,senseless,worthless,spiteful,ailing,horridoldwoman,notsimplyuselessbutdoingactualmischief,whohasnotanideawhatsheislivingforherself,andwhowilldieinadayortwoinanycase.Youunderstand?Youunderstand?”
“Yes,yes,Iunderstand,”answeredtheofficer,watchinghisexcitedcompanionattentively.
“Well,listenthen.Ontheotherside,freshyounglivesthrownawayforwantofhelpandbythousands,oneveryside!
Ahundredthousandgooddeedscouldbedoneandhelped,onthatoldwoman’smoneywhichwillbeburiedinamonastery!
Hundreds,thousandsperhaps,mightbesetontherightpath;dozensoffamiliessavedfromdestitution,fromruin,fromvice,fromtheLockhospitals—andallwithhermoney.
Killher,takehermoneyandwiththehelpofitdevoteoneselftotheserviceofhumanityandthegoodofall.
Whatdoyouthink,wouldnotonetinycrimebewipedoutbythousandsofgooddeeds?
Foronelifethousandswouldbesavedfromcorruptionanddecay.
Onedeath,andahundredlivesinexchange—it’ssimplearithmetic!
Besides,whatvaluehasthelifeofthatsickly,stupid,ill-naturedoldwomaninthebalanceofexistence!
Nomorethanthelifeofalouse,ofablack-beetle,lessinfactbecausetheoldwomanisdoingharm.
Sheiswearingoutthelivesofothers;theotherdayshebitLizaveta’sfingeroutofspite;italmosthadtobeamputated.”
“Ofcourseshedoesnotdeservetolive,”remarkedtheofficer,“butthereitis,it’snature.”
“Oh,well,brother,butwehavetocorrectanddirectnature,and,butforthat,weshoulddrowninanoceanofprejudice.
Butforthat,therewouldneverhavebeenasinglegreatman.
Theytalkofduty,conscience—Idon’twanttosayanythingagainstdutyandconscience;—butthepointis,whatdowemeanbythem.
Stay,Ihaveanotherquestiontoaskyou.Listen!”
“No,youstay,I’llaskyouaquestion.Listen!”
“Well?”
“Youaretalkingandspeechifyingaway,buttellme,wouldyoukilltheoldwomanyourself?”
“Ofcoursenot!Iwasonlyarguingthejusticeofit….It’snothingtodowithme….”
“ButIthink,ifyouwouldnotdoityourself,there’snojusticeaboutit….Letushaveanothergame.”
Raskolnikovwasviolentlyagitated.Ofcourse,itwasallordinaryyouthfultalkandthought,suchashehadoftenheardbeforeindifferentformsandondifferentthemes.
Butwhyhadhehappenedtohearsuchadiscussionandsuchideasattheverymomentwhenhisownbrainwasjustconceiving…theverysameideas?
Andwhy,justatthemomentwhenhehadbroughtawaytheembryoofhisideafromtheoldwomanhadhedroppedatonceuponaconversationabouther?
Thiscoincidencealwaysseemedstrangetohim.
Thistrivialtalkinatavernhadanimmenseinfluenceonhiminhislateraction;asthoughtherehadreallybeeninitsomethingpreordained,someguidinghint….
OnreturningfromtheHayMarketheflunghimselfonthesofaandsatforawholehourwithoutstirring.
Meanwhileitgotdark;hehadnocandleand,indeed,itdidnotoccurtohimtolightup.
Hecouldneverrecollectwhetherhehadbeenthinkingaboutanythingatthattime.
Atlasthewasconsciousofhisformerfeverandshivering,andherealisedwithreliefthathecouldliedownonthesofa.
Soonheavy,leadensleepcameoverhim,asitwerecrushinghim.
Hesleptanextraordinarilylongtimeandwithoutdreaming.
Nastasya,comingintohisroomatteno’clockthenextmorning,haddifficultyinrousinghim.Shebroughthiminteaandbread.
Theteawasagainthesecondbrewandagaininherowntea-pot.
“Mygoodness,howhesleeps!”shecriedindignantly.“Andheisalwaysasleep.”
Hegotupwithaneffort.Hisheadached,hestoodup,tookaturninhisgarretandsankbackonthesofaagain.
“Goingtosleepagain,”criedNastasya.“Areyouill,eh?”
Hemadenoreply.
“Doyouwantsometea?”
“Afterwards,”hesaidwithaneffort,closinghiseyesagainandturningtothewall.
Nastasyastoodoverhim.
“Perhapshereallyisill,”shesaid,turnedandwentout.
Shecameinagainattwoo’clockwithsoup.Hewaslyingasbefore.Theteastooduntouched.
Nastasyafeltpositivelyoffendedandbeganwrathfullyrousinghim.
“Whyareyoulyinglikealog?”sheshouted,lookingathimwithrepulsion.
Hegotup,andsatdownagain,butsaidnothingandstaredatthefloor.
“Areyouillornot?”askedNastasyaandagainreceivednoanswer.“You’dbettergooutandgetabreathofair,”shesaidafterapause.“Willyoueatitornot?”
“Afterwards,”hesaidweakly.“Youcango.”
Andhemotionedherout.
Sheremainedalittlelonger,lookedathimwithcompassionandwentout.
Afewminutesafterwards,heraisedhiseyesandlookedforalongwhileattheteaandthesoup.Thenhetookthebread,tookupaspoonandbegantoeat.
Heatealittle,threeorfourspoonfuls,withoutappetite,asitweremechanically.Hisheadachedless.
Afterhismealhestretchedhimselfonthesofaagain,butnowhecouldnotsleep;helaywithoutstirring,withhisfaceinthepillow.
Hewashauntedbyday-dreamsandsuchstrangeday-dreams;inone,thatkeptrecurring,hefanciedthathewasinAfrica,inEgypt,insomesortofoasis.
Thecaravanwasresting,thecamelswerepeacefullylyingdown;thepalmsstoodallaroundinacompletecircle;allthepartywereatdinner.
Buthewasdrinkingwaterfromaspringwhichflowedgurglingcloseby.
Anditwassocool,itwaswonderful,wonderful,blue,coldwaterrunningamongtheparti-colouredstonesandoverthecleansandwhichglistenedhereandtherelikegold….Suddenlyheheardaclockstrike.
Hestarted,rousedhimself,raisedhishead,lookedoutofthewindow,andseeinghowlateitwas,suddenlyjumpedupwideawakeasthoughsomeonehadpulledhimoffthesofa.
Hecreptontiptoetothedoor,stealthilyopeneditandbeganlisteningonthestaircase.Hisheartbeatterribly.
Butallwasquietonthestairsasifeveryonewasasleep….
Itseemedtohimstrangeandmonstrousthathecouldhavesleptinsuchforgetfulnessfromthepreviousdayandhaddonenothing,hadpreparednothingyet….
Andmeanwhileperhapsithadstrucksix.
Andhisdrowsinessandstupefactionwerefollowedbyanextraordinary,feverish,asitweredistractedhaste.
Butthepreparationstobemadewerefew.
Heconcentratedallhisenergiesonthinkingofeverythingandforgettingnothing;andhisheartkeptbeatingandthumpingsothathecouldhardlybreathe.
Firsthehadtomakeanooseandsewitintohisovercoat—aworkofamoment.
Herummagedunderhispillowandpickedoutamongstthelinenstuffedawayunderit,awornout,oldunwashedshirt.
Fromitsragshetorealongstrip,acoupleofincheswideandaboutsixteenincheslong.
Hefoldedthisstripintwo,tookoffhiswide,strongsummerovercoatofsomestoutcottonmaterial(hisonlyoutergarment)andbegansewingthetwoendsoftheragontheinside,undertheleftarmhole.
Hishandsshookashesewed,buthediditsuccessfullysothatnothingshowedoutsidewhenheputthecoatonagain.
Theneedleandthreadhehadgotreadylongbeforeandtheylayonhistableinapieceofpaper.
Asforthenoose,itwasaveryingeniousdeviceofhisown;thenoosewasintendedfortheaxe.
Itwasimpossibleforhimtocarrytheaxethroughthestreetinhishands.
Andifhiddenunderhiscoathewouldstillhavehadtosupportitwithhishand,whichwouldhavebeennoticeable.
Nowhehadonlytoputtheheadoftheaxeinthenoose,anditwouldhangquietlyunderhisarmontheinside.
Puttinghishandinhiscoatpocket,hecouldholdtheendofthehandlealltheway,sothatitdidnotswing;andasthecoatwasveryfull,aregularsackinfact,itcouldnotbeseenfromoutsidethathewasholdingsomethingwiththehandthatwasinthepocket.
Thisnoose,too,hehaddesignedafortnightbefore.
Whenhehadfinishedwiththis,hethrusthishandintoalittleopeningbetweenhissofaandthefloor,fumbledintheleftcorneranddrewoutthepledge,whichhehadgotreadylongbeforeandhiddenthere.
Thispledgewas,however,onlyasmoothlyplanedpieceofwoodthesizeandthicknessofasilvercigarettecase.
Hepickedupthispieceofwoodinoneofhiswanderingsinacourtyardwheretherewassomesortofaworkshop.
Afterwardshehadaddedtothewoodathinsmoothpieceofiron,whichhehadalsopickedupatthesametimeinthestreet.
Puttingtheironwhichwasalittlethesmalleronthepieceofwood,hefastenedthemveryfirmly,crossingandre-crossingthethreadroundthem;thenwrappedthemcarefullyanddaintilyincleanwhitepaperandtieduptheparcelsothatitwouldbeverydifficulttountieit.
Thiswasinordertodiverttheattentionoftheoldwomanforatime,whileshewastryingtoundotheknot,andsotogainamoment.
Theironstripwasaddedtogiveweight,sothatthewomanmightnotguessthefirstminutethatthe“thing”wasmadeofwood.
Allthishadbeenstoredbyhimbeforehandunderthesofa.
Hehadonlyjustgotthepledgeoutwhenheheardsomeonesuddenlyaboutintheyard.
“Itstrucksixlongago.”
“Longago!MyGod!”
Herushedtothedoor,listened,caughtuphishatandbegantodescendhisthirteenstepscautiously,noiselessly,likeacat.
Hehadstillthemostimportantthingtodo—tostealtheaxefromthekitchen.
Thatthedeedmustbedonewithanaxehehaddecidedlongago.
Hehadalsoapocketpruning-knife,buthecouldnotrelyontheknifeandstilllessonhisownstrength,andsoresolvedfinallyontheaxe.
Wemaynoteinpassing,onepeculiarityinregardtoallthefinalresolutionstakenbyhiminthematter;theyhadonestrangecharacteristic:themorefinaltheywere,themorehideousandthemoreabsurdtheyatoncebecameinhiseyes.
Inspiteofallhisagonisinginwardstruggle,heneverforasingleinstantallthattimecouldbelieveinthecarryingoutofhisplans.
And,indeed,ifithadeverhappenedthateverythingtotheleastpointcouldhavebeenconsideredandfinallysettled,andnouncertaintyofanykindhadremained,hewould,itseems,haverenounceditallassomethingabsurd,monstrousandimpossible.
Butawholemassofunsettledpointsanduncertaintiesremained.
Asforgettingtheaxe,thattriflingbusinesscosthimnoanxiety,fornothingcouldbeeasier.
Nastasyawascontinuallyoutofthehouse,especiallyintheevenings;shewouldrunintotheneighboursortoashop,andalwaysleftthedoorajar.
Itwastheonethingthelandladywasalwaysscoldingherabout.
Andso,whenthetimecame,hewouldonlyhavetogoquietlyintothekitchenandtotaketheaxe,andanhourlater(wheneverythingwasover)goinandputitbackagain.Buttheseweredoubtfulpoints.
Supposinghereturnedanhourlatertoputitback,andNastasyahadcomebackandwasonthespot.
Hewouldofcoursehavetogobyandwaittillshewentoutagain.
Butsupposingshewereinthemeantimetomisstheaxe,lookforit,makeanoutcry—thatwouldmeansuspicionoratleastgroundsforsuspicion.
Butthosewerealltrifleswhichhehadnotevenbeguntoconsider,andindeedhehadnotime.
Hewasthinkingofthechiefpoint,andputofftriflingdetails,untilhecouldbelieveinitall.Butthatseemedutterlyunattainable.Soitseemedtohimselfatleast.
Hecouldnotimagine,forinstance,thathewouldsometimeleaveoffthinking,getupandsimplygothere….
Evenhislateexperiment(i.e.hisvisitwiththeobjectofafinalsurveyoftheplace)wassimplyanattemptatanexperiment,farfrombeingtherealthing,asthoughoneshouldsay“come,letusgoandtryit—whydreamaboutit!”
—andatoncehehadbrokendownandhadrunawaycursing,inafrenzywithhimself.
Meanwhileitwouldseem,asregardsthemoralquestion,thathisanalysiswascomplete;hiscasuistryhadbecomekeenasarazor,andhecouldnotfindrationalobjectionsinhimself.
Butinthelastresorthesimplyceasedtobelieveinhimself,anddoggedly,slavishlysoughtargumentsinalldirections,fumblingforthem,asthoughsomeonewereforcinganddrawinghimtoit.
Atfirst—longbeforeindeed—hehadbeenmuchoccupiedwithonequestion;whyalmostallcrimesaresobadlyconcealedandsoeasilydetected,andwhyalmostallcriminalsleavesuchobvioustraces?
Hehadcomegraduallytomanydifferentandcuriousconclusions,andinhisopinionthechiefreasonlaynotsomuchinthematerialimpossibilityofconcealingthecrime,asinthecriminalhimself.
Almosteverycriminalissubjecttoafailureofwillandreasoningpowerbyachildishandphenomenalheedlessness,attheveryinstantwhenprudenceandcautionaremostessential.
Itwashisconvictionthatthiseclipseofreasonandfailureofwillpowerattackedamanlikeadisease,developedgraduallyandreacheditshighestpointjustbeforetheperpetrationofthecrime,continuedwithequalviolenceatthemomentofthecrimeandforlongerorshortertimeafter,accordingtotheindividualcase,andthenpassedofflikeanyotherdisease.
Thequestionwhetherthediseasegivesrisetothecrime,orwhetherthecrimefromitsownpeculiarnatureisalwaysaccompaniedbysomethingofthenatureofdisease,hedidnotyetfeelabletodecide.
Whenhereachedtheseconclusions,hedecidedthatinhisowncasetherecouldnotbesuchamorbidreaction,thathisreasonandwillwouldremainunimpairedatthetimeofcarryingouthisdesign,forthesimplereasonthathisdesignwas“notacrime….”
Wewillomitalltheprocessbymeansofwhichhearrivedatthislastconclusion;wehaveruntoofaraheadalready….
Wemayaddonlythatthepractical,purelymaterialdifficultiesoftheaffairoccupiedasecondarypositioninhismind.
“Onehasbuttokeepallone’swill-powerandreasontodealwiththem,andtheywillallbeovercomeatthetimewhenonceonehasfamiliarisedoneselfwiththeminutestdetailsofthebusiness….”
Butthispreparationhadneverbeenbegun.
Hisfinaldecisionswerewhathecametotrustleast,andwhenthehourstruck,itallcametopassquitedifferently,asitwereaccidentallyandunexpectedly.
Onetriflingcircumstanceupsethiscalculations,beforehehadevenleftthestaircase.
Whenhereachedthelandlady’skitchen,thedoorofwhichwasopenasusual,heglancedcautiouslyintoseewhether,inNastasya’sabsence,thelandladyherselfwasthere,orifnot,whetherthedoortoherownroomwasclosed,sothatshemightnotpeepoutwhenhewentinfortheaxe.
ButwhatwashisamazementwhenhesuddenlysawthatNastasyawasnotonlyathomeinthekitchen,butwasoccupiedthere,takinglinenoutofabasketandhangingitonaline.
Seeinghim,sheleftoffhangingtheclothes,turnedtohimandstaredathimallthetimehewaspassing.
Heturnedawayhiseyes,andwalkedpastasthoughhenoticednothing.
Butitwastheendofeverything;hehadnottheaxe!Hewasoverwhelmed.
“Whatmademethink,”hereflected,ashewentunderthegateway,“whatmademethinkthatshewouldbesurenottobeathomeatthatmoment!Why,why,whydidIassumethissocertainly?”
Hewascrushedandevenhumiliated.Hecouldhavelaughedathimselfinhisanger….Adullanimalrageboiledwithinhim.
Hestoodhesitatinginthegateway.Togointothestreet,togoawalkforappearance’sakewasrevolting;togobacktohisroom,evenmorerevolting.
“AndwhatachanceIhavelostforever!”
hemuttered,standingaimlesslyinthegateway,justoppositetheporter’slittledarkroom,whichwasalsoopen.Suddenlyhestarted.
Fromtheporter’sroom,twopacesawayfromhim,somethingshiningunderthebenchtotherightcaughthiseye….Helookedabouthim—nobody.
Heapproachedtheroomontiptoe,wentdowntwostepsintoitandinafaintvoicecalledtheporter.“Yes,notathome!
Somewherenearthough,intheyard,forthedooriswideopen.”
Hedashedtotheaxe(itwasanaxe)andpulleditoutfromunderthebench,whereitlaybetweentwochunksofwood;atonce,beforegoingout,hemadeitfastinthenoose,hethrustbothhandsintohispocketsandwentoutoftheroom;noonehadnoticedhim!“Whenreasonfails,thedevilhelps!”hethoughtwithastrangegrin.
Thischanceraisedhisspiritsextraordinarily.
Hewalkedalongquietlyandsedately,withouthurry,toavoidawakeningsuspicion.
Hescarcelylookedatthepassers-by,triedtoescapelookingattheirfacesatall,andtobeaslittlenoticeableaspossible.Suddenlyhethoughtofhishat.“Goodheavens!
Ihadthemoneythedaybeforeyesterdayanddidnotgetacaptowearinstead!”
Acurserosefromthebottomofhissoul.
Glancingoutofthecornerofhiseyeintoashop,hesawbyaclockonthewallthatitwastenminutespastseven.
Hehadtomakehasteandatthesametimetogosomewayround,soastoapproachthehousefromtheotherside….
Whenhehadhappenedtoimagineallthisbeforehand,hehadsometimesthoughtthathewouldbeverymuchafraid.
Buthewasnotverymuchafraidnow,wasnotafraidatall,indeed.
Hismindwasevenoccupiedbyirrelevantmatters,butbynothingforlong.
AshepassedtheYusupovgarden,hewasdeeplyabsorbedinconsideringthebuildingofgreatfountains,andoftheirrefreshingeffectontheatmosphereinallthesquares.
BydegreeshepassedtotheconvictionthatifthesummergardenwereextendedtothefieldofMars,andperhapsjoinedtothegardenoftheMihailovskyPalace,itwouldbeasplendidthingandagreatbenefittothetown.
Thenhewasinterestedbythequestionwhyinallgreattownsmenarenotsimplydrivenbynecessity,butinsomepeculiarwayinclinedtoliveinthosepartsofthetownwheretherearenogardensnorfountains;wherethereismostdirtandsmellandallsortsofnastiness.
ThenhisownwalksthroughtheHayMarketcamebacktohismind,andforamomenthewakeduptoreality.“Whatnonsense!”
hethought,“betterthinkofnothingatall!”
“Soprobablymenledtoexecutionclutchmentallyateveryobjectthatmeetsthemontheway,”flashedthroughhismind,butsimplyflashed,likelightning;hemadehastetodismissthisthought….
Andbynowhewasnear;herewasthehouse,herewasthegate.Suddenlyaclocksomewherestruckonce.“What!canitbehalf-pastseven?Impossible,itmustbefast!”
Luckilyforhim,everythingwentwellagainatthegates.
Atthatverymoment,asthoughexpresslyforhisbenefit,ahugewaggonofhayhadjustdriveninatthegate,completelyscreeninghimashepassedunderthegateway,andthewaggonhadscarcelyhadtimetodrivethroughintotheyard,beforehehadslippedinaflashtotheright.
Ontheothersideofthewaggonhecouldhearshoutingandquarrelling;butnoonenoticedhimandnoonemethim.
Manywindowslookingintothathugequadrangularyardwereopenatthatmoment,buthedidnotraisehishead—hehadnotthestrengthto.
Thestaircaseleadingtotheoldwoman’sroomwascloseby,justontherightofthegateway.Hewasalreadyonthestairs….
Drawingabreath,pressinghishandagainsthisthrobbingheart,andoncemorefeelingfortheaxeandsettingitstraight,hebegansoftlyandcautiouslyascendingthestairs,listeningeveryminute.
Butthestairs,too,werequitedeserted;allthedoorswereshut;hemetnoone.
Oneflatindeedonthefirstfloorwaswideopenandpainterswereatworkinit,buttheydidnotglanceathim.
Hestoodstill,thoughtaminuteandwenton.
“Ofcourseitwouldbebetteriftheyhadnotbeenhere,but…it’stwostoreysabovethem.”
Andtherewasthefourthstorey,herewasthedoor,herewastheflatopposite,theemptyone.
Theflatunderneaththeoldwoman’swasapparentlyemptyalso;thevisitingcardnailedonthedoorhadbeentornoff—theyhadgoneaway!...Hewasoutofbreath.
Foroneinstantthethoughtfloatedthroughhismind“ShallIgoback?”
Buthemadenoanswerandbeganlisteningattheoldwoman’sdoor,adeadsilence.
Thenhelistenedagainonthestaircase,listenedlongandintently…thenlookedabouthimforthelasttime,pulledhimselftogether,drewhimselfup,andoncemoretriedtheaxeinthenoose.“AmIverypale?”hewondered.“AmInotevidentlyagitated?Sheismistrustful….
HadIbetterwaitalittlelonger…tillmyheartleavesoffthumping?”
Buthisheartdidnotleaveoff.Onthecontrary,asthoughtospitehim,itthrobbedmoreandmoreviolently.
Hecouldstanditnolonger,heslowlyputouthishandtothebellandrang.
Halfaminutelaterherangagain,moreloudly.
Noanswer.Togoonringingwasuselessandoutofplace.
Theoldwomanwas,ofcourse,athome,butshewassuspiciousandalone.
Hehadsomeknowledgeofherhabits…andoncemoreheputhiseartothedoor.
Eitherhissenseswerepeculiarlykeen(whichitisdifficulttosuppose),orthesoundwasreallyverydistinct.
Anyway,hesuddenlyheardsomethinglikethecautioustouchofahandonthelockandtherustleofaskirtattheverydoor.
Someonewasstandingstealthilyclosetothelockandjustashewasdoingontheoutsidewassecretlylisteningwithin,andseemedtohavehereartothedoor….
Hemovedalittleonpurposeandmutteredsomethingaloudthathemightnothavetheappearanceofhiding,thenrangathirdtime,butquietly,soberly,andwithoutimpatience,Recallingitafterwards,thatmomentstoodoutinhismindvividly,distinctly,forever;hecouldnotmakeouthowhehadhadsuchcunning,forhismindwasasitwerecloudedatmomentsandhewasalmostunconsciousofhisbody….
Aninstantlaterheheardthelatchunfastened.
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