English
Marillawenttotownthenextdayandreturnedintheevening.
AnnehadgoneovertoOrchardSlopewithDianaandcamebacktofindMarillainthekitchen,sittingbythetablewithherheadleaningonherhand.
SomethinginherdejectedattitudestruckachilltoAnne’sheart.
ShehadneverseenMarillasitlimplyinertlikethat.
“Areyouverytired,Marilla?”
“Yes—no—Idon’tknow,”saidMarillawearily,lookingup.“IsupposeIamtiredbutIhaven’tthoughtaboutit.It’snotthat.”
“Didyouseetheoculist?Whatdidhesay?”askedAnneanxiously.
“Yes,Isawhim.Heexaminedmyeyes.
HesaysthatifIgiveupallreadingandsewingentirelyandanykindofworkthatstrainstheeyes,andifI’mcarefulnottocry,andifIweartheglasseshe’sgivenmehethinksmyeyesmaynotgetanyworseandmyheadacheswillbecured.
ButifIdon’thesaysI’llcertainlybestone-blindinsixmonths.Blind!Anne,justthinkofit!”
ForaminuteAnne,afterherfirstquickexclamationofdismay,wassilent.ItseemedtoherthatshecouldNOTspeak.Thenshesaidbravely,butwithacatchinhervoice:
“Marilla,DON’Tthinkofit.Youknowhehasgivenyouhope.Ifyouarecarefulyouwon’tloseyoursightaltogether;andifhisglassescureyourheadachesitwillbeagreatthing.”
“Idon’tcallitmuchhope,”saidMarillabitterly.
“WhatamItoliveforifIcan’treadorsewordoanythinglikethat?Imightaswellbeblind—ordead.
Andasforcrying,Ican’thelpthatwhenIgetlonesome.
Butthere,it’snogoodtalkingaboutit.
Ifyou’llgetmeacupofteaI’llbethankful.I’maboutdoneout.
Don’tsayanythingaboutthistoanyoneforaspellyet,anyway.
Ican’tbearthatfolksshouldcomeheretoquestionandsympathizeandtalkaboutit.”
WhenMarillahadeatenherlunchAnnepersuadedhertogotobed.
ThenAnnewentherselftotheeastgableandsatdownbyherwindowinthedarknessalonewithhertearsandherheavinessofheart.
Howsadlythingshadchangedsinceshehadsattherethenightaftercominghome!
Thenshehadbeenfullofhopeandjoyandthefuturehadlookedrosywithpromise.
Annefeltasifshehadlivedyearssincethen,butbeforeshewenttobedtherewasasmileonherlipsandpeaceinherheart.
Shehadlookedherdutycourageouslyinthefaceandfounditafriend—asdutyeveriswhenwemeetitfrankly.
OneafternoonafewdayslaterMarillacameslowlyinfromthefrontyardwhereshehadbeentalkingtoacaller—amanwhomAnneknewbysightasSadlerfromCarmody.
AnnewonderedwhathecouldhavebeensayingtobringthatlooktoMarilla’sface.
“WhatdidMr.Sadlerwant,Marilla?”
MarillasatdownbythewindowandlookedatAnne.Thereweretearsinhereyesindefianceoftheoculist’sprohibitionandhervoicebrokeasshesaid:
“HeheardthatIwasgoingtosellGreenGablesandhewantstobuyit.”
“Buyit!BuyGreenGables?”Annewonderedifshehadheardaright.“Oh,Marilla,youdon’tmeantosellGreenGables!”
“Anne,Idon’tknowwhatelseistobedone.I’vethoughtitallover.
IfmyeyeswerestrongIcouldstayhereandmakeouttolookafterthingsandmanage,withagoodhiredman.ButasitisIcan’t.
Imaylosemysightaltogether;andanywayI’llnotbefittorunthings.
Oh,IneverthoughtI’dlivetoseethedaywhenI’dhavetosellmyhome.
Butthingswouldonlygobehindworseandworseallthetime,tillnobodywouldwanttobuyit.
Everycentofourmoneywentinthatbank;andthere’ssomenotesMatthewgavelastfalltopay.
Mrs.Lyndeadvisesmetosellthefarmandboardsomewhere—withherIsuppose.
Itwon’tbringmuch—it’ssmallandthebuildingsareold.
Butit’llbeenoughformetoliveonIreckon.
I’mthankfulyou’reprovidedforwiththatscholarship,Anne.
I’msorryyouwon’thaveahometocometoinyourvacations,that’sall,butIsupposeyou’llmanagesomehow.”
Marillabrokedownandweptbitterly.
“Youmustn’tsellGreenGables,”saidAnneresolutely.
“Oh,Anne,IwishIdidn’thaveto.Butyoucanseeforyourself.Ican’tstayherealone.I’dgocrazywithtroubleandloneliness.Andmysightwouldgo—Iknowitwould.”
“Youwon’thavetostayherealone,Marilla.I’llbewithyou.I’mnotgoingtoRedmond.”
“NotgoingtoRedmond!”MarillaliftedherwornfacefromherhandsandlookedatAnne.“Why,whatdoyoumean?”
“JustwhatIsay.I’mnotgoingtotakethescholarship.
Idecidedsothenightafteryoucamehomefromtown.
Yousurelydon’tthinkIcouldleaveyoualoneinyourtrouble,Marilla,afterallyou’vedoneforme.I’vebeenthinkingandplanning.Letmetellyoumyplans.
Mr.Barrywantstorentthefarmfornextyear.Soyouwon’thaveanybotheroverthat.AndI’mgoingtoteach.
I’veappliedfortheschoolhere—butIdon’texpecttogetitforIunderstandthetrusteeshavepromisedittoGilbertBlythe.
ButIcanhavetheCarmodyschool—Mr.Blairtoldmesolastnightatthestore.
Ofcoursethatwon’tbequiteasniceorconvenientasifIhadtheAvonleaschool.
ButIcanboardhomeanddrivemyselfovertoCarmodyandback,inthewarmweatheratleast.
AndeveninwinterIcancomehomeFridays.We’llkeepahorseforthat.Oh,Ihaveitallplannedout,Marilla.
AndI’llreadtoyouandkeepyoucheeredup.Yousha’n’tbedullorlonesome.
Andwe’llberealcozyandhappyheretogether,youandI.”
Marillahadlistenedlikeawomaninadream.
“Oh,Anne,Icouldgetonrealwellifyouwerehere,Iknow.ButIcan’tletyousacrificeyourselfsoforme.Itwouldbeterrible.”
“Nonsense!”Annelaughedmerrily.“Thereisnosacrifice.
NothingcouldbeworsethangivingupGreenGables—nothingcouldhurtmemore.Wemustkeepthedearoldplace.Mymindisquitemadeup,Marilla.
I’mNOTgoingtoRedmond;andIAMgoingtostayhereandteach.Don’tyouworryaboutmeabit.”
“Butyourambitions—and—”
“I’mjustasambitiousasever.Only,I’vechangedtheobjectofmyambitions.
I’mgoingtobeagoodteacher—andI’mgoingtosaveyoureyesight.
Besides,Imeantostudyathomehereandtakealittlecollegecourseallbymyself.Oh,I’vedozensofplans,Marilla.I’vebeenthinkingthemoutforaweek.
Ishallgivelifeheremybest,andIbelieveitwillgiveitsbesttomeinreturn.
WhenIleftQueen’smyfutureseemedtostretchoutbeforemelikeastraightroad.
IthoughtIcouldseealongitformanyamilestone.Nowthereisabendinit.
Idon’tknowwhatliesaroundthebend,butI’mgoingtobelievethatthebestdoes.
Ithasafascinationofitsown,thatbend,Marilla.
Iwonderhowtheroadbeyonditgoes—whatthereisofgreengloryandsoft,checkeredlightandshadows—whatnewlandscapes—whatnewbeauties—whatcurvesandhillsandvalleysfurtheron.”
“Idon’tfeelasifIoughttoletyougiveitup,”saidMarilla,referringtothescholarship.
“Butyoucan’tpreventme.I’msixteenandahalf,‘obstinateasamule,’asMrs.Lyndeoncetoldme,”laughedAnne.“Oh,Marilla,don’tyougopityingme.
Idon’tliketobepitied,andthereisnoneedforit.
I’mheartgladovertheverythoughtofstayingatdearGreenGables.
NobodycouldloveitasyouandIdo—sowemustkeepit.”
“Youblessedgirl!”saidMarilla,yielding.“Ifeelasifyou’dgivenmenewlife.
IguessIoughttostickoutandmakeyougotocollege—butIknowIcan’t,soIain’tgoingtotry.I’llmakeituptoyouthough,Anne.”
WhenitbecamenoisedabroadinAvonleathatAnneShirleyhadgivenuptheideaofgoingtocollegeandintendedtostayhomeandteachtherewasagooddealofdiscussionoverit.
Mostofthegoodfolks,notknowingaboutMarilla’seyes,thoughtshewasfoolish.Mrs.Allandidnot.
ShetoldAnnesoinapprovingwordsthatbroughttearsofpleasuretothegirl’seyes.NeitherdidgoodMrs.Lynde.
ShecameuponeeveningandfoundAnneandMarillasittingatthefrontdoorinthewarm,scentedsummerdusk.
Theylikedtosittherewhenthetwilightcamedownandthewhitemothsflewaboutinthegardenandtheodorofmintfilledthedewyair.
Mrs.Racheldepositedhersubstantialpersonuponthestonebenchbythedoor,behindwhichgrewarowoftallpinkandyellowhollyhocks,withalongbreathofmingledwearinessandrelief.
“IdeclareI’mgettinggladtositdown.
I’vebeenonmyfeetallday,andtwohundredpoundsisagoodbitfortwofeettocarryround.
It’sagreatblessingnottobefat,Marilla.Ihopeyouappreciateit.
Well,Anne,Ihearyou’vegivenupyournotionofgoingtocollege.Iwasrealgladtohearit.
You’vegotasmucheducationnowasawomancanbecomfortablewith.
Idon’tbelieveingirlsgoingtocollegewiththemenandcrammingtheirheadsfullofLatinandGreekandallthatnonsense.”
“ButI’mgoingtostudyLatinandGreekjustthesame,Mrs.Lynde,”saidAnnelaughing.“I’mgoingtotakemyArtscourserighthereatGreenGables,andstudyeverythingthatIwouldatcollege.”
Mrs.Lyndeliftedherhandsinholyhorror.
“AnneShirley,you’llkillyourself.”
“Notabitofit.Ishallthriveonit.Oh,I’mnotgoingtooverdothings.
As‘JosiahAllen’swife,’says,Ishallbe‘mejum’.
ButI’llhavelotsofsparetimeinthelongwinterevenings,andI’venovocationforfancywork.
I’mgoingtoteachoveratCarmody,youknow.”
“Idon’tknowit.Iguessyou’regoingtoteachrighthereinAvonlea.Thetrusteeshavedecidedtogiveyoutheschool.”
“Mrs.Lynde!”criedAnne,springingtoherfeetinhersurprise.“Why,IthoughttheyhadpromisedittoGilbertBlythe!”
“Sotheydid.ButassoonasGilbertheardthatyouhadappliedforithewenttothem—theyhadabusinessmeetingattheschoollastnight,youknow—andtoldthemthathewithdrewhisapplication,andsuggestedthattheyacceptyours.
HesaidhewasgoingtoteachatWhiteSands.
OfcourseheknewhowmuchyouwantedtostaywithMarilla,andImustsayIthinkitwasrealkindandthoughtfulinhim,that’swhat.
Realself-sacrificing,too,forhe’llhavehisboardtopayatWhiteSands,andeverybodyknowshe’sgottoearnhisownwaythroughcollege.Sothetrusteesdecidedtotakeyou.
IwastickledtodeathwhenThomascamehomeandtoldme.”
“Idon’tfeelthatIoughttotakeit,”murmuredAnne.“Imean—Idon’tthinkIoughttoletGilbertmakesuchasacrificefor—forme.”
“Iguessyoucan’tpreventhimnow.He’ssignedpaperswiththeWhiteSandstrustees.
Soitwouldn’tdohimanygoodnowifyouweretorefuse.Ofcourseyou’lltaketheschool.
You’llgetalongallright,nowthattherearenoPyesgoing.
Josiewasthelastofthem,andagoodthingshewas,that’swhat.
There’sbeensomePyeorothergoingtoAvonleaschoolforthelasttwentyyears,andIguesstheirmissioninlifewastokeepschoolteachersremindedthatearthisn’ttheirhome.Blessmyheart!
WhatdoesallthatwinkingandblinkingattheBarrygablemean?”
“Dianaissignalingformetogoover,”laughedAnne.“Youknowwekeepuptheoldcustom.ExcusemewhileIrunoverandseewhatshewants.”
Annerandownthecloverslopelikeadeer,anddisappearedinthefirryshadowsoftheHauntedWood.Mrs.Lyndelookedafterherindulgently.
“There’sagooddealofthechildaboutheryetinsomeways.”
“There’sagooddealmoreofthewomanaboutherinothers,”retortedMarilla,withamomentaryreturnofheroldcrispness.
ButcrispnesswasnolongerMarilla’sdistinguishingcharacteristic.AsMrs.LyndetoldherThomasthatnight.
“MarillaCuthberthasgotMELLOW.That’swhat.”
AnnewenttothelittleAvonleagraveyardthenexteveningtoputfreshflowersonMatthew’sgraveandwatertheScotchrosebush.
Shelingeredthereuntildusk,likingthepeaceandcalmofthelittleplace,withitspoplarswhoserustlewaslikelow,friendlyspeech,anditswhisperinggrassesgrowingatwillamongthegraves.
WhenshefinallyleftitandwalkeddownthelonghillthatslopedtotheLakeofShiningWatersitwaspastsunsetandallAvonlealaybeforeherinadreamlikeafterlight—”ahauntofancientpeace.”
Therewasafreshnessintheairasofawindthathadblownoverhoney-sweetfieldsofclover.
Homelightstwinkledouthereandthereamongthehomesteadtrees.
Beyondlaythesea,mistyandpurple,withitshaunting,unceasingmurmur.
Thewestwasagloryofsoftmingledhues,andthepondreflectedthemallinstillsoftershadings.
ThebeautyofitallthrilledAnne’sheart,andshegratefullyopenedthegatesofhersoultoit.
“Dearoldworld,”shemurmured,“youareverylovely,andIamgladtobealiveinyou.”
HalfwaydownthehillatallladcamewhistlingoutofagatebeforetheBlythehomestead.
ItwasGilbert,andthewhistlediedonhislipsasherecognizedAnne.
Heliftedhiscapcourteously,buthewouldhavepassedoninsilence,ifAnnehadnotstoppedandheldoutherhand.
“Gilbert,”shesaid,withscarletcheeks,“Iwanttothankyouforgivinguptheschoolforme.Itwasverygoodofyou—andIwantyoutoknowthatIappreciateit.”
Gilberttooktheofferedhandeagerly.
“Itwasn’tparticularlygoodofmeatall,Anne.Iwaspleasedtobeabletodoyousomesmallservice.Arewegoingtobefriendsafterthis?Haveyoureallyforgivenmemyoldfault?”
Annelaughedandtriedunsuccessfullytowithdrawherhand.
“Iforgaveyouthatdaybythepondlanding,althoughIdidn’tknowit.WhatastubbornlittlegooseIwas.I’vebeen—Imayaswellmakeacompleteconfession—I’vebeensorryeversince.”
“Wearegoingtobethebestoffriends,”saidGilbert,jubilantly.“Wewereborntobegoodfriends,Anne.You’vethwarteddestinyenough.
Iknowwecanhelpeachotherinmanyways.
Youaregoingtokeepupyourstudies,aren’tyou?
SoamI.Come,I’mgoingtowalkhomewithyou.”
MarillalookedcuriouslyatAnnewhenthelatterenteredthekitchen.
“Whowasthatcameupthelanewithyou,Anne?”
“GilbertBlythe,”answeredAnne,vexedtofindherselfblushing.“ImethimonBarry’shill.”
“Ididn’tthinkyouandGilbertBlytheweresuchgoodfriendsthatyou’dstandforhalfanhouratthegatetalkingtohim,”saidMarillawithadrysmile.
“Wehaven’tbeen—we’vebeengoodenemies.
Butwehavedecidedthatitwillbemuchmoresensibletobegoodfriendsinthefuture.Werewereallytherehalfanhour?Itseemedjustafewminutes.
But,yousee,wehavefiveyears’lostconversationstocatchupwith,Marilla.”
Annesatlongatherwindowthatnightcompanionedbyagladcontent.
Thewindpurredsoftlyinthecherryboughs,andthemintbreathscameuptoher.
ThestarstwinkledoverthepointedfirsinthehollowandDiana’slightgleamedthroughtheoldgap.
Anne’shorizonshadclosedinsincethenightshehadsatthereaftercominghomefromQueen’s;butifthepathsetbeforeherfeetwastobenarrowsheknewthatflowersofquiethappinesswouldbloomalongit.
Thejoyofsincereworkandworthyaspirationandcongenialfriendshipweretobehers;nothingcouldrobherofherbirthrightoffancyorheridealworldofdreams.
Andtherewasalwaysthebendintheroad!
”’God’sinhisheaven,all’srightwiththeworld,’”whisperedAnnesoftly.softly.
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