English
MarillasaidnothingtoMatthewabouttheaffairthatevening;butwhenAnneprovedstillrefractorythenextmorninganexplanationhadtobemadetoaccountforherabsencefromthebreakfasttable.
MarillatoldMatthewthewholestory,takingpainstoimpresshimwithaduesenseoftheenormityofAnne’sbehavior.
“It’sagoodthingRachelLyndegotacallingdown;she’sameddlesomeoldgossip,”wasMatthew’sconsolatoryrejoinder.
“MatthewCuthbert,I’mastonishedatyou.YouknowthatAnne’sbehaviorwasdreadful,andyetyoutakeherpart!Isupposeyou’llbesayingnextthingthatsheoughtn’ttobepunishedatall!”
“Wellnow—no—notexactly,”saidMatthewuneasily.
“Ireckonsheoughttobepunishedalittle.Butdon’tbetoohardonher,Marilla.
Recollectshehasn’teverhadanyonetoteachherright.
You’re—you’regoingtogivehersomethingtoeat,aren’tyou?”
“Whendidyoueverhearofmestarvingpeopleintogoodbehavior?”demandedMarillaindignantly.
“She’llhavehermealsregular,andI’llcarrythemuptohermyself.
Butshe’llstayupthereuntilshe’swillingtoapologizetoMrs.Lynde,andthat’sfinal,Matthew.”
Breakfast,dinner,andsupperwereverysilentmeals—forAnnestillremainedobdurate.
AftereachmealMarillacarriedawell-filledtraytotheeastgableandbroughtitdownlateronnotnoticeablydepleted.
Mattheweyeditslastdescentwithatroubledeye.HadAnneeatenanythingatall?
WhenMarillawentoutthateveningtobringthecowsfromthebackpasture,Matthew,whohadbeenhangingaboutthebarnsandwatching,slippedintothehousewiththeairofaburglarandcreptupstairs.
AsageneralthingMatthewgravitatedbetweenthekitchenandthelittlebedroomoffthehallwhereheslept;onceinawhileheventureduncomfortablyintotheparlororsittingroomwhentheministercametotea.
ButhehadneverbeenupstairsinhisownhousesincethespringhehelpedMarillapaperthesparebedroom,andthatwasfouryearsago.
Hetiptoedalongthehallandstoodforseveralminutesoutsidethedooroftheeastgablebeforehesummonedcouragetotaponitwithhisfingersandthenopenthedoortopeepin.
Annewassittingontheyellowchairbythewindowgazingmournfullyoutintothegarden.
Verysmallandunhappyshelooked,andMatthew’sheartsmotehim.
Hesoftlyclosedthedoorandtiptoedovertoher.
“Anne,”hewhispered,asifafraidofbeingoverheard,“howareyoumakingit,Anne?”
Annesmiledwanly.
“Prettywell.Iimagineagooddeal,andthathelpstopassthetime.Ofcourse,it’sratherlonesome.Butthen,Imayaswellgetusedtothat.”
Annesmiledagain,bravelyfacingthelongyearsofsolitaryimprisonmentbeforeher.
Matthewrecollectedthathemustsaywhathehadcometosaywithoutlossoftime,lestMarillareturnprematurely.
“Wellnow,Anne,don’tyouthinkyou’dbetterdoitandhaveitoverwith?”hewhispered.
“It’llhavetobedonesoonerorlater,youknow,forMarilla’sadreadfuldeter-minedwoman—dreadfuldetermined,Anne.
Doitrightoff,Isay,andhaveitover.”
“DoyoumeanapologizetoMrs.Lynde?”
“Yes—apologize—that’stheveryword,”saidMattheweagerly.“Justsmoothitoversotospeak.That’swhatIwastryingtogetat.”
“IsupposeIcoulddoittoobligeyou,”saidAnnethoughtfully.
“ItwouldbetrueenoughtosayIamsorry,becauseIAMsorrynow.Iwasn’tabitsorrylastnight.
Iwasmadclearthrough,andIstayedmadallnight.
IknowIdidbecauseIwokeupthreetimesandIwasjustfuriouseverytime.Butthismorningitwasover.
Iwasn’tinatemperanymore—anditleftadreadfulsortofgoneness,too.Ifeltsoashamedofmyself.
ButIjustcouldn’tthinkofgoingandtellingMrs.Lyndeso.Itwouldbesohumiliating.
ImadeupmymindI’dstayshutuphereforeverratherthandothat.
Butstill—I’ddoanythingforyou—ifyoureallywantmeto—”
“Wellnow,ofcourseIdo.It’sterriblelonesomedownstairswithoutyou.Justgoandsmooththingsover—that’sagoodgirl.”
“Verywell,”saidAnneresignedly.“I’lltellMarillaassoonasshecomesinI’verepented.”
“That’sright—that’sright,Anne.Butdon’ttellMarillaIsaidanythingaboutit.ShemightthinkIwasputtingmyoarinandIpromisednottodothat.”
“Wildhorseswon’tdragthesecretfromme,”promisedAnnesolemnly.“Howwouldwildhorsesdragasecretfromapersonanyhow?”
ButMatthewwasgone,scaredathisownsuccess.
HefledhastilytotheremotestcornerofthehorsepasturelestMarillashouldsuspectwhathehadbeenupto.
Marillaherself,uponherreturntothehouse,wasagreeablysurprisedtohearaplaintivevoicecalling,“Marilla”overthebanisters.
“Well?”shesaid,goingintothehall.
“I’msorryIlostmytemperandsaidrudethings,andI’mwillingtogoandtellMrs.Lyndeso.”
“Verywell.”Marilla’scrispnessgavenosignofherrelief.ShehadbeenwonderingwhatunderthecanopysheshoulddoifAnnedidnotgivein.“I’lltakeyoudownaftermilking.”
Accordingly,aftermilking,beholdMarillaandAnnewalkingdownthelane,theformererectandtriumphant,thelatterdroopinganddejected.
ButhalfwaydownAnne’sdejectionvanishedasifbyenchantment.
Sheliftedherheadandsteppedlightlyalong,hereyesfixedonthesunsetskyandanairofsubduedexhilarationabouther.
Marillabeheldthechangedisapprovingly.
ThiswasnomeekpenitentsuchasitbehoovedhertotakeintothepresenceoftheoffendedMrs.Lynde.
“Whatareyouthinkingof,Anne?”sheaskedsharply.
“I’mimaginingoutwhatImustsaytoMrs.Lynde,”answeredAnnedreamily.
Thiswassatisfactory—orshouldhavebeenso.
ButMarillacouldnotridherselfofthenotionthatsomethinginherschemeofpunishmentwasgoingaskew.
Annehadnobusinesstolooksoraptandradiant.
RaptandradiantAnnecontinueduntiltheywereintheverypresenceofMrs.Lynde,whowassittingknittingbyherkitchenwindow.Thentheradiancevanished.
Mournfulpenitenceappearedoneveryfeature.
BeforeawordwasspokenAnnesuddenlywentdownonherkneesbeforetheastonishedMrs.Rachelandheldoutherhandsbeseechingly.
“Oh,Mrs.Lynde,Iamsoextremelysorry,”shesaidwithaquiverinhervoice.
“Icouldneverexpressallmysorrow,no,notifIusedupawholedictionary.Youmustjustimagineit.
Ibehavedterriblytoyou—andI’vedisgracedthedearfriends,MatthewandMarilla,whohaveletmestayatGreenGablesalthoughI’mnotaboy.
I’madreadfullywickedandungratefulgirl,andIdeservetobepunishedandcastoutbyrespectablepeopleforever.
Itwasverywickedofmetoflyintoatemperbecauseyoutoldmethetruth.
ItWASthetruth;everywordyousaidwastrue.
MyhairisredandI’mfreckledandskinnyandugly.
WhatIsaidtoyouwastrue,too,butIshouldn’thavesaidit.
Oh,Mrs.Lynde,please,please,forgiveme.
Ifyourefuseitwillbealifelongsorrowonapoorlittleorphangirl,wouldyou,evenifshehadadreadfultemper?Oh,Iamsureyouwouldn’t.Pleasesayyouforgiveme,Mrs.Lynde.”
Anneclaspedherhandstogether,bowedherhead,andwaitedforthewordofjudgment.
Therewasnomistakinghersincerity—itbreathedineverytoneofhervoice.
BothMarillaandMrs.Lynderecognizeditsunmistakablering.
Buttheformerunder-stoodindismaythatAnnewasactuallyenjoyinghervalleyofhumiliation—wasrevelinginthethoroughnessofherabasement.
Wherewasthewholesomepunishmentuponwhichshe,Marilla,hadplumedherself?
Annehadturneditintoaspeciesofpositivepleasure.
GoodMrs.Lynde,notbeingoverburdenedwithperception,didnotseethis.
SheonlyperceivedthatAnnehadmadeaverythoroughapologyandallresentmentvanishedfromherkindly,ifsomewhatofficious,heart.
“There,there,getup,child,”shesaidheartily.“OfcourseIforgiveyou.
IguessIwasalittletoohardonyou,anyway.ButI’msuchanoutspokenperson.Youjustmustn’tmindme,that’swhat.
Itcan’tbedeniedyourhairisterriblered;butIknewagirlonce—wenttoschoolwithher,infact—whosehairwaseverymiteasredasyourswhenshewasyoung,butwhenshegrewupitdarkenedtoarealhandsomeauburn.
Iwouldn’tbeamitesurprisedifyoursdid,too—notamite.”
“Oh,Mrs.Lynde!”Annedrewalongbreathassherosetoherfeet.“Youhavegivenmeahope.
Ishallalwaysfeelthatyouareabenefactor.
Oh,IcouldendureanythingifIonlythoughtmyhairwouldbeahandsomeauburnwhenIgrewup.
Itwouldbesomucheasiertobegoodifone’shairwasahandsomeauburn,don’tyouthink?
AndnowmayIgooutintoyourgardenandsitonthatbenchundertheapple-treeswhileyouandMarillaaretalking?
Thereissomuchmorescopeforimaginationoutthere.”
“Laws,yes,runalong,child.AndyoucanpickabouquetofthemwhiteJuneliliesoverinthecornerifyoulike.”
AsthedoorclosedbehindAnneMrs.Lyndegotbrisklyuptolightalamp.
“She’sarealoddlittlething.Takethischair,Marilla;it’seasierthantheoneyou’vegot;Ijustkeepthatforthehiredboytositon.
Yes,shecertainlyisanoddchild,butthereissomethingkindoftakingaboutherafterall.
Idon’tfeelsosurprisedatyouandMatthewkeepingherasIdid—norsosorryforyou,either.Shemayturnoutallright.
Ofcourse,shehasaqueerwayofexpressingherself—alittletoo—well,tookindofforcible,youknow;butshe’lllikelygetoverthatnowthatshe’scometoliveamongcivilizedfolks.
Andthen,hertemper’sprettyquick,Iguess;butthere’sonecomfort,achildthathasaquicktemper,justblazeupandcooldown,ain’tneverlikelytobeslyordeceitful.
Preservemefromaslychild,that’swhat.
Onthewhole,Marilla,Ikindoflikeher.”
WhenMarillawenthomeAnnecameoutofthefragranttwilightoftheorchardwithasheafofwhitenarcissiinherhands.
“Iapologizedprettywell,didn’tI?”shesaidproudlyastheywentdownthelane.“IthoughtsinceIhadtodoitImightaswelldoitthoroughly.”
“Youdiditthoroughly,allrightenough,”wasMarilla’scomment.
Marillawasdismayedatfindingherselfinclinedtolaughovertherecollection.
ShehadalsoanuneasyfeelingthatsheoughttoscoldAnneforapologizingsowell;butthen,thatwasridiculous!
Shecompromisedwithherconsciencebysayingseverely:
“Ihopeyouwon’thaveoccasiontomakemanymoresuchapologies.Ihopeyou’lltrytocontrolyourtempernow,Anne.”
“Thatwouldn’tbesohardifpeoplewouldn’ttwitmeaboutmylooks,”saidAnnewithasigh.
“Idon’tgetcrossaboutotherthings;butI’mSOtiredofbeingtwittedaboutmyhairanditjustmakesmeboilrightover.
DoyousupposemyhairwillreallybeahandsomeauburnwhenIgrowup?”
“Youshouldn’tthinksomuchaboutyourlooks,Anne.I’mafraidyouareaveryvainlittlegirl.”
“HowcanIbevainwhenIknowI’mhomely?”protestedAnne.
“Iloveprettythings;andIhatetolookintheglassandseesomethingthatisn’tpretty.
Itmakesmefeelsosorrowful—justasIfeelwhenIlookatanyuglything.Ipityitbecauseitisn’tbeautiful.”
“Handsomeisashandsomedoes,”quotedMarilla.
“I’vehadthatsaidtomebefore,butIhavemydoubtsaboutit,”remarkedskepticalAnne,sniffingathernarcissi.“Oh,aren’ttheseflowerssweet!
ItwaslovelyofMrs.Lyndetogivethemtome.
IhavenohardfeelingsagainstMrs.Lyndenow.
Itgivesyoualovely,comfortablefeelingtoapologizeandbeforgiven,doesn’tit?Aren’tthestarsbrighttonight?
Ifyoucouldliveinastar,whichonewouldyoupick?
I’dlikethatlovelyclearbigoneawayoverthereabovethatdarkhill.”
“Anne,doholdyourtongue.”saidMarilla,thoroughlywornouttryingtofollowthegyrationsofAnne’sthoughts.
Annesaidnomoreuntiltheyturnedintotheirownlane.
Alittlegypsywindcamedownittomeetthem,ladenwiththespicyperfumeofyoungdew-wetferns.
FarupintheshadowsacheerfullightgleamedoutthroughthetreesfromthekitchenatGreenGables.
AnnesuddenlycameclosetoMarillaandslippedherhandintotheolderwoman’shardpalm.
“It’slovelytobegoinghomeandknowit’shome,”shesaid.
“IloveGreenGablesalready,andIneverlovedanyplacebefore.Noplaceeverseemedlikehome.Oh,Marilla,I’msohappy.
Icouldprayrightnowandnotfinditabithard.”
SomethingwarmandpleasantwelledupinMarilla’sheartattouchofthatthinlittlehandinherown—athrobofthematernityshehadmissed,perhaps.
Itsveryunaccustomednessandsweetnessdisturbedher.
Shehastenedtorestorehersensationstotheirnormalcalmbyinculcatingamoral.
“Ifyou’llbeagoodgirlyou’llalwaysbehappy,Anne.Andyoushouldneverfindithardtosayyourprayers.”
“Sayingone’sprayersisn’texactlythesamethingaspraying,”saidAnnemeditatively.
“ButI’mgoingtoimaginethatI’mthewindthatisblowingupthereinthosetreetops.
WhenIgettiredofthetreesI’llimagineI’mgentlywavingdownhereintheferns—andthenI’llflyovertoMrs.Lynde’sgardenandsettheflowersdancing—andthenI’llgowithonegreatswoopoverthecloverfield—andthenI’llblowovertheLakeofShiningWatersandrippleitallupintolittlesparklingwaves.
Oh,there’ssomuchscopeforimaginationinawind!
SoI’llnottalkanymorejustnow,Marilla.”
“Thanksbetogoodnessforthat,”breathedMarillaindevoutrelief.
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