Chapter X: The Lobster Quadrille from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

English

TheMockTurtlesigheddeeply,anddrewthebackofoneflapperacrosshiseyes.

HelookedatAlice,andtriedtospeak,butforaminuteortwosobschokedhisvoice.

'Sameasifhehadaboneinhisthroat,'saidtheGryphon:anditsettoworkshakinghimandpunchinghimintheback.

AtlasttheMockTurtlerecoveredhisvoice,and,withtearsrunningdownhischeeks,hewentonagain:—

'Youmaynothavelivedmuchunderthesea—'('Ihaven't,'saidAlice)—'andperhapsyouwereneverevenintroducedtoalobster—'(Alicebegantosay'Ioncetasted—'butcheckedherselfhastily,andsaid'No,never')'—soyoucanhavenoideawhatadelightfulthingaLobsterQuadrilleis!'

'No,indeed,'saidAlice.'Whatsortofadanceisit?'

'Why,'saidtheGryphon,'youfirstformintoalinealongthesea–shore—'

'Twolines!'criedtheMockTurtle.'Seals,turtles,salmon,andsoon;then,whenyou'veclearedallthejelly–fishoutoftheway—'

'THATgenerallytakessometime,'interruptedtheGryphon.

'—youadvancetwice—'

'Eachwithalobsterasapartner!'criedtheGryphon.

'Ofcourse,'theMockTurtlesaid:'advancetwice,settopartners—'

'—changelobsters,andretireinsameorder,'continuedtheGryphon.

'Then,youknow,'theMockTurtlewenton,'youthrowthe—'

'Thelobsters!'shoutedtheGryphon,withaboundintotheair.

'—asfarouttoseaasyoucan—'

'Swimafterthem!'screamedtheGryphon.

'Turnasomersaultinthesea!'criedtheMockTurtle,caperingwildlyabout.

'Changelobstersagain!'yelledtheGryphonatthetopofitsvoice.

'Backtolandagain,andthat'sallthefirstfigure,'saidtheMockTurtle,suddenlydroppinghisvoice;andthetwocreatures,whohadbeenjumpingaboutlikemadthingsallthistime,satdownagainverysadlyandquietly,andlookedatAlice.

'Itmustbeaveryprettydance,'saidAlicetimidly.

'Wouldyouliketoseealittleofit?'saidtheMockTurtle.

'Verymuchindeed,'saidAlice.

'Come,let'strythefirstfigure!'saidtheMockTurtletotheGryphon.'Wecandowithoutlobsters,youknow.Whichshallsing?'

'Oh,YOUsing,'saidtheGryphon.'I'veforgottenthewords.'

SotheybegansolemnlydancingroundandroundAlice,everynowandthentreadingonhertoeswhentheypassedtooclose,andwavingtheirforepawstomarkthetime,whiletheMockTurtlesangthis,veryslowlyandsadly:—

'"Willyouwalkalittlefaster?"saidawhitingtoasnail.

"There'saporpoiseclosebehindus,andhe'streadingonmytail.

Seehoweagerlythelobstersandtheturtlesalladvance!

Theyarewaitingontheshingle—willyoucomeandjointhedance?

Willyou,won'tyou,willyou,won'tyou,willyoujointhedance?

Willyou,won'tyou,willyou,won'tyou,won'tyoujointhedance?

"Youcanreallyhavenonotionhowdelightfulitwillbe

Whentheytakeusupandthrowus,withthelobsters,outtosea!"

Butthesnailreplied"Toofar,toofar!"andgavealookaskance—

Saidhethankedthewhitingkindly,buthewouldnotjointhedance.

Wouldnot,couldnot,wouldnot,couldnot,wouldnotjointhedance.

Wouldnot,couldnot,wouldnot,couldnot,couldnotjointhedance.

'"Whatmattersithowfarwego?"hisscalyfriendreplied.

"Thereisanothershore,youknow,upontheotherside.

ThefurtherofffromEnglandtheneareristoFrance—

Thenturnnotpale,belovedsnail,butcomeandjointhedance.

Willyou,won'tyou,willyou,won'tyou,willyoujointhedance?

Willyou,won'tyou,willyou,won'tyou,won'tyoujointhedance?"'

'Thankyou,it'saveryinterestingdancetowatch,'saidAlice,feelingverygladthatitwasoveratlast:'andIdosolikethatcurioussongaboutthewhiting!'

'Oh,astothewhiting,'saidtheMockTurtle,'they—you'veseenthem,ofcourse?'

'Yes,'saidAlice,'I'veoftenseenthematdinn—'shecheckedherselfhastily.

'Idon'tknowwhereDinnmaybe,'saidtheMockTurtle,'butifyou'veseenthemsooften,ofcourseyouknowwhatthey'relike.'

'Ibelieveso,'Alicerepliedthoughtfully.'Theyhavetheirtailsintheirmouths—andthey'reallovercrumbs.'

'You'rewrongaboutthecrumbs,'saidtheMockTurtle:'crumbswouldallwashoffinthesea.

ButtheyHAVEtheirtailsintheirmouths;andthereasonis—'heretheMockTurtleyawnedandshuthiseyes.

—'Tellheraboutthereasonandallthat,'hesaidtotheGryphon.

'Thereasonis,'saidtheGryphon,'thattheyWOULDgowiththelobsterstothedance.Sotheygotthrownouttosea.Sotheyhadtofallalongway.

Sotheygottheirtailsfastintheirmouths.Sotheycouldn'tgetthemoutagain.That'sall.'

'Thankyou,'saidAlice,'it'sveryinteresting.Ineverknewsomuchaboutawhitingbefore.'

'Icantellyoumorethanthat,ifyoulike,'saidtheGryphon.'Doyouknowwhyit'scalledawhiting?'

'Ineverthoughtaboutit,'saidAlice.'Why?'

'ITDOESTHEBOOTSANDSHOES.'theGryphonrepliedverysolemnly.

Alicewasthoroughlypuzzled.'Doesthebootsandshoes!'sherepeatedinawonderingtone.

'Why,whatareYOURshoesdonewith?'saidtheGryphon.'Imean,whatmakesthemsoshiny?'

Alicelookeddownatthem,andconsideredalittlebeforeshegaveheranswer.'They'redonewithblacking,Ibelieve.'

'Bootsandshoesunderthesea,'theGryphonwentoninadeepvoice,'aredonewithawhiting.Nowyouknow.'

'Andwhataretheymadeof?'Aliceaskedinatoneofgreatcuriosity.

'Solesandeels,ofcourse,'theGryphonrepliedratherimpatiently:'anyshrimpcouldhavetoldyouthat.'

'IfI'dbeenthewhiting,'saidAlice,whosethoughtswerestillrunningonthesong,'I'dhavesaidtotheporpoise,"Keepback,please:wedon'twantYOUwithus!"'

'Theywereobligedtohavehimwiththem,'theMockTurtlesaid:'nowisefishwouldgoanywherewithoutaporpoise.'

'Wouldn'titreally?'saidAliceinatoneofgreatsurprise.

'Ofcoursenot,'saidtheMockTurtle:'why,ifafishcametoME,andtoldmehewasgoingajourney,Ishouldsay"Withwhatporpoise?"'

'Don'tyoumean"purpose"?'saidAlice.

'ImeanwhatIsay,'theMockTurtlerepliedinanoffendedtone.AndtheGryphonadded'Come,let'shearsomeofYOURadventures.'

'Icouldtellyoumyadventures—beginningfromthismorning,'saidAlicealittletimidly:'butit'snousegoingbacktoyesterday,becauseIwasadifferentpersonthen.'

'Explainallthat,'saidtheMockTurtle.

'No,no!Theadventuresfirst,'saidtheGryphoninanimpatienttone:'explanationstakesuchadreadfultime.'

SoAlicebegantellingthemheradventuresfromthetimewhenshefirstsawtheWhiteRabbit.

Shewasalittlenervousaboutitjustatfirst,thetwocreaturesgotsoclosetoher,oneoneachside,andopenedtheireyesandmouthssoVERYwide,butshegainedcourageasshewenton.

Herlistenerswereperfectlyquiettillshegottothepartaboutherrepeating'YOUAREOLD,FATHERWILLIAM,'totheCaterpillar,andthewordsallcomingdifferent,andthentheMockTurtledrewalongbreath,andsaid'That'sverycurious.'

'It'sallaboutascuriousasitcanbe,'saidtheGryphon.

'Itallcamedifferent!'theMockTurtlerepeatedthoughtfully.'

Ishouldliketohearhertryandrepeatsomethingnow.Tellhertobegin.'

HelookedattheGryphonasifhethoughtithadsomekindofauthorityoverAlice.

'Standupandrepeat"'TISTHEVOICEOFTHESLUGGARD,"'saidtheGryphon.

'Howthecreaturesorderoneabout,andmakeonerepeatlessons!'

thoughtAlice;'Imightaswellbeatschoolatonce.'

However,shegotup,andbegantorepeatit,butherheadwassofulloftheLobsterQuadrille,thatshehardlyknewwhatshewassaying,andthewordscameveryqueerindeed:—

''TisthevoiceoftheLobster;Iheardhimdeclare,

"Youhavebakedmetoobrown,Imustsugarmyhair."

Asaduckwithitseyelids,sohewithhisnose

Trimshisbeltandhisbuttons,andturnsouthistoes.'

[latereditionscontinuedasfollows]

Whenthesandsarealldry,heisgayasalark,

AndwilltalkincontemptuoustonesoftheShark,

But,whenthetiderisesandsharksarearound,

Hisvoicehasatimidandtremuloussound.

'That'sdifferentfromwhatIusedtosaywhenIwasachild,'saidtheGryphon.

'Well,Ineverhearditbefore,'saidtheMockTurtle;'butitsoundsuncommonnonsense.'

Alicesaidnothing;shehadsatdownwithherfaceinherhands,wonderingifanythingwouldEVERhappeninanaturalwayagain.

'Ishouldliketohaveitexplained,'saidtheMockTurtle.

'Shecan'texplainit,'saidtheGryphonhastily.'Goonwiththenextverse.'

'Butabouthistoes?'theMockTurtlepersisted.'HowCOULDheturnthemoutwithhisnose,youknow?'

'It'sthefirstpositionindancing.'Alicesaid;butwasdreadfullypuzzledbythewholething,andlongedtochangethesubject.

'Goonwiththenextverse,'theGryphonrepeatedimpatiently:'itbegins"Ipassedbyhisgarden."'

Alicedidnotdaretodisobey,thoughshefeltsureitwouldallcomewrong,andshewentoninatremblingvoice:—

'Ipassedbyhisgarden,andmarked,withoneeye,

HowtheOwlandthePantherweresharingapie—'

[latereditionscontinuedasfollows]

ThePanthertookpie–crust,andgravy,andmeat,

WhiletheOwlhadthedishasitsshareofthetreat.

Whenthepiewasallfinished,theOwl,asaboon,

Waskindlypermittedtopocketthespoon:

WhilethePantherreceivedknifeandforkwithagrowl,

Andconcludedthebanquet—]

'WhatIStheuseofrepeatingallthatstuff,'theMockTurtleinterrupted,'ifyoudon'texplainitasyougoon?It'sbyfarthemostconfusingthingIeverheard!'

'Yes,Ithinkyou'dbetterleaveoff,'saidtheGryphon:andAlicewasonlytoogladtodoso.

'ShallwetryanotherfigureoftheLobsterQuadrille?'theGryphonwenton.'OrwouldyouliketheMockTurtletosingyouasong?'

'Oh,asong,please,iftheMockTurtlewouldbesokind,'Alicereplied,soeagerlythattheGryphonsaid,inaratheroffendedtone,'Hm!Noaccountingfortastes!

Singher"TurtleSoup,"willyou,oldfellow?'

TheMockTurtlesigheddeeply,andbegan,inavoicesometimeschokedwithsobs,tosingthis:—

'BeautifulSoup,sorichandgreen,

Waitinginahottureen!

Whoforsuchdaintieswouldnotstoop?

Soupoftheevening,beautifulSoup!

Beau—ootifulSoo—oop!

Soo—oopofthee—e—evening,

Beautiful,beautifulSoup!

'BeautifulSoup!Whocaresforfish,

Game,oranyotherdish?

Whowouldnotgiveallelsefortwo

PennyworthonlyofbeautifulSoup?

Beau—ootifulSoo—oop!

Soo—oopofthee—e—evening,

Beautiful,beauti—FULSOUP!'

'Chorusagain!'criedtheGryphon,andtheMockTurtlehadjustbeguntorepeatit,whenacryof'Thetrial'sbeginning!'washeardinthedistance.

'Comeon!'criedtheGryphon,and,takingAlicebythehand,ithurriedoff,withoutwaitingfortheendofthesong.

'Whattrialisit?'Alicepantedassheran;buttheGryphononlyanswered'Comeon!'

andranthefaster,whilemoreandmorefaintlycame,carriedonthebreezethatfollowedthem,themelancholywords:—

'Soo—oopofthee—e—evening,

Beautiful,beautifulSoup!'

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