English
Therewasatablesetoutunderatreeinfrontofthehouse,andtheMarchHareandtheHatterwerehavingteaatit:aDormousewassittingbetweenthem,fastasleep,andtheothertwowereusingitasacushion,restingtheirelbowsonit,andtalkingoveritshead.
'VeryuncomfortablefortheDormouse,'thoughtAlice;'only,asit'sasleep,Isupposeitdoesn'tmind.'
Thetablewasalargeone,butthethreewereallcrowdedtogetheratonecornerofit:'Noroom!Noroom!'
theycriedoutwhentheysawAlicecoming.'There'sPLENTYofroom!'
saidAliceindignantly,andshesatdowninalargearm–chairatoneendofthetable.
'Havesomewine,'theMarchHaresaidinanencouragingtone.
Alicelookedallroundthetable,buttherewasnothingonitbuttea.'Idon'tseeanywine,'sheremarked.
'Thereisn'tany,'saidtheMarchHare.
'Thenitwasn'tverycivilofyoutoofferit,'saidAliceangrily.
'Itwasn'tverycivilofyoutositdownwithoutbeinginvited,'saidtheMarchHare.
'Ididn'tknowitwasYOURtable,'saidAlice;'it'slaidforagreatmanymorethanthree.'
'Yourhairwantscutting,'saidtheHatter.HehadbeenlookingatAliceforsometimewithgreatcuriosity,andthiswashisfirstspeech.
'Youshouldlearnnottomakepersonalremarks,'Alicesaidwithsomeseverity;'it'sveryrude.'
TheHatteropenedhiseyesverywideonhearingthis;butallheSAIDwas,'Whyisaravenlikeawriting–desk?'
'Come,weshallhavesomefunnow!'thoughtAlice.'I'mgladthey'vebegunaskingriddles.—IbelieveIcanguessthat,'sheaddedaloud.
'Doyoumeanthatyouthinkyoucanfindouttheanswertoit?'saidtheMarchHare.
'Exactlyso,'saidAlice.
'Thenyoushouldsaywhatyoumean,'theMarchHarewenton.
'Ido,'Alicehastilyreplied;'atleast—atleastImeanwhatIsay—that'sthesamething,youknow.'
'Notthesamethingabit!'saidtheHatter.'Youmightjustaswellsaythat"IseewhatIeat"isthesamethingas"IeatwhatIsee"!'
'Youmightjustaswellsay,'addedtheMarchHare,'that"IlikewhatIget"isthesamethingas"IgetwhatIlike"!'
'Youmightjustaswellsay,'addedtheDormouse,whoseemedtobetalkinginhissleep,'that"IbreathewhenIsleep"isthesamethingas"IsleepwhenIbreathe"!'
'ItISthesamethingwithyou,'saidtheHatter,andheretheconversationdropped,andthepartysatsilentforaminute,whileAlicethoughtoverallshecouldrememberaboutravensandwriting–desks,whichwasn'tmuch.
TheHatterwasthefirsttobreakthesilence.'Whatdayofthemonthisit?'
hesaid,turningtoAlice:hehadtakenhiswatchoutofhispocket,andwaslookingatituneasily,shakingiteverynowandthen,andholdingittohisear.
Aliceconsideredalittle,andthensaid'Thefourth.'
'Twodayswrong!'sighedtheHatter.'Itoldyoubutterwouldn'tsuittheworks!'headdedlookingangrilyattheMarchHare.
'ItwastheBESTbutter,'theMarchHaremeeklyreplied.
'Yes,butsomecrumbsmusthavegotinaswell,'theHattergrumbled:'youshouldn'thaveputitinwiththebread–knife.'
TheMarchHaretookthewatchandlookedatitgloomily:thenhedippeditintohiscupoftea,andlookedatitagain:buthecouldthinkofnothingbettertosaythanhisfirstremark,'ItwastheBESTbutter,youknow.'
Alicehadbeenlookingoverhisshoulderwithsomecuriosity.'Whatafunnywatch!'sheremarked.'Ittellsthedayofthemonth,anddoesn'ttellwhato'clockitis!'
'Whyshouldit?'mutteredtheHatter.'DoesYOURwatchtellyouwhatyearitis?'
'Ofcoursenot,'Alicerepliedveryreadily:'butthat'sbecauseitstaysthesameyearforsuchalongtimetogether.'
'WhichisjustthecasewithMINE,'saidtheHatter.
Alicefeltdreadfullypuzzled.TheHatter'sremarkseemedtohavenosortofmeaninginit,andyetitwascertainlyEnglish.'Idon'tquiteunderstandyou,'shesaid,aspolitelyasshecould.
'TheDormouseisasleepagain,'saidtheHatter,andhepouredalittlehotteauponitsnose.
TheDormouseshookitsheadimpatiently,andsaid,withoutopeningitseyes,'Ofcourse,ofcourse;justwhatIwasgoingtoremarkmyself.'
'Haveyouguessedtheriddleyet?'theHattersaid,turningtoAliceagain.
'No,Igiveitup,'Alicereplied:'what'stheanswer?'
'Ihaven'ttheslightestidea,'saidtheHatter.
'NorI,'saidtheMarchHare.
Alicesighedwearily.'Ithinkyoumightdosomethingbetterwiththetime,'shesaid,'thanwasteitinaskingriddlesthathavenoanswers.'
'IfyouknewTimeaswellasIdo,'saidtheHatter,'youwouldn'ttalkaboutwastingIT.It'sHIM.'
'Idon'tknowwhatyoumean,'saidAlice.
'Ofcourseyoudon't!'theHattersaid,tossinghisheadcontemptuously.'IdaresayyouneverevenspoketoTime!'
'Perhapsnot,'Alicecautiouslyreplied:'butIknowIhavetobeattimewhenIlearnmusic.'
'Ah!thataccountsforit,'saidtheHatter.'Hewon'tstandbeating.
Now,ifyouonlykeptongoodtermswithhim,he'ddoalmostanythingyoulikedwiththeclock.
Forinstance,supposeitwerenineo'clockinthemorning,justtimetobeginlessons:you'donlyhavetowhisperahinttoTime,androundgoestheclockinatwinkling!Half–pastone,timefordinner!'
('Ionlywishitwas,'theMarchHaresaidtoitselfinawhisper.)
'Thatwouldbegrand,certainly,'saidAlicethoughtfully:'butthen—Ishouldn'tbehungryforit,youknow.'
'Notatfirst,perhaps,'saidtheHatter:'butyoucouldkeepittohalf–pastoneaslongasyouliked.'
'IsthatthewayYOUmanage?'Aliceasked.
TheHattershookhisheadmournfully.'NotI!'hereplied.
'WequarrelledlastMarch—justbeforeHEwentmad,youknow—'(pointingwithhisteaspoonattheMarchHare,)'—itwasatthegreatconcertgivenbytheQueenofHearts,andIhadtosing
"Twinkle,twinkle,littlebat!
HowIwonderwhatyou'reat!"
Youknowthesong,perhaps?'
'I'veheardsomethinglikeit,'saidAlice.
'Itgoeson,youknow,'theHattercontinued,'inthisway:—
"Upabovetheworldyoufly,
Likeatea–trayinthesky.
Twinkle,twinkle—"'
HeretheDormouseshookitself,andbegansinginginitssleep'Twinkle,twinkle,twinkle,twinkle—'andwentonsolongthattheyhadtopinchittomakeitstop.
'Well,I'dhardlyfinishedthefirstverse,'saidtheHatter,'whentheQueenjumpedupandbawledout,"He'smurderingthetime!Offwithhishead!"'
'Howdreadfullysavage!'exclaimedAlice.
'Andeversincethat,'theHatterwentoninamournfultone,'hewon'tdoathingIask!It'salwayssixo'clocknow.'
AbrightideacameintoAlice'shead.'Isthatthereasonsomanytea–thingsareputouthere?'sheasked.
'Yes,that'sit,'saidtheHatterwithasigh:'it'salwaystea–time,andwe'venotimetowashthethingsbetweenwhiles.'
'Thenyoukeepmovinground,Isuppose?'saidAlice.
'Exactlyso,'saidtheHatter:'asthethingsgetusedup.'
'Butwhathappenswhenyoucometothebeginningagain?'Aliceventuredtoask.
'Supposewechangethesubject,'theMarchHareinterrupted,yawning.'I'mgettingtiredofthis.Ivotetheyoungladytellsusastory.'
'I'mafraidIdon'tknowone,'saidAlice,ratheralarmedattheproposal.
'ThentheDormouseshall!'theybothcried.'Wakeup,Dormouse!'Andtheypincheditonbothsidesatonce.
TheDormouseslowlyopenedhiseyes.'Iwasn'tasleep,'hesaidinahoarse,feeblevoice:'Iheardeverywordyoufellowsweresaying.'
'Tellusastory!'saidtheMarchHare.
'Yes,pleasedo!'pleadedAlice.
'Andbequickaboutit,'addedtheHatter,'oryou'llbeasleepagainbeforeit'sdone.'
'Onceuponatimetherewerethreelittlesisters,'theDormousebeganinagreathurry;'andtheirnameswereElsie,Lacie,andTillie;andtheylivedatthebottomofawell—'
'Whatdidtheyliveon?'saidAlice,whoalwaystookagreatinterestinquestionsofeatinganddrinking.
'Theylivedontreacle,'saidtheDormouse,afterthinkingaminuteortwo.
'Theycouldn'thavedonethat,youknow,'Alicegentlyremarked;'they'dhavebeenill.'
'Sotheywere,'saidtheDormouse;'VERYill.'
Alicetriedtofancytoherselfwhatsuchanextraordinarywaysoflivingwouldbelike,butitpuzzledhertoomuch,soshewenton:'Butwhydidtheyliveatthebottomofawell?'
'Takesomemoretea,'theMarchHaresaidtoAlice,veryearnestly.
'I'vehadnothingyet,'Alicerepliedinanoffendedtone,'soIcan'ttakemore.'
'Youmeanyoucan'ttakeLESS,'saidtheHatter:'it'sveryeasytotakeMOREthannothing.'
'NobodyaskedYOURopinion,'saidAlice.
'Who'smakingpersonalremarksnow?'theHatteraskedtriumphantly.
Alicedidnotquiteknowwhattosaytothis:soshehelpedherselftosometeaandbread–and–butter,andthenturnedtotheDormouse,andrepeatedherquestion.
'Whydidtheyliveatthebottomofawell?'
TheDormouseagaintookaminuteortwotothinkaboutit,andthensaid,'Itwasatreacle–well.'
'There'snosuchthing!'Alicewasbeginningveryangrily,buttheHatterandtheMarchHarewent'Sh!sh!'
andtheDormousesulkilyremarked,'Ifyoucan'tbecivil,you'dbetterfinishthestoryforyourself.'
'No,pleasegoon!'Alicesaidveryhumbly;'Iwon'tinterruptagain.IdaresaytheremaybeONE.'
'One,indeed!'saidtheDormouseindignantly.However,heconsentedtogoon.'Andsothesethreelittlesisters—theywerelearningtodraw,youknow—'
'Whatdidtheydraw?'saidAlice,quiteforgettingherpromise.
'Treacle,'saidtheDormouse,withoutconsideringatallthistime.
'Iwantacleancup,'interruptedtheHatter:'let'sallmoveoneplaceon.'
Hemovedonashespoke,andtheDormousefollowedhim:theMarchHaremovedintotheDormouse'splace,andAliceratherunwillinglytooktheplaceoftheMarchHare.
TheHatterwastheonlyonewhogotanyadvantagefromthechange:andAlicewasagooddealworseoffthanbefore,astheMarchHarehadjustupsetthemilk–jugintohisplate.
AlicedidnotwishtooffendtheDormouseagain,soshebeganverycautiously:'ButIdon'tunderstand.Wheredidtheydrawthetreaclefrom?'
'Youcandrawwateroutofawater–well,'saidtheHatter;'soIshouldthinkyoucoulddrawtreacleoutofatreacle–well—eh,stupid?'
'ButtheywereINthewell,'AlicesaidtotheDormouse,notchoosingtonoticethislastremark.
'Ofcoursetheywere',saidtheDormouse;'—wellin.'
ThisanswersoconfusedpoorAlice,thatshelettheDormousegoonforsometimewithoutinterruptingit.
'Theywerelearningtodraw,'theDormousewenton,yawningandrubbingitseyes,foritwasgettingverysleepy;'andtheydrewallmannerofthings—everythingthatbeginswithanM—'
'WhywithanM?'saidAlice.
'Whynot?'saidtheMarchHare.
Alicewassilent.
TheDormousehadcloseditseyesbythistime,andwasgoingoffintoadoze;but,onbeingpinchedbytheHatter,itwokeupagainwithalittleshriek,andwenton:'—thatbeginswithanM,suchasmouse–traps,andthemoon,andmemory,andmuchness—youknowyousaythingsare"muchofamuchness"—didyoueverseesuchathingasadrawingofamuchness?'
'Really,nowyouaskme,'saidAlice,verymuchconfused,'Idon'tthink—'
'Thenyoushouldn'ttalk,'saidtheHatter.
ThispieceofrudenesswasmorethanAlicecouldbear:shegotupingreatdisgust,andwalkedoff;theDormousefellasleepinstantly,andneitheroftheotherstooktheleastnoticeofhergoing,thoughshelookedbackonceortwice,halfhopingthattheywouldcallafterher:thelasttimeshesawthem,theyweretryingtoputtheDormouseintotheteapot.
'AtanyrateI'llnevergoTHEREagain!'saidAliceasshepickedherwaythroughthewood.'It'sthestupidesttea–partyIeverwasatinallmylife!'
Justasshesaidthis,shenoticedthatoneofthetreeshadadoorleadingrightintoit.'That'sverycurious!'shethought.'Buteverything'scurioustoday.IthinkImayaswellgoinatonce.'Andinshewent.
Oncemoreshefoundherselfinthelonghall,andclosetothelittleglasstable.
'Now,I'llmanagebetterthistime,'shesaidtoherself,andbeganbytakingthelittlegoldenkey,andunlockingthedoorthatledintothegarden.
Thenshewenttoworknibblingatthemushroom(shehadkeptapieceofitinherpocket)tillshewasaboutafoothigh:thenshewalkeddownthelittlepassage:andTHEN—shefoundherselfatlastinthebeautifulgarden,amongthebrightflower–bedsandthecoolfountains.
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