Chapter V: Advice from a Caterpillar from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

English

TheCaterpillarandAlicelookedateachotherforsometimeinsilence:atlasttheCaterpillartookthehookahoutofitsmouth,andaddressedherinalanguid,sleepyvoice.

'WhoareYOU?'saidtheCaterpillar.

Thiswasnotanencouragingopeningforaconversation.

Alicereplied,rathershyly,'I—Ihardlyknow,sir,justatpresent—atleastIknowwhoIWASwhenIgotupthismorning,butIthinkImusthavebeenchangedseveraltimessincethen.'

'Whatdoyoumeanbythat?'saidtheCaterpillarsternly.'Explainyourself!'

'Ican'texplainMYSELF,I'mafraid,sir'saidAlice,'becauseI'mnotmyself,yousee.'

'Idon'tsee,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'I'mafraidIcan'tputitmoreclearly,'Alicerepliedverypolitely,'forIcan'tunderstanditmyselftobeginwith;andbeingsomanydifferentsizesinadayisveryconfusing.'

'Itisn't,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Well,perhapsyouhaven'tfounditsoyet,'saidAlice;'butwhenyouhavetoturnintoachrysalis—youwillsomeday,youknow—andthenafterthatintoabutterfly,Ishouldthinkyou'llfeelitalittlequeer,won'tyou?'

'Notabit,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Well,perhapsyourfeelingsmaybedifferent,'saidAlice;'allIknowis,itwouldfeelveryqueertoME.'

'You!'saidtheCaterpillarcontemptuously.'WhoareYOU?'

Whichbroughtthembackagaintothebeginningoftheconversation.

AlicefeltalittleirritatedattheCaterpillar'smakingsuchVERYshortremarks,andshedrewherselfupandsaid,verygravely,'Ithink,yououghttotellmewhoYOUare,first.'

'Why?'saidtheCaterpillar.

Herewasanotherpuzzlingquestion;andasAlicecouldnotthinkofanygoodreason,andastheCaterpillarseemedtobeinaVERYunpleasantstateofmind,sheturnedaway.

'Comeback!'theCaterpillarcalledafterher.'I'vesomethingimportanttosay!'

Thissoundedpromising,certainly:Aliceturnedandcamebackagain.

'Keepyourtemper,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Isthatall?'saidAlice,swallowingdownherangeraswellasshecould.

'No,'saidtheCaterpillar.

Alicethoughtshemightaswellwait,asshehadnothingelsetodo,andperhapsafterallitmighttellhersomethingworthhearing.

Forsomeminutesitpuffedawaywithoutspeaking,butatlastitunfoldeditsarms,tookthehookahoutofitsmouthagain,andsaid,'Soyouthinkyou'rechanged,doyou?'

'I'mafraidIam,sir,'saidAlice;'Ican'trememberthingsasIused—andIdon'tkeepthesamesizefortenminutestogether!'

'Can'trememberWHATthings?'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Well,I'vetriedtosay"HOWDOTHTHELITTLEBUSYBEE,"butitallcamedifferent!'Alicerepliedinaverymelancholyvoice.

'Repeat,"YOUAREOLD,FATHERWILLIAM,"'saidtheCaterpillar.

Alicefoldedherhands,andbegan:—

'Youareold,FatherWilliam,'theyoungmansaid,

'Andyourhairhasbecomeverywhite;

Andyetyouincessantlystandonyourhead—

Doyouthink,atyourage,itisright?'

'Inmyyouth,'FatherWilliamrepliedtohisson,

'Ifeareditmightinjurethebrain;

But,nowthatI'mperfectlysureIhavenone,

Why,Idoitagainandagain.'

'Youareold,'saidtheyouth,'asImentionedbefore,

Andhavegrownmostuncommonlyfat;

Yetyouturnedaback–somersaultinatthedoor—

Pray,whatisthereasonofthat?'

'Inmyyouth,'saidthesage,asheshookhisgreylocks,

'Ikeptallmylimbsverysupple

Bytheuseofthisointment—oneshillingthebox—

Allowmetosellyouacouple?'

'Youareold,'saidtheyouth,'andyourjawsaretooweak

Foranythingtougherthansuet;

Yetyoufinishedthegoose,withthebonesandthebeak—

Prayhowdidyoumanagetodoit?'

'Inmyyouth,'saidhisfather,'Itooktothelaw,

Andarguedeachcasewithmywife;

Andthemuscularstrength,whichitgavetomyjaw,

Haslastedtherestofmylife.'

'Youareold,'saidtheyouth,'onewouldhardlysuppose

Thatyoureyewasassteadyasever;

Yetyoubalancedaneelontheendofyournose—

Whatmadeyousoawfullyclever?'

'Ihaveansweredthreequestions,andthatisenough,'

Saidhisfather;'don'tgiveyourselfairs!

DoyouthinkIcanlistenalldaytosuchstuff?

Beoff,orI'llkickyoudownstairs!'

'Thatisnotsaidright,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'NotQUITEright,I'mafraid,'saidAlice,timidly;'someofthewordshavegotaltered.'

'Itiswrongfrombeginningtoend,'saidtheCaterpillardecidedly,andtherewassilenceforsomeminutes.

TheCaterpillarwasthefirsttospeak.

'Whatsizedoyouwanttobe?'itasked.

'Oh,I'mnotparticularastosize,'Alicehastilyreplied;'onlyonedoesn'tlikechangingsooften,youknow.'

'IDON'Tknow,'saidtheCaterpillar.

Alicesaidnothing:shehadneverbeensomuchcontradictedinherlifebefore,andshefeltthatshewaslosinghertemper.

'Areyoucontentnow?'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Well,IshouldliketobeaLITTLElarger,sir,ifyouwouldn'tmind,'saidAlice:'threeinchesissuchawretchedheighttobe.'

'Itisaverygoodheightindeed!'saidtheCaterpillarangrily,rearingitselfuprightasitspoke(itwasexactlythreeincheshigh).

'ButI'mnotusedtoit!'pleadedpoorAliceinapiteoustone.Andshethoughtofherself,'Iwishthecreatureswouldn'tbesoeasilyoffended!'

'You'llgetusedtoitintime,'saidtheCaterpillar;anditputthehookahintoitsmouthandbegansmokingagain.

ThistimeAlicewaitedpatientlyuntilitchosetospeakagain.

InaminuteortwotheCaterpillartookthehookahoutofitsmouthandyawnedonceortwice,andshookitself.

Thenitgotdownoffthemushroom,andcrawledawayinthegrass,merelyremarkingasitwent,'Onesidewillmakeyougrowtaller,andtheothersidewillmakeyougrowshorter.'

'OnesideofWHAT?TheothersideofWHAT?'thoughtAlicetoherself.

'Ofthemushroom,'saidtheCaterpillar,justasifshehadaskeditaloud;andinanothermomentitwasoutofsight.

Aliceremainedlookingthoughtfullyatthemushroomforaminute,tryingtomakeoutwhichwerethetwosidesofit;andasitwasperfectlyround,shefoundthisaverydifficultquestion.

However,atlastshestretchedherarmsrounditasfarastheywouldgo,andbrokeoffabitoftheedgewitheachhand.

'Andnowwhichiswhich?'shesaidtoherself,andnibbledalittleoftheright–handbittotrytheeffect:thenextmomentshefeltaviolentblowunderneathherchin:ithadstruckherfoot!

Shewasagooddealfrightenedbythisverysuddenchange,butshefeltthattherewasnotimetobelost,asshewasshrinkingrapidly;soshesettoworkatoncetoeatsomeoftheotherbit.

Herchinwaspressedsocloselyagainstherfoot,thattherewashardlyroomtoopenhermouth;butshediditatlast,andmanagedtoswallowamorselofthelefthandbit.

'Come,myhead'sfreeatlast!'saidAliceinatoneofdelight,whichchangedintoalarminanothermoment,whenshefoundthathershoulderswerenowheretobefound:allshecouldsee,whenshelookeddown,wasanimmenselengthofneck,whichseemedtoriselikeastalkoutofaseaofgreenleavesthatlayfarbelowher.

'WhatCANallthatgreenstuffbe?'saidAlice.'AndwhereHAVEmyshouldersgotto?

Andoh,mypoorhands,howisitIcan'tseeyou?'

Shewasmovingthemaboutasshespoke,butnoresultseemedtofollow,exceptalittleshakingamongthedistantgreenleaves.

Asthereseemedtobenochanceofgettingherhandsuptoherhead,shetriedtogetherheaddowntothem,andwasdelightedtofindthatherneckwouldbendabouteasilyinanydirection,likeaserpent.

Shehadjustsucceededincurvingitdownintoagracefulzigzag,andwasgoingtodiveinamongtheleaves,whichshefoundtobenothingbutthetopsofthetreesunderwhichshehadbeenwandering,whenasharphissmadeherdrawbackinahurry:alargepigeonhadflownintoherface,andwasbeatingherviolentlywithitswings.

'Serpent!'screamedthePigeon.

'I'mNOTaserpent!'saidAliceindignantly.'Letmealone!'

'Serpent,Isayagain!'repeatedthePigeon,butinamoresubduedtone,andaddedwithakindofsob,'I'vetriedeveryway,andnothingseemstosuitthem!'

'Ihaven'ttheleastideawhatyou'retalkingabout,'saidAlice.

'I'vetriedtherootsoftrees,andI'vetriedbanks,andI'vetriedhedges,'thePigeonwenton,withoutattendingtoher;'butthoseserpents!There'snopleasingthem!'

Alicewasmoreandmorepuzzled,butshethoughttherewasnouseinsayinganythingmoretillthePigeonhadfinished.

'Asifitwasn'ttroubleenoughhatchingtheeggs,'saidthePigeon;'butImustbeonthelook–outforserpentsnightandday!Why,Ihaven'thadawinkofsleepthesethreeweeks!'

'I'mverysorryyou'vebeenannoyed,'saidAlice,whowasbeginningtoseeitsmeaning.

'AndjustasI'dtakenthehighesttreeinthewood,'continuedthePigeon,raisingitsvoicetoashriek,'andjustasIwasthinkingIshouldbefreeofthematlast,theymustneedscomewrigglingdownfromthesky!Ugh,Serpent!'

'ButI'mNOTaserpent,Itellyou!'saidAlice.'I'ma—I'ma—'

'Well!WHATareyou?'saidthePigeon.'Icanseeyou'retryingtoinventsomething!'

'I—I'malittlegirl,'saidAlice,ratherdoubtfully,assherememberedthenumberofchangesshehadgonethroughthatday.

'Alikelystoryindeed!'saidthePigeoninatoneofthedeepestcontempt.

'I'veseenagoodmanylittlegirlsinmytime,butneverONEwithsuchaneckasthat!No,no!

You'reaserpent;andthere'snousedenyingit.

Isupposeyou'llbetellingmenextthatyounevertastedanegg!'

'IHAVEtastedeggs,certainly,'saidAlice,whowasaverytruthfulchild;'butlittlegirlseateggsquiteasmuchasserpentsdo,youknow.'

'Idon'tbelieveit,'saidthePigeon;'butiftheydo,whythenthey'reakindofserpent,that'sallIcansay.'

ThiswassuchanewideatoAlice,thatshewasquitesilentforaminuteortwo,whichgavethePigeontheopportunityofadding,'You'relookingforeggs,IknowTHATwellenough;andwhatdoesitmattertomewhetheryou'realittlegirloraserpent?'

'ItmattersagooddealtoME,'saidAlicehastily;'butI'mnotlookingforeggs,asithappens;andifIwas,Ishouldn'twantYOURS:Idon'tlikethemraw.'

'Well,beoff,then!'saidthePigeoninasulkytone,asitsettleddownagainintoitsnest.

Alicecroucheddownamongthetreesaswellasshecould,forherneckkeptgettingentangledamongthebranches,andeverynowandthenshehadtostopanduntwistit.

Afterawhilesherememberedthatshestillheldthepiecesofmushroominherhands,andshesettoworkverycarefully,nibblingfirstatoneandthenattheother,andgrowingsometimestallerandsometimesshorter,untilshehadsucceededinbringingherselfdowntoherusualheight.

Itwassolongsinceshehadbeenanythingneartherightsize,thatitfeltquitestrangeatfirst;butshegotusedtoitinafewminutes,andbegantalkingtoherself,asusual.'Come,there'shalfmyplandonenow!Howpuzzlingallthesechangesare!

I'mneversurewhatI'mgoingtobe,fromoneminutetoanother!

However,I'vegotbacktomyrightsize:thenextthingis,togetintothatbeautifulgarden—howISthattobedone,Iwonder?'

Asshesaidthis,shecamesuddenlyuponanopenplace,withalittlehouseinitaboutfourfeethigh.

'Whoeverlivesthere,'thoughtAlice,'it'llneverdotocomeuponthemTHISsize:why,Ishouldfrightenthemoutoftheirwits!'

Soshebegannibblingattherighthandbitagain,anddidnotventuretogonearthehousetillshehadbroughtherselfdowntonineincheshigh.

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